Why Staying Friends With An Ex Is An Extremely Bad Idea Says Science

 / 

,
Why Staying Friends With An Ex Is An Extremely Bad Idea Says Science

Think twice before you make that date with your ex.

I have exes who I’m still friends with and exes I’m most certainly not friends with. I can’t say that I sway one way over the other with this issue.

I treasure one of my friend-exes and can’t see my life without him, while another of my friend exes … well, let’s just say if he disappeared from my life forever, I wouldn’t grieve.

I had an ex whom I tried to stay friends with, but when he disrespected — not just me, but all of his former flames — I had to let him go as a friend. Do I still look at his Facebook page? Sure. Not as often as I once did, but he’s part of the circulation when I’m checking in on various people.

Ending a relationship can be extremely difficult and if staying friends with your ex-makes it easier, is that really wrong?

Read 5 Things You Must Do When Leaving A Sociopath

“Wanting to be friends keeps you from feeling the full depth of the loss, softening the blow of the breakup,” says Nina Atwood, therapist and author of Temptations of the Single Girl. You might think that it’s a good idea to stay platonic with a former lover, but there are many challenges, such as the feelings of emotional attachment.

Atwood says, “You may feel that this person knows you better than anyone else. Even if you’re not sexually attracted, you may still want the emotional intimacy that you shared.”

And this kind of dependency can make you more vulnerable to getting hurt all over again once your ex-finds someone new — and they always find someone new. None of us enjoy the feeling that we’ve been replaced.

The transition from relationship to friendship can have all kinds of hidden dangers that can lead to more pain, according to relationship expert Lindsay Kriger. “Let’s be friends” may sound like a great idea, but it can be a lot harder to pull off in real time.

Read Narcissists And Psychopaths Love To Stay Friends With Their Exes

Kriger says, “What it doesn’t mean is ‘Let’s have a completely platonic relationship in which we ignore the feelings we had for one another, even the ones we still have.’”

OK, so staying real-time friends might not be such a great idea, but there’s probably not a problem staying Facebook friends. Right? Well no.

Kriger believes the most important thing to do once a relationship is over is to cut all ties and move on in order to allow yourself the chance to find happiness elsewhere. That means deleting his number, and yes, even blocking him on Facebook.

Juliana Breines, Ph.D. of Psychology Today draws a strong connection between Facebook stalking and increases in jealousy and anxiety.

Read 9 Signs of The Nice ‘Fuckboy’ You Should Stay Away From

Ultimately, every situation is specific to each relationship, just like my exes. With some, there’s no problem with staying friends, and others I needed to cut out of my life — and that includes as Facebook friends.

Psychologist Karen Sherman says that a period of separation is critical before rekindling the friendship. It doesn’t have to be long, but it’s important to let the romantic aspects of your connection die down a bit before jumping into something as friends.

That’s all great, but a pint of ice cream is probably your best option here.

Read How Many People You Are Destined to Fall In Love With Based On Your Zodiac


Written by Christine Schoenwald
Originally appeared on Yourtango.com
Why Staying Friends With An Ex Is An Extremely Bad Idea Says Science

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

Last Minute Gifts: 15 Ideas To Wow Them This Holiday Season!

Last Minute Gifts: Ideas To Wow Them This Holiday Season!

Alright, let’s face it – we’ve all been there. It’s the eleventh hour, and suddenly you realize a gift is due.

Don’t worry; we’ve all been there. For specifically this reason we’ve curated a lineup of 15 last minute gifts that are not only awesome but also guaranteed to make you look like a gifting genius!

Last minute gifts can be just as awesome and thoughtful as ones planned for months. But here’s the trick: don’t grab something random that’s not beneficial or exciting.

We’ve sorted through the chaos to bring you 15 gifts that are not just cool and thoughtful but also sure to wow your friends, family or partners. Because even quick gifts



Up Next

What Is Platonic Soulmate? The 8 Hallmarks Of Platonic Soulmate

What Is Platonic Soulmate? Hallmarks Of Platonic Soulmates

In the vast expanse of human relationships, there is a bond that defies the common narrative of soulmates found within the realms of romantic love. This bond is platonic, deeply rooted in the realm of the intellectual and the spiritual, transcending the physical and the romantic. But, what is platonic soulmate, really?

This form of connection is as enriching and significant as any love story written under the stars, yet it remains distinct in its essence and expression.

When we think of sou



Up Next

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Exploring The Complexities of Post-Breakup Relationships

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Expert Tips To Consider

Breaking up with someone you once loved and cared deeply for is never easy. It often leaves us feeling confused, hurt, and uncertain about the future. In the aftermath of a breakup, one question that frequently arises is, “Can you be friends with your ex?” 

It’s a topic that sparks curiosity, debate, and even skepticism. Let’s explore the complexities of maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner, examining both the potential benefits and challenges that come with this unique dynamic.

Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?

The short answer is yes! It’s possible to be friends with your



Up Next

Watch Out! These 4 Zodiac Signs Make The Worst Frenemies

Zodiac Signs Make The Worst Frenemies In Your Life

In today’s world, where finding a true friend can be as challenging as discovering water in a desert. Beware! These 4 zodiac signs make the worst frenemies!

Most of us have at least one worst zodiac frenemy – a relationship marked by lingering grudges. While many people don’t invest much in relationships, some simply can’t forget others’ mistakes.

Astrology offers insights into a person’s character through their h



Up Next

How To Help Your Friend With Depression

How To Help Your Friend With Depression: Nine Tips To Show That You Care

Is your friend depressed? Wondering about some practical ways to support your friend? Depression, a silent battle that affects millions, can cast a dark cloud over a person’s life. Let’s explore how to help your friend with depression.

What is depression?

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and low energy. It can impact daily life, relationships, and physical well-being. 

Symptoms<



Up Next

7 Things A Fake Friend Would Do: Exposing The Walking Red Flags

Things A Fake Friend Would Do: Exposing Seven Toxic Traits

Have you ever wondered if you’ve been hanging out with a genuine friend or someone who’s just putting on a facade? Wonder no more! We’ll reveal the 7 things a fake friend would do, helping you spot the signs of insincerity.

You know, those pals who seem sweet and supportive on the surface but don’t quite measure up when push comes to shove?

Well, fret not! We’re here to help you spot the signs of fake friends, so you can surround yourself with true companions who genuinely have your back.



Up Next

Unforgettable Friendships: 40+ Iconic Friendship Quotes From Beloved Films And Series

40+ Iconic Friendship Quotes From Beloved Films And Series

Are you ready to take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about some of the most iconic friendships in pop culture history? Whether you’re a fan of classic movies or binge-watch the latest TV shows, there’s no denying the power of a good friendship on screen. And that is exactly why these iconic friendship quotes are iconic. 

From the hilarious antics of Chandler and Joey on Friends to the heartwarming bond between Woody and Buzz in Toy Story, these dynamic duos and happy friendship day quotes have captured our hearts and made us laugh, cry, and everything in between.