10 Valuable Life Lessons From My Old Journals

There’s no better way to get to know someone than by reading their journals (not that I’d know, of course!), so to get to know me better, here’s your sneak-peek at the top 10 most valuable life lessons I’ve learned from re-reading my old journals:




Three years ago, I took a psychology class that required I keep a daily journal.  It wasn’t long before I became hooked on journaling, and I spent the next year-and-a-half releasing my feelings through writing in a series of journals.  Here are the most valuable lessons I’ve discovered by re-reading my old journals.

1. Being Hard On Yourself Will Get You Nowhere

As a second-year college student, I was incredibly harsh on myself.  My first journal, in particular, was filled with self-deprecation and put-downs because I hadn’t yet learned how to love myself.



Those disparaging words caused me to slip further into allowing negative thoughts to dictate my self-worth, despite the fact that I was enough all along.

Slowly learn to give yourself the grace you deserve.  You are inherently worthy, and your perceived flaws and mistakes will never diminish your value.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Read How You Screw Your Own Happiness, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type




2. Effective Leadership Is Not About You

When I first began journaling, I was struggling in my very first leadership position.  I strove to be the type of leader who would command respect from my teammates, the leader who was simultaneously kind-hearted and firm.

Instead, I became caught up in my desire to be the sole leader on the team.  I made decisions I regret, and they led my teammates to lose respect for me and question my leadership abilities.

A true leader leads in the service of others, not for recognition or personal gain. Listening to others rather than simply hearing them and dedicating your time to meeting their needs will establish you as a caring, respected leader.

3. Perfectionism Is (Mostly) Overrated

A disturbingly high amount of my journal entries concerned my constant, raging perfectionism.  I wrongly believed that striving for perfection would serve me well in all facets of my life, but I quickly discovered that complete perfection is unattainable, and always falling short of impossible expectations could easily ruin my already-wavering self-esteem.

Despite the shortcomings of my all-consuming focus on perfection, I am still a “reforming perfectionist.”  Perfectionism has served me well in many aspects of my life, from my concern with timeliness to my experience with digital magazine editing. However, I am now able to recognize that the downsides of perfectionism far outweigh the benefits — and work towards change.

Perfectionism is an alluring trap, but aiming for an unreachable standard of perfection will only leave you unhappy, anxiously questioning your abilities.  Strive to do your absolute best, and recognize when perfectionism is encroaching on your life. This is another most important life lessons – the sooner you learn, the better your life will be.




Read The Perfectionist’s Trap: How Perfectionism Robs Us Of Our Humanity

4. Finding Community Will Free You

It was nearly impossible to express the sheer joy and shock I felt after a chance encounter at a conference led me to another young woman with mild cerebral palsy.  At the time, I was suffocating under layers of shame about my disability, resistant to disclosing, and wrongly convinced that I was completely alone in my struggles.

That moment was the first time in my life that I felt completely free to be myself.  I spoke openly about my medical history to a complete stranger, and in return, I received validation that someday, I would come to embrace myself, disability and all.  That day, I discovered I am never alone, and now, I know she was right: I have come to embrace my disability, and I am finally free.

So, one of the most valuable life lessons is that you will feel alone and misunderstand in your struggles, but you are never as alone as you feel.  There is always someone who will understand you, and once you find others with similar experiences and foster a community, you will finally feel free.

5. It’s Okay To Ask For Help

In the pages of my journals, I detailed a long-held resistance to asking for help, from wavering over seeking counseling for my anxiety to agonizing about attending office hours for help on papers and projects.  I viewed asking for any type of help as a sign of weakness, a detriment to my strength, capability, and independence.

Some People Aren’t Good At Asking For Help

Once I swallowed my pride and learned to accept help, I discovered the key to becoming my best self.  Although asking for help is still a challenge for me, I am more willing to seek out assistance from others because I know that no one can flourish alone.

Asking for help never reflects poorly on you, and it exemplifies more strength than charging ahead on your own.  Once you learn to seek out help in the face of difficulty, you will find yourself blossoming in ways you never could on your own.




Read How To Ask For Help? 5 Tips To Make Requests SMART

6. Battling Mental Illness Is Never A Cause For Shame

Until my senior year of college, I confined my struggles with anxiety, depression, and disordered eating to the privacy of my journals.  I worried that if anyone discovered that I was battling mental illness, they would constantly view me through a lens tainted by derision and incapability.

When a severe panic attack prompted me to disclose my mental illness to my friends, I discovered a world of kindness, care, and acceptance I never could have imagined.  In turn, I discovered that many of my friends battled mental illness as well, which drew us closer and strengthened our bonds.

