“Wanna go out to dinner?”
While texting is a quick and easy way to make plans for dinner and stay in touch during the day, it is also a weak and impersonal form of communication.
So why do men (and women) constantly text instead of calling?
1. It can be a form of casual entertainment, like listening to the radio or watching TV.
2. It is a way to avoid meaningful conversations and emotional involvement.
3. It is the lazy man’s way of navigating a casual relationship.
4. It enables a disingenuous man to conceal his activities and then to suddenly disappear when he has finished toying with your emotions.
5. It insulates the insecure man from his fear of rejection.
Then again, He may not know that texting rubs you the wrong way. It is your responsibility to tell him, “Hey, thanks for texting but would love to hear your voice. Give me a call.”
In the wrong hands, some men use texting to bully, dominate and exploit women.
Warning to faint-hearted readers: this true story contains explicit sexting.
The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Wendy met Kevin on a Christian dating website. He was handsome, smiling and well-groomed. He described himself as a divorced 48-year-old Christian man looking for a Christian woman who would be his best friend and partner in life. Wendy, 51, replied to Kevin’s email, he asked for her phone number, he called her once and he switched to frequent text messages.
Wendy didn’t recognize Kevin when she met him at a restaurant for their first date. He looked ten years older than his online photos, twenty pounds heavier and his hair was thinner. But he was still handsome and there was instant chemistry between them—and so she dismissed his deception.
Kevin presented himself as a devout Christian. He talked about doing his “personal work” after his divorce. He interjected scriptures into their conversation to back up a moral point. He said he was a teacher for a divorce recovery program for single men and women at his church for the past eight years.
After their first date, Kevin stepped up his pursuit. He texted Wendy early every morning, “Good morning, precious, have a blessed day.” He texted sweet nothings throughout the day and he called her every night before she went to bed. He told her he couldn’t wait for her to meet his children and take her to church with him. He said he was closing his dating profile and within two weeks he said on the phone, “I love you,” and he jokingly inferred marriage.
Wendy knew Kevin’s proclamations of love were happening way too fast—but truly he seemed genuine and Wendy was falling in love with him.
On their second date, they enjoyed a romantic dinner. After dinner he walked her to her car, he pressed her up against her car door, he gave her a passionate kiss and his hand found her breast.
Kevin continued to call Wendy nightly. “When are you going to marry me,” he cooed over the phone one night. He texted her daily, saying, “I want to be with you.” Then he jacked up his game. He texted, “When are we going to make love?” And he wrote, “Dreamed of u last nite, got excited.”
