2. The Silent Treatment – They Become Emotionally Unavailable During Conflict
Let us assume that you struck up enough courage to confront the narcissist about their flaws. Suppose you tell them about how they are ruining the relationship, and how certain behavioral patterns need to change if you both hope to sustain your bond. They will listen to you. But as soon as you are done, they will crawl into their shell, and shut you out. They will be cold, distant, quiet, and behave as though your perfectly logical and adult model of conflict resolution has caused them deep pain. It is obvious that a narcissist hates being confronted with their own shortcomings. They worship themselves as gods. Should you throw them off a pedestal, you become the villain in their lives. They refuse to concede that they could possibly have made a mistake. Instead, you are made to feel horrible for ever having feelings in the first place. They will make you feel insanely miserable for demanding anything of them, and for hurting them with you justified the honest opinion. You will then have to walk up to them and apologize for being a conscious adult, just so that they can continue to prosper in their dream of being and acting like the perfect infant.
3. Lying To Keep Their Repute – They Will Lie To Seem Like The Victim
Narcissists are frighteningly protective about their self-image. If you break up with them, then rest assured that the entire population of the country will know by tomorrow morning that it was him/her who dumped you. They will not accept anybody marring their reputation, even in the face of personal or emotional disaster. If you both get into a long and ugly fight, then all your friends will repeatedly hear only their version of it, forcing them to memorize a flawed account. In his/her retelling of the story, you are always the villain, and they will paint such a horrifying picture of you, that it will be terribly difficult to recover from it.
The worst part of this is that the narcissist actually believes in the very tales that they concoct. It is their way of rewriting the reality to their own benefit. They blindly believe in their own truth, their own story, where they are the sole heroes. They rethink their memories into cutting their role of the villain out. Their world has no space for doubt or self-loathing. Their own validation is what they crave for, the most.
4. They Would Choose Their Supremacy Over Everything Else – They Will Drive A Bulldozer Over You To Win A Debate
If they had to, then they would sell their best friend to remain at the top of the food chain. They will not stop short of spreading rumors about family members or loved ones if they should make him popular. In fact, they would even stoop to spreading quite harmful stories if they made him more popular. Imagine a point in an argument with your parents, where you have been quarreling for quite a while. You can consciously feel that you should back off and that the next things to come out of your mouth will be inappropriate for the setting. Under normal circumstances, one either stops or they say the mean thing and then apologize. At least, they have the capability of realizing that they have made a mistake. For narcissists, this emotional damage does not matter. Under no circumstance can they ever bear to lose an argument or debate. So, they will bring you their entire barrage of inappropriate dialogues, mean things, rude behavior, as long as it ensures their own win. At the end of the day, that is all that a narcissist can bother genuinely caring about.