When Your Mental Health Isn’t In The Best State

The stigma surrounding mental illness is powerful, and the shame you feel about your mental health may be consuming, but it is no match for the kindness and understanding you will receive when you share your experiences with mental illness.  You will discover that there is no shame in being ill and realize just how many people struggle alongside you.

Read 50+ Best Badass Quotes To Unlock Your Fearless Side




7. Don’t Rule Any Career Paths Out Completely

The class that required that I journal was on helping relationships, and pages upon pages of my first journal contained pure disbelief that I could ever pursue a “helping profession.”  As a shy aspiring attorney in a sea of people-oriented future psychologists, I constantly felt that my classmates were significantly better-suited than I to helping others navigate their problems.

Now, three years later, I no longer believe that I am incapable of pursuing a helping profession.  In my 10 months as a respite care worker, I have had to listen carefully, show unconditional empathy, and exercise every skill I honed three years before.  I unexpectedly fell into a helping profession, and it’s revealed that I should never rule out any career.

Never limit your career possibilities based on your negatively-tinted perceptions of your skills and abilities.  You could find your career trajectory branching out in an unexpected, promising direction, as long as you believe that you are just as capable as your peers.

Read What Is The Best Job For You? Take This Optical Illusion Quiz To Find Out

8. There’s More To Life Than Accolades and Recognition

Throughout my time journaling, I had a singular goal, a pervasive obsession that nearly tore me apart: Graduating from college Summa Cum Laude and with University Honors in just three years.  The amount of space I devoted to recounting my fears that my ultimate goal would never come to fruition is absolutely staggering.  My worth was solely tied to academic recognition, and I could never seem to fully untie that knot.

Nearly two years ago, I graduated Summa Cum Laude and with University Honors after just three years of college, and now, I can definitely say that it wasn’t worth the stress and strife I experienced.  The joy I experienced upon meeting my goal lasted mere seconds, and in the years since, I have never defined myself by the honors I received or by my early graduation.



Recognition may make you feel powerful, competent, and worthy, but tying your self-worth exclusively to accolades will destroy your self-esteem.  Employers won’t care whether your GPA is a 3.5 or a 3.85, and neither should you, because obsessing over recognition from others will shatter you.  You worth should come from within, not from external validation that you are intelligent and capable.

9. Vulnerability Is Terrifyingly Beautiful

When I began journaling, I was terrified of revealing emotion, daunted by the prospect of my own vulnerability.  My journal held my sadness, my anger, my mistakes, and my imperfections so that I would never need to tell another soul that my life was far removed from the bubble of perfection in which I attempted to ensconce myself.

Gradually, I learned to open up about my true feelings, my problems, and my fears.  My vulnerability allowed me to see a tremendous amount of beauty in others, a sense of kindness and care that would have escaped me completely had I not spoken my truth.

Vulnerability is a terrifying, beautiful dichotomy, but you will never see the beauty in revealing your true feelings if you are unwilling to confront the terror.  Slowly learn to dismantle your walls, and you will reap the rewards of empathy, connection, and freedom.

Read How To Find Strength Through Vulnerability In A Relationship

10. Believing In Your Abilities Will Take You Further Than You Know

My love of journaling transformed into a passion for writing, and before long, my goal was to become a published writer.  However, I constantly feared that publication was little more than an unreachable pipe dream, and I had nagging doubts about my writing abilities.


Believe In Yourself

Nine months after I first decided to pursue publication, my writing was published — on the very first attempt.  Today, I’ve had writing published both online and in print, authored viral articles, and become an editor for an online magazine.  Had I listened to my initial doubts about my writing abilities or given up at the first indication of rejection, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today.  My confidence in my abilities has flourished because I have never stopped believing in myself.

You may find yourself doubting your abilities, but recognizing your true talents will help forge a stronger sense of self-belief.  If you believe you can accomplish your goals, you will discover that you can achieve more than you have ever imagined. This is the last and one of the best life lessons!

What are your life lessons from journaling?
Leave a comment below.

Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.




Written by: Kelly Douglas
Originally appeared on: The Psyched Writer
Republished with permission
Valuable Life Lessons From My Old Journals pin


Published On:

Last updated on:

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On April 21, 2025, the world bid farewell to the spiritual giant, the 266th pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. He passed away at the age of 88, leaving behind not just a legacy, but a voice that called out for mercy, championed the forgotten, and reminded us all of our shared humanity throughout his 12-year papacy.

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There are some special stories that gently wrap itself around your heart, that’s exactly what Netflix’s When Life Gives You Tangerines did. 

Set in the quiet beauty of 1950s Jeju Island, this slice-of-life romance drew us in not just with its tender love story and rich visuals, but with the quiet struggles of everyday life and wisdom threaded through every episode.

