2. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship.
On the first date, the guy tells you point blank — he’s not looking for a relationship or anything serious. He moves on to chatting and fun conversation, looking into your eyes, and making you laugh.
And it feels good to laugh and hold his attention on you, so you somehow conveniently forget he ever told you that he doesn’t want what you want — a committed relationship.
Your wake-up call: You want to believe, “He doesn’t mean that about me.”
And the fantasy begins. You don’t take him at his word and this is one instance when you really should. He told you his dating agenda is casual, not serious.
No matter how much interest he shows, he doesn’t want the responsibility that comes with a lasting relationship. I’ve seen this happen with my clients over and over again. You’re wasting your time here. Let this fantasy go!
3. He only pays attention to you in crowds.
When you hang out with a group of friends, there’s one guy who always pays you a lot of attention when everyone is together. Yet, you never hear from him in between. Maybe he messages you on Facebook or likes one of your photos.
He might text on occasion. But, he doesn’t ask you out which confuses you.
Women often make excuses for a man like this. You tell yourself, “He’s shy” or “He’s busy.” These excuses satisfy you for a while as the fantasy grows and you put all your eggs in his basket.
You wonder about him and when he will finally start dating you on a regular basis. He must like you because every time you see him with the group, he’s practically all over you.
Your wake-up call: Once again, this is not true.
When a man is genuinely interested, he’ll definitely ask you out. Even a shy guy knows what to do if he truly wants to see you. A man with sincere romantic interest wants to see you alone, so if he’s not making the move, then he’s not that into you.
Determine his interest based on his effort to SEE you!
As a dating coach for over 13 years, I’ve found that women fall in love based on what a man says. But words are cheap and easy. His actions are the only thing that really matters. Does he call you? Does he ask you out? Does he spend time with you on a regular basis, at the very least once a week, in the beginning? If it’s anything less, you’re living the fantasy, and sadly deluding yourself.
Even if it turns out he really does like you and is too busy for dates — then he’s showing you that dating, love and you are NOT his priority. Again, that means he’s not the right guy for you unless you don’t mind not being his priority.
Following this empowering dating advice will help you to stop deluding yourself, hoping and wasting time on “relationships” that are merely an illusion and going nowhere.