You’ve fallen for a man who says he loves you but acts busy or disinterested half the time you call. You want to invest more of yourself, want to pour into the relationship, but whenever you give a little more, it feels like he’s pulling away. You put him first, but he barely invests. Now, do you realize that he treats you like an option?
You shouldn’t make him your priority when he treats you like an option, but sometimes you get so caught up in trying to win his affection you forget to honor your worth.
But in case you’ve forgotten—you are beautiful and valuable—and anyone who doesn’t treat you like that isn’t worthy of being in your life.
If you’ve found yourself entangled in half-committed relationships with a man who doesn’t bother to make you a priority, here are four things you need to keep in mind:
1. That’s not real love.
Real love is honor and respect. Real love is dedicating yourself to one person and making that person feel valuable. It’s not being with someone who stretches himself between other people all vying for his attention, picking and choosing which one he likes ‘most.’ It’s not about calculated moves and lists of ‘options’.
You shouldn’t be with someone who treats you like an option rather than the incredible, valuable person you are—that’s not love, that’s manipulation.
2. You shouldn’t have to fight for affection.
Love isn’t having to fight to be seen, to be heard, or to be cared about. It’s not trying to wins someone’s affection as he flips back and forth on whether or not he wants to be with you.
You shouldn’t (ever!) have to fight for someone to love you. Yes, relationships are hard sometimes, but basic care and concern are never something you should have to go to battle for. It should simply be given.
Related: 16 Signs Your Partner Sees You As An Option, Not A Priority
3. You’ll find someone else who truly values you.
Real love isn’t wishing your person could care more about you and then spending all your time trying to show them that you’re worthy. With the right person, he will already know your worth—you won’t have to do or say a thing.
With the right person, you’ll understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else. You’ll feel confident and secure, you’ll realize that real love is supportive and encouraging, rather than conflicted and rooted in insecurity.
4. Life is too short to settle for half-love.
Bottom line—life is too short to settle for anything that isn’t earth-shattering, ground-breaking, beautiful, and messy. No, you won’t find perfection (but that’s not what you’re looking for). And no, you won’t have an ‘ideal’ relationship all the time.
But when you’re in a real relationship rather than something surface and non-committal, you’ll finally understand how foolish you were to settle before.
Remember this: you shouldn’t make him your priority when he treats you like an option. You are worth infinitely more.
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