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IU (Lee Ji-

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Well-written memoirs often share universal truths that connect with readers on a deeper level.

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Learning about others’ universal truths can help you find our own way.

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Let’s learn how every connection is woven into the fabric of our existence by fate, shaping our journey, teaching us lessons, and guiding us toward growth.

Read More Here: 6 Therapeutic Japanese Words With Deep Meaning

Learn The Yuanfen Meaning…

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10 Valuable Life Lessons From My Old Journals

Written By:

There’s no better way to get to know someone than by reading their journals (not that I’d know, of course!), so to get to know me better, here’s your sneak-peek at the top 10 most valuable life lessons I’ve learned from re-reading my old journals:




Three years ago, I took a psychology class that required I keep a daily journal.  It wasn’t long before I became hooked on journaling, and I spent the next year-and-a-half releasing my feelings through writing in a series of journals.  Here are the most valuable lessons I’ve discovered by re-reading my old journals.

1. Being Hard On Yourself Will Get You Nowhere

As a second-year college student, I was incredibly harsh on myself.  My first journal, in particular, was filled with self-deprecation and put-downs because I hadn’t yet learned how to love myself.



Those disparaging words caused me to slip further into allowing negative thoughts to dictate my self-worth, despite the fact that I was enough all along.

Slowly learn to give yourself the grace you deserve.  You are inherently worthy, and your perceived flaws and mistakes will never diminish your value.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Read How You Screw Your Own Happiness, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type




2. Effective Leadership Is Not About You

When I first began journaling, I was struggling in my very first leadership position.  I strove to be the type of leader who would command respect from my teammates, the leader who was simultaneously kind-hearted and firm.

Instead, I became caught up in my desire to be the sole leader on the team.  I made decisions I regret, and they led my teammates to lose respect for me and question my leadership abilities.

A true leader leads in the service of others, not for recognition or personal gain. Listening to others rather than simply hearing them and dedicating your time to meeting their needs will establish you as a caring, respected leader.

3. Perfectionism Is (Mostly) Overrated

A disturbingly high amount of my journal entries concerned my constant, raging perfectionism.  I wrongly believed that striving for perfection would serve me well in all facets of my life, but I quickly discovered that complete perfection is unattainable, and always falling short of impossible expectations could easily ruin my already-wavering self-esteem.

Despite the shortcomings of my all-consuming focus on perfection, I am still a “reforming perfectionist.”  Perfectionism has served me well in many aspects of my life, from my concern with timeliness to my experience with digital magazine editing. However, I am now able to recognize that the downsides of perfectionism far outweigh the benefits — and work towards change.

Perfectionism is an alluring trap, but aiming for an unreachable standard of perfection will only leave you unhappy, anxiously questioning your abilities.  Strive to do your absolute best, and recognize when perfectionism is encroaching on your life. This is another most important life lessons – the sooner you learn, the better your life will be.




Read The Perfectionist’s Trap: How Perfectionism Robs Us Of Our Humanity

4. Finding Community Will Free You

It was nearly impossible to express the sheer joy and shock I felt after a chance encounter at a conference led me to another young woman with mild cerebral palsy.  At the time, I was suffocating under layers of shame about my disability, resistant to disclosing, and wrongly convinced that I was completely alone in my struggles.

That moment was the first time in my life that I felt completely free to be myself.  I spoke openly about my medical history to a complete stranger, and in return, I received validation that someday, I would come to embrace myself, disability and all.  That day, I discovered I am never alone, and now, I know she was right: I have come to embrace my disability, and I am finally free.

So, one of the most valuable life lessons is that you will feel alone and misunderstand in your struggles, but you are never as alone as you feel.  There is always someone who will understand you, and once you find others with similar experiences and foster a community, you will finally feel free.

5. It’s Okay To Ask For Help

In the pages of my journals, I detailed a long-held resistance to asking for help, from wavering over seeking counseling for my anxiety to agonizing about attending office hours for help on papers and projects.  I viewed asking for any type of help as a sign of weakness, a detriment to my strength, capability, and independence.

Some People Aren’t Good At Asking For Help

Once I swallowed my pride and learned to accept help, I discovered the key to becoming my best self.  Although asking for help is still a challenge for me, I am more willing to seek out assistance from others because I know that no one can flourish alone.

Asking for help never reflects poorly on you, and it exemplifies more strength than charging ahead on your own.  Once you learn to seek out help in the face of difficulty, you will find yourself blossoming in ways you never could on your own.




