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5 Ways To Help A Depressed Friend Who Is Going Through A Breakup

Help Depressed Friend

The agony and emotional pain after a breakup are something that may not get healed in a flash, but friendship can surely help with recovering from the painful process. Here’s a list of ideas on how to help a depressed friend through a breakup.

Good for you for trying to figure out how to help a friend who is depressed after a breakup. The second worst thing in the world, after getting depressed over our own, is watching a friend suffer through a breakup. We have been there and we know how much it hurts and our hearts go out to them.

What we don’t always know is what is the best way to help a friend who is depressed after a breakup. The path to breakup recovery is full of minefields and, as a friend, you want to help them through it and not make things worse.

To that end, here are ways to help a friend who is depressed after a break up, ways that will get them through these dark times quicker. And not leading to you ending up with you In the dog house for your efforts.

Here are the ways you can help a depressed friend who is going through a breakup

Ways to Help a Depressed Friend
Ways to Help a Depressed Friend

1. Consider what would you want…

When you have a friend who is depressed after a breakup, sometimes you feel helpless as to how to help. One thing I would suggest is asking yourself what you would want.

I remember when my 13-year-old daughter’s best friend had a terrible breakup. My 13 year old had never had a boyfriend but the first thing that she told her friend to do was to get some ice cream.

When she told me that, I knew that that was probably the first thing I would tell a friend as well but I wondered how she knew, considering she had never had her heartbroken.

‘That’s what I would want if I was feeling sad,’ she said. Brilliant. So, think about what you would want if you were in the same place. I know that I would want to cry for a bit and then go out for a drink (or 5) with friends and rag on him and then go to the movies.

I would eat Pad Thai and French fries and block him on my phone. I would suggest all of those things to my friend and see what stuck.

2. …but ask them what they want too.

I know that above I suggested doing things for your friend that you would want to be done to you but sometimes what we would want just isn’t helpful at all. As a result, your friend could actually feel worse, being forced to do the things that would make YOU feel better.

So ask your friend what they need from you during these dark times. Do they want you around or do they want you to go home? Do they want you to help them make a list of how horrible their ex is or do they want to reminisce about how wonderful things were in the beginning? Do they want pizza or ice cream? Knowing what they want is the best way that we can help a friend in distress.

Of course, it’s often hard to see what would work when we are in such a dark place so your friend might say they don’t know what they want. If that happens, go back to what you would want and see if any of those things appeal. You are friends, after all, so they just might.

Read: The Kind Of Friend You Need Based On Your Zodiac Sign

3. Give them space.

Our tendency, when someone we love is hurting, is to hover over them, ready to take care of them. For women, especially, the inclination to make someone stop hurting is intense.

Unfortunately, many people err on the side of too much. They hover, waiting to do something that their person might want. They insist on sleeping over or staying for dinner or they do dishes or laundry or walk the dog, all in the attempt to help their person.

And, often, that just makes their person sadder. So, pay attention to the signs. Yes, we like to have people around when we are in a dark place but if you see any signs that you are being annoyed, act on them. Make yourself scarce.

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Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.View Author posts