Being a mother comes naturally to most women. However, some women tend to misunderstand the idea of being loving mothers and instead become one of the worst types of moms.
What type of mother do you have? Loving? Caring? Indifferent? Or downright abusive? Whenever we imagine a mother, we tend to think of a woman who knows how to take care of her child, show them love and warmth, teach them values and make them responsible citizens in the future. But there are some worst types of moms who possess certain traits that make them horrible mothers. Not only this can affect their relationship with their child, but it can also hamper the proper mental and emotional growth of the child as well.
Types Of Worst Moms
Here are 10 worst types of moms that possess certain personalities and characteristics that make them incapable of taking care of their children.
1.The control freak
These types of moms tend to have an obsessive-compulsive personality that makes them control each and every aspect of their child’s life. They undermine their children through their controlling behavior and dictates how the child should live.
NYC-based psychiatrist Kathryn Smerling explains “That’s a mom who projects onto her daughter. She rewards her for being like her and punishes her for not being like her.” She adds that these control freak moms tend to live “their own lives through their daughters, and the daughter never has a chance to be a human being. She’s a puppet – a projection.”
2. The perfectionist
Like the control freak, the perfectionist mother is also one of the worst types of moms out there. Perfectionism refers to the desire of appearing or being perfect in all aspects. Although it is regarded as a positive trait, being a perfectionist can often lead to certain mental health issues. One 2011 study found that “maladaptive, unhealthy, or neurotic perfectionism, where anything less than perfect is unacceptable, can leave individuals vulnerable to depression.”
Family therapist and clinical psychologist Dr. Stephan Poulter explains that a perfectionist mom is “typically, an over-controlling, fearful and anxious woman for whom appearance is everything. Her children tend to be hypercritical of themselves, feeling inadequate and emotionally empty.”
3. The critic
These are the worst types of moms who find faults in everything their child does. These mothers never support or praise their children in their achievements. Rather they forcefully find faults in their child’s thoughts, behaviors and actions to reprimand them. When a child grows up around an overly critical mother, they develop low self esteem and lack self confidence. Moreover, they also lack responsibility and self-discipline as adults.
4. The best friend
It’s one thing to be friendly with your child, but trying to be their BFF is simply bad parenting. A child needs their parents to teach them values and show them how to navigate through their life. When a parent tries too hard to be a friend, they stop being a role model and tend to misguide their children. Gwen Dewar, Ph.D. writes “Research suggests that kids do better when their parents show affection and enforce age-appropriate limits on their children’s behavior.”
“She enjoys treating her children as equals in order to avoid the responsibility of setting boundaries,” adds Dr. Stephan Poulter.
5. The party girl
It’s one thing that you want to enjoy your life and party hard when you are single or even dating. However, when you become a mother, you need to act mature, be responsible, and behave in a certain way so that your children learn from you. But the party girl is too immature to realize that.
Psychiatrist Kathryn Smerling explains “She doesn’t want to grow up. She’s the good-time mom. She doesn’t really want to be a mom, but being a parent is to keep your kid on the right track. There’s nothing wrong with having a good time with your daughter, but if that’s the only connection you have with her, that’s a very shallow connection.”
6. The narcissist
These are mostly self-centered and selfish women who are incapable of being good mothers. They believe that the world revolves around them and their children are an extension of themselves. These worst types of moms are incapable of realizing that their children are separate individuals.
Dr Poulter adds “One of the most prevalent mothering styles, me-firsts are unable to view their children as separate individuals and tend to be self-absorbed and insecure. Their offspring will learn from an early age that their role is to make their mother shine.”
7. The pessimist
Pessimistic moms can also be the worst types of moms as they can spread their negativity across the family and affect the mental health and well being of the child. These women tend to suffer from severe stress and anxiety which makes them develop a negative view about life.
Smerling adds “A negative person is a depressed and angry person. She externalizes her problems onto someone else, making for a very painful mother-daughter relationship. It’s going to be a toxic relationship. A way to deal with a negative person is to stay away from her until she gets help herself.”
8. The workaholic
Workaholic mothers never have any time for their children as they are always busy with their work. Smerling says “To feel important to your mother, the mother has to be there – and it’s not just quantity of time, it’s quality. When you’re with your daughter, you have to be present. There has to be some way of connecting that makes your daughter feel heard and present and important.”
9. The unpredictable
These are the worst types of moms who tend to be rather temperamental. They have inflated views of themselves and are very unreliable and unstable. Clinical psychologist Dr. Stephan Poulter explains that these women tend to be overwhelmed by their emotions, mostly negative, and are usually overly emotional, angry, and anxious. The style of parenting solely depends on their mood. He adds that these moms create “problems, issues, and crises in her mind, through her emotions and relationships, and pass them on to her children.”
10. The abuser
Abuse is not only physical abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse, as well as neglect, are also abuse. Neglecting your child and not fulfilling your responsibilities towards them undoubtedly makes you one of the worst types of moms. When you withdraw love, affection, and care from your child, you not only abuse them but pave the way towards serious mental health issues in their adulthood. Unfortunately, plenty of mothers tend to be abusive towards their children and we need to stop it immediately.
There you have it!
These are the 10 worst types of moms out there. If you can identify yourself with even one of these personality traits, then it’s time for you to improve yourself and be the mother your child deserves.