5 Ways To Know When It’s Time To Break Up With Someone


5 Ways To Know When It’s Time To Break Up With Someone

If you are reading this article, chances are there you are going through your fair share of ups and downs in your relationship. There can be many times when arguments and emotional differences can make you doubt your relationship. But, once the problems are bigger than your connection with your partner, then you should look for the signs to realize whether it’s time to break up or not.

Recognizing when it’s time to break up with someone is one of the hardest things to do. We get into relationships with so many hopes and dreams and, when they start to go awry, it’s hard for us to face the facts. As a result, we struggle to figure out when it’s time to break up with someone because we just don’t want to face it.

I am guessing all of your friends are telling you many reasons why you should be breaking up with your person but you think that they don’t know him the way you do so why should you listen?

Here are the 5 Signs it’s time to break up with your partner

I’m here to tell you that there are five concrete, universal signs that you should look for to know when it’s time to break up with someone. Listen and learn…

Time to break up
5 Ways To Know When It’s Time To Break Up With Someone

1. If they lie to you more than once.

Does your person lie to you? Do they lie to you over and over? If yes, then it might just be time to break up with them. We all tell lies. Sometimes little white lies prevent us from hurting someone else. Sometimes lies because we are embarrassed by something we did. Sometimes lies are unintentional.

The difference between this kind of lies and the kind of lies that show it’s time to break up with someone is their frequency.

Do find that you are continually catching your person in a lie?  Do they lie about why they came home late or why they can’t see you who they were hanging out with or whether they left the dishes in the sink?

Even worse, do you find they are lying to you over and over and over about the same subject, sometimes using different lies but often just some version of the one they used before?

People who lie in their relationships do so to protect themselves. They know that they are doing things that they shouldn’t be doing and they feel guilty about it, so they lie. They don’t want to get into a fight with you about the dishes in the sink, so they lie. They don’t want you to come along, so they lie.

And do they always lie again when they are caught in a lie? If you are finding that your person is lying to you over and over then it’s definitely time to break up with them.

Healthy relationships are built on trust and if you can’t trust your person you have no chance of being happy. Furthermore, a person who is lying to you over and over is not someone who loves and respects you the way you deserve to be loved and respected.

Finally, who wants to spend their whole life not believing a thing that their person is saying to them. It sounds like a recipe for disaster to me!

2. If they disappear.

Be honest. At the beginning of your relationship was your person always around and available? Did they text you all day long, call you late at night, always wanting to know what you were doing, what you were wearing, when they were going to see you next? And, do they still do that? Again, be honest.

A big sign that it’s time to break up with someone is when your person disappears. If they usually text you good morning and they stop, that’s a sign they may not be still into you. If they are AWOL for a few hours where normally they might be available, that’s a sign that you might not be able to trust them. If they say they will spend time with you but then have an excuse for why they were doing something else, how can you not wonder why they didn’t want to be with you.

Imagine if you had a friend who was consistently letting you down, not responding to your text messages, blowing off dates, disappearing when you needed them. Would you stay with a friend like that? Would you invest more time in someone who doesn’t have the respect for you and the time that you deserve? Of course, you wouldn’t. That friend would be sidelined immediately.

So, if you would let go of a friend who did that, why wouldn’t you let go of a person who was doing that to you? Having a lover doing it to you is even worse than a friend because they are supposed to be your person, they are supposed to be prioritizing you, they should love and respect you enough that they will be there when they say they would.

If you person keeps disappearing, stop making excuses for them and let them go.

Read: 3 Main Reasons Why Guys Ghost and How To Recover

3. If history keeps repeating itself.

Ok, we have covered lying and disappearing and the fact that if those things are done over and over it’s definitely time to break up with someone.

People fight, people, mistreat each other, people call each other bad names. People disappear and reappear without an excuse. People break up with each other and then they get back together. People watch ahead on the series that you were watching together.

Those things happen – we are only human and make mistakes all the time. That being said, if you find that you and your person are having the same fight over and over, then it might be time to end things.

If you find that you break up and get back together and then break up and get back together, that is definitely a sign that your relationship should be stopping at the break up next time.

If your person goes out with their ex and lies about it, over and over, then it’s definitely time to walk away. So, think about your relationship? Do the same things keep happening over and over with no change? Do you get promises that things will be different next time only to have them be the exact same? Do you find you are repeatedly fighting about the same stupid thing without any resolution?

If you said yes to any of those things, it is definitely a sign that it is time to break up with someone.

4. If they remind you of your ex.

Do you ever find yourself in a fight with your person and does it suddenly pop into your head that they are just like your ex? When your partner has another excuse for why he won’t be around, do you think back to all of the times that your ex used to do the same thing?

When you reach out for a hug only to be rebuffed, do you remember how your ex always had an excuse for why they couldn’t touch you?

Unless we do our work after a breakup, unless we take the time to determine what went wrong and resolve to not repeat the same mistakes, we tend to choose the same type of person over and over and over. And, as a result, we find ourselves in the same position over and over and over – in an unhappy relationship.

If you are seeing your ex in your current partner then it is definitely a sign that it is time to break up with them. After all, your ex is your ex for a reason. Do you want to waste your time repeating history or do you want to walk away now and find someone who couldn’t be more unlike your ex and who could potentially make you deliriously happy?

