How to deal when someone breaks your heart?
There’s nothing more painful than having your heart broken by someone you love and trust a lot. It makes you feel sad, depressed and left out. Doesn’t it?
You may keep thinking about it, again and again, feel guilty, cry, seek closure, and then back to square one. You may feel like it’s the end of the world and that you can never repair your emotional wounds.
We focus on problems to the extent that we fail to see numerous possibilities right in front of us. Eventually, we feel hopeless and helpless. Hopelessness comes from pessimism and triggers negative expectations about the future. It is believed that hopelessness combined with helplessness increases the risk of suicidal behavior.
According to a study published in Comprehensive Psychology, hopelessness comes from pessimism and triggers negative expectations about the future. The study cited other research findings that found that hopelessness combined with helplessness increases the risk of suicidal behavior.
As per The Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death for all US Americans. But, it’s a third leading cause of death for young people 15-24 years. Researchers identified that relationship or marital problems are one of the top causes of suicide.(1)
But we mustn’t forget that no matter how dark the night was, the sun always rises in the morning. Both suffering and happiness are a choice. If you choose to rise over pain, you will become stronger. For that, you must learn from your mistakes and move forward.
Here’re 7 things to remember when someone breaks your heart:
1. Everything happens for a reason.
Not all romances are made to last forever!
Every person who enters our life has a part to play. They trigger our self-development and personal growth and shape us into who we are today. You are deeply attracted to a person because he or she could give you what you needed most at that point in life. They provide you the opportunity to learn, grow, become self-aware and achieve your goals.
That’s the beauty of life!
With time our thoughts, attitude, and outlook towards life change. Eventually, people fit in our lives might change as well. So, it’s important to evolve with time and accept the idea that people mostly outgrow each other. No matter how challenging it is, you will become stronger.
Say thanks to the universe for giving you cherishable memories with this person and move on. When going through a breakup, it can be quite difficult to have this perspective. As time passes you will find unpleasant feelings have faded.
You are inflicting more pain, by holding grudges, which can damage the next special relationship, you’ll have in the future.
You can control your emotions, but not breakups. Embrace your emotions, introspect your life and re-evaluate your goals and life vision. By making active choices you can open up your mind and heart. You will emerge from the darkness and see that life is a lot brighter and beautiful.
Related: Managing Loneliness and Heartbreak
2. Don’t let heartbreak destroy you
Life is a series of events. If you don’t move on you’ll never know how much happiness is lying ahead.
Why do you let one heartbreak traumatize you so badly?
Most people enter into depression and never want to talk to other men or women because it didn’t work out before. The worst thing is to start being dependent on alcohol and substances and spoil yourselves mentally and physically. It will only amplify your pain and the feeling of unworthiness. Everyone wants to be happy at the end of the day, but without effort. It’s like-
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Acknowledge and accept
Don’t turn yourself into a heartless monster by withdrawing from people, piling up resentment, and self-sabotaging thoughts.
Instead, acknowledge your drawbacks and character defects. Even if your ex was 90% wrong, admit where you went wrong. This step is not applicable to people who are the victim of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship.
Accepting your flaws leads to emotional maturity that can well favor your future relationships. Because self-reflection is a liberating process. Being aware of yourself increases your sense of identity. Love and believe in yourself and cherish every beautiful thing on earth. You will see healthy relationships coming your way.
3. Never wait for true love.
We all have grown up hearing “true love is worth waiting for,” but waiting accomplishes nothing. Just go with the flow
So far you must have had multiple heartbreaks. It is actually worth it! You will get to know what to do and not do, what to expect and how to deal with arguments, and all the handy techniques for a successful relationship.
Think of your first breakup.
Does it hurt you the same way as it did years ago?
Experience a heartbreak and think of the day when your heart would heal. It’ll just be that much better when you wake up in love again.
Whether you get closure or not, your heart would heal. Being optimistic and hopeful is a good thing. And no good thing ever dies. Despite all the pain, you might encounter a grand romance.