Read How To Ask For Help? 5 Tips To Make Requests SMART

6. Battling Mental Illness Is Never A Cause For Shame

Until my senior year of college, I confined my struggles with anxiety, depression, and disordered eating to the privacy of my journals.  I worried that if anyone discovered that I was battling mental illness, they would constantly view me through a lens tainted by derision and incapability.

When a severe panic attack prompted me to disclose my mental illness to my friends, I discovered a world of kindness, care, and acceptance I never could have imagined.  In turn, I discovered that many of my friends battled mental illness as well, which drew us closer and strengthened our bonds.

When Your Mental Health Isn’t In The Best State

The stigma surrounding mental illness is powerful, and the shame you feel about your mental health may be consuming, but it is no match for the kindness and understanding you will receive when you share your experiences with mental illness.  You will discover that there is no shame in being ill and realize just how many people struggle alongside you.

Read 50+ Best Badass Quotes To Unlock Your Fearless Side




7. Don’t Rule Any Career Paths Out Completely

The class that required that I journal was on helping relationships, and pages upon pages of my first journal contained pure disbelief that I could ever pursue a “helping profession.”  As a shy aspiring attorney in a sea of people-oriented future psychologists, I constantly felt that my classmates were significantly better-suited than I to helping others navigate their problems.

Now, three years later, I no longer believe that I am incapable of pursuing a helping profession.  In my 10 months as a respite care worker, I have had to listen carefully, show unconditional empathy, and exercise every skill I honed three years before.  I unexpectedly fell into a helping profession, and it’s revealed that I should never rule out any career.

Never limit your career possibilities based on your negatively-tinted perceptions of your skills and abilities.  You could find your career trajectory branching out in an unexpected, promising direction, as long as you believe that you are just as capable as your peers.

Read What Is The Best Job For You? Take This Optical Illusion Quiz To Find Out

8. There’s More To Life Than Accolades and Recognition

Throughout my time journaling, I had a singular goal, a pervasive obsession that nearly tore me apart: Graduating from college Summa Cum Laude and with University Honors in just three years.  The amount of space I devoted to recounting my fears that my ultimate goal would never come to fruition is absolutely staggering.  My worth was solely tied to academic recognition, and I could never seem to fully untie that knot.

Nearly two years ago, I graduated Summa Cum Laude and with University Honors after just three years of college, and now, I can definitely say that it wasn’t worth the stress and strife I experienced.  The joy I experienced upon meeting my goal lasted mere seconds, and in the years since, I have never defined myself by the honors I received or by my early graduation.



Recognition may make you feel powerful, competent, and worthy, but tying your self-worth exclusively to accolades will destroy your self-esteem.  Employers won’t care whether your GPA is a 3.5 or a 3.85, and neither should you, because obsessing over recognition from others will shatter you.  You worth should come from within, not from external validation that you are intelligent and capable.

9. Vulnerability Is Terrifyingly Beautiful

When I began journaling, I was terrified of revealing emotion, daunted by the prospect of my own vulnerability.  My journal held my sadness, my anger, my mistakes, and my imperfections so that I would never need to tell another soul that my life was far removed from the bubble of perfection in which I attempted to ensconce myself.

Gradually, I learned to open up about my true feelings, my problems, and my fears.  My vulnerability allowed me to see a tremendous amount of beauty in others, a sense of kindness and care that would have escaped me completely had I not spoken my truth.

Vulnerability is a terrifying, beautiful dichotomy, but you will never see the beauty in revealing your true feelings if you are unwilling to confront the terror.  Slowly learn to dismantle your walls, and you will reap the rewards of empathy, connection, and freedom.

Read How To Find Strength Through Vulnerability In A Relationship

10. Believing In Your Abilities Will Take You Further Than You Know

My love of journaling transformed into a passion for writing, and before long, my goal was to become a published writer.  However, I constantly feared that publication was little more than an unreachable pipe dream, and I had nagging doubts about my writing abilities.


Believe In Yourself

Nine months after I first decided to pursue publication, my writing was published — on the very first attempt.  Today, I’ve had writing published both online and in print, authored viral articles, and become an editor for an online magazine.  Had I listened to my initial doubts about my writing abilities or given up at the first indication of rejection, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today.  My confidence in my abilities has flourished because I have never stopped believing in myself.

You may find yourself doubting your abilities, but recognizing your true talents will help forge a stronger sense of self-belief.  If you believe you can accomplish your goals, you will discover that you can achieve more than you have ever imagined. This is the last and one of the best life lessons!

What are your life lessons from journaling?
Leave a comment below.

Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.




