Do you feel like you are in a different place in your life, compared to your friends? And do you get that persistent feeling that you are outgrowing your friends? It happens to the best of us.
With time and age, we all grow and change, and sometimes that means outgrowing the friendships you once held dear. The feeling of outgrowing your friends can be a bittersweet realization, filled with both nostalgia and the excitement of new beginnings.
If you’re wondering whether you’re going through this transformative process, look out for these eight signs of outgrowing a friendship.
Related: Making Adult Friends Is Hard: Here Are 40 Reasons Why
8 Possible Signs You Are Outgrowing Your Friends
1. Your friendship is stuck in the past.
Whenever you are hanging out with your friends, do you only talk about the old times? Are all your conversations just trips down memory lane? If the only thing you do is reminisce whenever you are together, then it’s very clear that it’s the past that’s holding you together.
Genuine friendships adapt and grow as time passes. Even though you may change individually, but you should also progress as friends. If you feel you’re not, then maybe you should think about moving forward. It’s great to look back on the good old days sometimes, but friendship needs more to keep going.
2. You avoid their calls and texts.
You still care for them, but what’s important to you has changed, and that happens. Outgrowing your friends can mean they no longer fit into your life the way they once did, and spending time and energy on them may not make sense anymore.
Back in the day, hanging out with them was different. But now, not so much. When you dodge their calls or turn down plans, ask yourself what’s really bugging you. Is it the hangout ideas or the people?
If it’s only what you do together that bugs you, maybe you guys can strike a deal. But if being around your friends doesn’t feel good anymore, it might be one of the signs of outgrowing a friendship.
3. You don’t like who you are around them.
This is one of the major signs you are outgrowing your friends.
You might have a friend who likes to hold on to how things were, and they expect you to act in the same way, or you fake your persona from back in the day just to keep them happy. Perhaps they pressure you to live like the old days when partying was your jam, all the while ignoring that your life and you have changed.
Hanging out with them could mean you start acting in ways that just doesn’t match up with who you are. If being honest and real would make them ditch you, then it’s not a true friendship. If they can’t accept you as you are, it’s probably time to move on.
4. You never feel emotionally supported when you’re with them.
Real friends are always there for you, whenever you are going through a bad time; no matter how tough it might be, having a strong support system can make you feel protected and safe.
However, one of the main reasons behind you outgrowing your friends is that you don’t feel that love and support anymore. If you feel like they are dragging you down instead of cheering for your wins, then maybe you’re better off without them.
Related: 55 Reasons Why Friendships End
5. You feel judged by them.
Being judged by people online is tough, but it’s even worse when it’s a good friend. When your friends never have your back, rather they make you feel small with their nasty comments aren’t your friends after all.
Maybe they feel bitter because you moved up in the world and left them behind. Maybe they’re jealous of you seeing how much you’ve transformed. Or it could be they’re just mired in negativity and can’t change their ways.
No matter what the reason is, you’ve got to know you’re worth more than that. You deserve better friends and you deserve better people in your life.
6. You complain about them to other people.
This is one of the major signs of outgrowing a friendship. Venting once in a while if you are upset with your friends is okay, but if you find yourself constantly complaining about them when you are with others, then that’s a red flag. Maybe it’s time for you to reconsider that friendship.
If being around them gives you nothing but annoyance, then maybe you need to have a chat with your mate and figure out if there’s a way to make it work.
But if you’ve given it all you’ve got, tried every trick in the book, and still feel like the friendship is dead, then letting go might just be the next step.
7. You feel emotionally drained after spending time with them.
Does being around your friend make you feel good, or does it zap your energy? After meeting them, do you feel tired, downcast, and emotionally exhausted? If you relate to this, then you’re probably outgrowing your friends; you’re just not connecting like you used to.
If dealing with your friend feels like managing a wild teen, and you’re always sorting out their chaotic life and choices, chances are they’ve not caught up with you in growing up.
You might think it’s on you to guide them, but frankly, it’s not. They’re adults and they should be able to take care of themselves. Friends should bring joy and laughter to your life, not uneasiness and exhaustion.
8. You can’t resolve fights anymore.
In any meaningful friendship, there will likely be an argument or a tough situation. These times test us as we try to understand our friend’s behavior and look at our own actions too. We’re then faced with the task of resolving the issue and making up.
However, sometimes settling a fight just isn’t possible for various reasons, maybe you can’t agree or excuse how your friend has acted; they also don’t seem interested in fixing things, or the problem might have dragged on for too long.
When you reach a point where both of you are unable to resolve your arguments and disagreements, or simply are not interested, then that’s one of the biggest signs of outgrowing a friendship.
Related: Friendship On The Rocks? 11 Warning Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You Anymore
If you notice all or even most of these signs, then the sad news is you are outgrowing your friends. But don’t be disheartened, because sometimes some things simply run their course, and forcing them to be like before will only lead to more bitterness and negativity.
So let them go, and forge your own path. You will have good friends again, and you’ll get to enjoy the privilege of having genuine friends in life. Trust me.
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