Stop wasting time, girl.
When it comes to dating, so many people would rather be with someone (anyone!) than be alone.
Too many women are willing to settle or are way too generous in seeing the “potential” in their man. The problem with that is this: If your man can’t see his own potential, he’s never going to meet it.
If you’re serious about meeting your soulmate, then you need to stop dating the wrong guys, and there will be soulmate signs along the way telling you who is NOT your “One”.
Your soulmate won’t be someone you’re settling for. He won’t need you to see his potential because he’ll already see it for himself.
To help you make space for your true soulmate, here are 11 sure-fire signs that he is not your “One” — so your true soulmate can show up in your life:
1. Many frowning emojis.
There’s a great episode of sex in the City when Carrie and Berger are on a break. Samantha tells her that the test of a good relationship is whether he makes her frown or smile.
When one of my clients, Robin, was in her last serious relationship, she decided to mark her calendar each day with a happy face emoji or a frown face emoji.
If spending time with her then-boyfriend, Jon, made her happy, she put a happy face emoji on that day. If it made her tired, frustrated, irritated, or just plain pissed off, she put a frown face.
When she looked over the emojis of the month, there were way more pissed off ones than happy ones, so she knew it was time to call it quits.
2. He brings out the crazy in you.
I’m not claiming that women can’t be a bit emotionally unstable on their own.
But, when sweet Jessica was dating Robert, she suddenly found herself doing all kinds of ridiculous things she would never have done before, like crying every time he left her place.
When we talked about what was going on, she became aware of the fact that Robert had one foot in the relationship and one foot out. He still wasn’t divorced and was emotionally unavailable. His uncertainty was literally driving Jessica crazy.
She realized that if he wasn’t willing to be all in, she’d have to be all out.
3. He rushes the relationship.
When a guy comes at you hot and heavy at the beginning of the relationship, he could be addicted to the “Honeymoon Stage.”
The natural, organic progression of a relationship shouldn’t occur at the speed of light! Sure, the beginning stage of a new relationship is fun and exciting, but moving too quickly usually causes the relationship to crash and burn in the end.
Slow and steady wins the race, so feel free to help keep the pace as you’re getting to know someone new.
4. I hear you, but…
If you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t listening to you or honoring you and your needs, then it is time to run for the hills.
When Raquel and Luis first began dating, she kept telling him time after time that she wasn’t ready to sleep with him.
First, she wanted them to focus on deepening their friendship, and second, she wanted it to be special. He went to her place after a night out with the guys, and she gave into him. After, she was so mad at him for not honoring her but was even more angry with herself for giving into him when she knew she wasn’t ready.
When we worked through this, she saw that this dishonoring pattern was consistent in other areas of his life, and she realized that he wasn’t her soulmate.
5. He’s always #1.
When you’re dating someone that expects you to completely devote yourself to them, they are not your soulmate!
Julia had been dating Rob for 3 months when suddenly he started to get very possessive of her. He didn’t want her spending any time without him. If she wanted to go out with her friends, he had to come. If she needed to go run errands, he made her pick him up to go with her. He even had the nerve to tell her that she couldn’t see her children when it wasn’t her custody day. So, if her daughter had a soccer game on an unscheduled day, she wasn’t allowed to go because that would take away from her spending time with Rob.