5. If your gut says it’s time.

This is the hardest sign to look out for. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this article. Our gut is always accurate! Always. And yet it is the thing that we tend to ignore more than anything. And that is why there are so many relationship coaches out there – to help us to see what we already know but aren’t willing to face.

Think about your previous relationships. Did you see a red flag with someone right away but choose to ignore it, hoping that you were wrong? Did your gut tell you that your person was lying to you but did you ignore it, wanting so badly to believe them? Did your gut tell you that things were not okay when their touch no longer made you happy?

I am guessing that, in retrospect, you are wishing that you had paid more attention to your gut and not wasted so much time chasing something that wasn’t meant to be.

If you are feeling, in your gut, that it is time to break up with someone, then it is time to break up with someone. My list will be very helpful for you to process this situation intellectually but it is the feeling that you get in your gut, the one that says run for the hills, that is really the indicator that it is time to break up with someone. So, listen to it!

Read: Was Breaking Up The Right Decision?

Knowing when it’s the time to break up with someone is something that we sometimes just don’t want to face.

We are so scared of being alone or not finding someone who can love us or hoping that things will change it makes us unable to face the very clear clues that the time has come to end the relationship. And so we stay and we suffer.

Keep an eye open for the signs, that they are lying or disappearing over and over and over. If they remind you of your ex or if your gut says to run. If you see those signs and you want to live happily ever, then it’s definitely time to walk away and find the right person for you!

You can do it! I promise!

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin
Know Break Up With Someone pin
5 Ways To Know When It’s Time To Break Up With Someone
  • Lack Of Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon To True Self
  • The Rise in Armchair Psychologists on Social Media
  • 30+ Inspiring Quotes About Forgiveness To Let Go Of The Painful Past
  • When You Are Your Own Abuser: 7 Ugly Signs Of Self Abuse That You Ignore
Up Next

Being Friends With Ex: 8 Rules That Won’t Complicate Things

Being Friends With Ex

Relationships don't always work out, and you might fall out of love with your partner, or you might just drift apart with time. If you part ways amicably, then there's no harm in staying friends with each other. However, if you choose to stay friends with ex, it's important to know a few rules about setting boundaries with them, so that things don't get confusing and complicated later.

Trying to be friends with an ex can be a slippery slope to navigate through, but it's surely not impossible. As long as you know how to set boundaries with your ex, you can continue to have a healthy rapport with them. Now the million-dollar question is how to set boundaries with an ex, and how to stay friends after a breakup. Let's find that out!


Up Next

5 Reasons Why Bad-Mouthing Your Ex Will Just Make Things Worse

Reasons Bad Mouthing Ex Will Just Make Things Worse

Bad-mouthing your ex won't help you in any way, it only keeps you clinging to the memories of the past. Here's why you shouldn't talk behind their backs and waste your energy.

After a break up, not bad-mouthing your ex can be next to impossible.

Whether you left or were left, the end of the relationship can lead to anger, bitterness and resentment.

And, try as we might, keeping those feelings to ourselves can be difficult, sometimes even impossible.

I am here to tell you, from personal experience and the experience of my clients, that bad-mouthing your ex will only make things worse,

Up Next

5 Reasons You Still Miss Your Ex After A Year

Reasons You Still Miss Your Ex After A Year

Walking away from a relationship that you thought would be meaningful is always difficult. Even after you’ve gone through all the stages of grief, there's still longing. But why it is hard to let go? Why do you miss your ex even after years of separating? Here're the reasons why.

You are not alone if you still miss your ex after a year. I know you might be judging yourself because you do but DON’T.

Societal pressure makes us believe that it’s not okay to mourn. We are expected to get over the hurt and move on. And if we can’t, it makes us feel bad about ourselves. And feeling bad about ourselves will only hinder forward progress.

Understanding why you still miss your ex after a year will help you understand and hopefully forgive yourself so that you can move forward and find the love

Up Next

5 Ways To Survive After Your Boyfriend Cheated

Ways To Survive After Boyfriend Cheated

All relationships face their own hurdles and challenges, but the most challenging is to move on after being cheated on. Cheating in relationships is the hardest to recover, but accepting the reality can be the first step if you want to survive infidelity and get your life back on track. Here're some tips on how to heal after being cheated on.

Are you reeling from the discovery that your boyfriend cheated and wondering how you will ever survive the pain that you are feeling? Do you just want to curl up in a little ball and disappear?

I am so sorry if you are feeling this way. I totally get it – I have been there, as have many, many women before you. Having your boyfriend cheat on you, and the ensuing heartbreak, is one of the worst things you can go through and it feels like it will never end.


Up Next

Why It’s So Hard To Move On From Some Breakups: 10 Reasons

Hard To Move On From Breakups

It can be hard to move on from a breakup, especially if you were deeply in love with them. However, moving on from a breakup is necessary for you to be happy again, and most importantly, feel like yourself again. But the question is why is it hard to move on from a breakup, and how to move on from a breakup?

Key Points:

  • There is no exact timeframe for healing from a breakup, which can sometimes be the toughest part of the experience.
  • Someone may have difficulty moving on if a part of them is holding onto hope that they will get back together with their ex.
  • When grieving the loss of a relationship, we often assume that avoiding painful emotions will bring us relief when the opposite is true.