If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are a few examples of negative habits that are stealing your happiness away. Don’t let it drain you!
Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.― Abraham Lincoln
Just read that fine line by Lincoln once again. He got that straight and clear. Happiness is a choice and most importantly you can never find happiness if you keep thinking you need to find it. Well, sometimes you can, by doing away with certain habits which are holding you back from happiness. We can effectively condition ourselves to be happy, by de-conditioning ourselves of all these little thieves of joy.
Happiness is not guaranteed, but if you avoid doing these few unhelpful habits, you will close in on happiness. Below are some habits that make you miserable and keep you from happiness.
10 Negative Habits That Make You Miserable
1. Comparing yourself with other people
Are you highly intrigued by other people’s achievements? Don’t be. When you are too focused on other people’s achievements and joy, you tend to overlook your potentials. The first step to success is taking control over your own life and the second is to know that there is almost nothing that you cannot accomplish.
Just knowing and believing will not get you to your destination. Act on your ideas and goals. Refocus your attention to your deepest desires and work hard to achieve them. You will reach your heights only when you focus on building and improving yourself. Know that your timeline, goals, ideals don’t match with other people’s. So comparing yourself with others will only pull you back.
Read Pursuit of Happiness
2. Waiting for the right moment
The biggest mistake we do is thinking that the right moment is not yet here. The problem, however, is that there is no right moment. Every moment is what you make out of it. Don’t believe in the myth of ‘waiting for the right time’ to begin something worthwhile in life.
Make use of your potentials and turn the imperfect moment into something incredibly perfect for you. If you have to work on something, the earlier you work it out, the better for you. Put small yet consistent effort on a daily basis. Those will be your small steps to happiness.
3. Running after paychecks
Work definitely takes up a huge part of your life doesn’t equate work. Paychecks are not wildcards to the happy land. Therefore, choose a work that not only gives you a paycheck but also brings a smile on your face. When your interest backs your work up, you are more productive, more motivated and more contented with the work.
Trust me, the paycheck wouldn’t really matter anymore then. The bottom line: Don’t settle for a paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work that interests you.
4. Harboring negative feelings
Bitterness is cancer – it eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. – Maya Angelou
Each minute spent in bitterness is going to kill sixty seconds of your happiness. Negative feelings like resentment, jealousy, anger, and grudges will only hold you back. These feelings are meant to steal your happiness. Even though you might overthink and obsess over these feelings, but surprisingly they are of no good.
You can practice gratitude by directing your thoughts to good moments of your life, which you feel thankful for. Understand that the art of forgiveness can free you of these negative feelings that rule your mind.
5. Holding onto to worries and fears
Worries and fears take up much of your life’s essential time. When you look back on your life, you will notice that most of your worries and fears have never materialized – they are all unfounded. Instead, take the risk at this moment. We might lose or win, either way, you will learn something – if you succeed you learn risks lead to fulfillment and if you lose, you learn to get back up and try again and again.
Worries will hold you back from taking some major steps in your life. So that you don’t have to regret later, take the exact step which is holding you back.
6. Dwelling on the past
Much like clinging on to worries and fears, dwelling on past can make it hard for you to grab the upcoming opportunities. Especially do not let your past mistakes influence your decisions in the present.
If a past relationship didn’t work out, do not assume that your present relationship will also fail. This setback attitude will keep you from enjoying what is happening in the present. Something in the past might not have turned out well. Retrospect and review what needs to modified to make the same thing work out in the present.
7. Seeking temporary contentment
You can gain two types of contentment from life: one is temporary contentment, which is derived from acquiring materialistic possessions and achieving short term goals. The other one is enduring contentment which is acquired through the consistent effort to develop your mind and yourself.
Often in all the hurry of being busy in our lives, we forget the importance of the second type. When you are caught in lives fleeting moments, and frenzied by it, you go further away from the enduring sense of contentment which is achieved by the overall development and constant modification of the self. Only then can you have a purposeful life.
8. Trying to do everything at once
Change comes over a period of time and know that it starts with you. If you really want to bring about a change start today. Make one small difference and this will slowly expand its effect to be something significant.
Don’t be disheartened or back down on facing trivial failures. Keep doing small favours of genuine concerns to people around you and this will one day come back to you in excess.
9. Sticking to people who are toxic for you
There are some people who will breed the feelings of contempt in you. They will back-bitch about other people to you and significantly hamper your positive energy.
It is essential that you remove everyone from your life who has been hampering your zeal to live life. This includes people who are manipulative, abusive, liars, control freaks and energy vampires.
10. Over-focusing on physical attractiveness
Physical appearance is one of many aspects of attractiveness but it is not the pivotal point in having intimate feelings for a person. It’s akin to choosing a book by the cover and not by the contents of it. Never compare yourself to someone else based on looks and feel small about yourself.
You might have your personal preferences but obsessing too much on your own physical beauty and on the physical beauty of the person you like is not a good idea.
A person’s personality, attitude, kindness and inner beauty. Sometimes it’s their flaws, their scars that draw us in and anchors us to them for a lifetime.
These were some of the unhelpful habits that make you unhappy. So, if you’re wondering how to be happy, you need to avoid these at all costs!