When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, or emotional manipulator, then every day will feel like a punishment. No matter what you do, you will feel trapped, and mentally drained. That is the power of a toxic person. But this does not have to your permanent situation, you can do a few things that will help you to avoid their emotional manipulation.
Changing an emotional manipulator is close to impossible, but that does not mean you will have to go through hell everyday. There are some effective tricks that will help you avoid their toxicity, emotional manipulation and help you move on from them for good.
Here Are 10 Tips That Will Help You Avoid Emotional Manipulation
1. A manipulator says something and later denies it.
That’s a form of crazymaking and it’s very convenient for the manipulator because you can’t actually prove it without hard evidence. One way to counter that form of manipulation is to carry around a notebook with you or simply take notes on your phone when you feel a certain quote should be remembered.
That’s very intimidating for the manipulator and a defensive reaction (most likely another emotional manipulation attempt) is sure to follow. If you don’t want to be too suspicious, you can always let the manipulator know that you just feel ‘’forgetful’’ these days. Still, most emotional manipulators are pretty skillful and it won’t be hard for them to turn that around and make you feel bad in the end.
You must never underestimate such people’s talent for lying and turning things around! If you find yourself feeling obligated to notate certain people’s words for your own sake, you should ask yourself why are they still a part of your life.
2. The illusion that a manipulator is always willing to help you.
Offering or agreeing to help you goes hand in hand with complaining about how bothersome the task is. Don’t expect a direct approach, though. A heavy sigh, eyes rolling, an annoyed facial expression– expect anything but saying what they really think. The moment you try to blame them they don’t look like they are willing to help you, crazymaking kicks in once again.
A manipulator will often try to play the victim. Your goal in such situations is to draw them out to admit how they really feel about the situation.
3. Instilling guilt and playing the victim.
Those are the manipulator’s most loyal weapons and he’ll use them whenever there is an opportunity. As we saw earlier, an emotional manipulator will rarely say openly what they really think– their goals are accomplished entirely through emotional manipulation. Manipulators can take advantage of the victim role, too. By seeding the feeling of guilt, they could easily make you fight their battles and they won’t even be grateful.
It is likely that a quick act of showing how they didn’t want you to do anything in the first place is to follow. The trick here is to be careful who’s dirty work you are doing. Do they really deserve it?
4.Your criticism will most likely be turned against you.
There’s no point in being honest and pointing out stuff you don’t like about the manipulator. That’s their chance to turn it around! The question is how will it be this time. Don’t forget– every time another manipulation goes by, it’s sure to be used against you. One way the manipulator turns things around is blaming everything on a side factor and then making you feel bad for criticizing. Example: Your date is late and as soon as you point it out, she starts blaming her boss for holding her at work.