Written by: Kelly Douglas
Originally appeared on: The Psyched Writer
Republished with permission
Valuable Life Lessons From My Old Journals pin


Published On:

Last updated on:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

He Spoke, We Listened: 14 Pope Francis Quotes On Love, Mercy, And Faith

14 Pope Francis Quotes On Love, Mercy, And Faith

Pope Francis didn’t just speak from a pulpit, he spoke from the heart, comforting the poor, his words always struck a chord. As we remember him, we turn to 15 of the most powerful Pope Francis quotes on life, that are beacons of love, mercy, and faith!

On April 21, 2025, the world bid farewell to the spiritual giant, the 266th pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. He passed away at the age of 88, leaving behind not just a legacy, but a voice that called out for mercy, championed the forgotten, and reminded us all of our shared humanity throughout his 12-year papacy.

Up Next

17 ‘When Life Gives You Tangerines’ Quotes That’ll Leave You Reflecting

17 Memorable When Life Gives You Tangerines Kdrama Quotes

There are some special stories that gently wrap itself around your heart, that’s exactly what Netflix’s When Life Gives You Tangerines did. 

Set in the quiet beauty of 1950s Jeju Island, this slice-of-life romance drew us in not just with its tender love story and rich visuals, but with the quiet struggles of everyday life and wisdom threaded through every episode.

when life gives you tangerines kdrama quotes

IU (Lee Ji-

Up Next

15 Profound Universal Truths To Understand The Human Condition

15 Profound Universal Truths to Understand the Human Condition

Have you ever noticed how some truths about life just hit different? These universal truths about the human condition are the kind that stick with you long after you’ve heard them.

KEY POINTS

Well-written memoirs often share universal truths that connect with readers on a deeper level.

Universal truths are many, and each of us can have our own unique set.

Learning about others’ universal truths can help you find our own way.

In my memoir writing workshops, I always emphasize the importance of each story having a universal truth. While many are w

Up Next

7 Lessons To Learn From Yuanfen: The Fated Connections In Life

Amazing Lessons From Yuanfen Buddhism Philosophy

We often cross paths in life with people in the most unexpected ways, some stay for a lifetime, while others leave after a fleeting moment. In Buddhism and Chinese philosophy, the concept of yuanfen describes these predestined relationships and encounters.

Let’s learn how every connection is woven into the fabric of our existence by fate, shaping our journey, teaching us lessons, and guiding us toward growth.

Read More Here: 6 Therapeutic Japanese Words With Deep Meaning

Learn The Yuanfen Meaning…

Up Next

The Viral ‘Anglerfish’ That’s Making People Emotional – How It Left A Powerful Message Behind

Viral Anglerfish That Left A Strong, Heart Touching Message

Deep beneath the surface of the ocean, where sunlight is a distant memory and the pressure builds up enormously, the anglerfish is just a strange creature. But wait, why are we getting bombarded with ‘black sea devil anglerfish’ on TikTok? To be fair, I also wouldn’t be crying about this until I saw the Pixar edit of the movie.

This unique specimen uses a special organ that glows to light up the ocean. It also uses a special, terrifying

Up Next

8 Timeless Life Lessons ‘Gilmore Girls’ Taught Us

Life Lessons from ‘Gilmore Girls’ That Are Relevant Even Today!

Gilmore Girls has been my favorite show for as long as I can remember. From the moment I first watched it in high school, I was hooked. The charm of Stars Hollow, the witty banter, and the lovable characters quickly became a part of my daily life. Whether I’m watching on my own or rewatching with friends, it’s always a comfort. But over the years, I’ve realized that Gilmore Girls is more than just a show I turn to for comfort—it’s taught me life lessons that have stuck with me in ways I didn’t expect.

As I’ve watched it over and over, I’ve noticed how much the series has shaped the way I view relationships, work, and even myself. The lessons in Gilmore Girls aren’t always obvious, but they’re there—woven into the characters’ journeys and everyday moments.

Here are 8 timeless life lessons that Gilmore Girl

Up Next

7 Secrets to Stop Taking Everything Personally

How to Stop Taking Everything Personally in Simple Ways

Ever had a friend leave your text on read but somehow find the time to post a selfie? Or maybe someone didn’t laugh at your joke, and now you’re questioning your entire personality? Yep, we’ve all been there. It’s ridiculously easy to take things personally, even when deep down, we know the world doesn’t revolve around us (unfortunately).

Figuring out how to stop taking everything personally can feel like an uphill battle, especially when someone’s actions or words leave you feeling hurt or confused. But here’s the thing—most of the time, people’s actions have nothing to do with you. Your friend might just be overwhelmed, that unread message isn’t a personal attack, and maybe—just maybe—your joke wasn’t that bad.

Learning to let go of these thoughts isn’t just good for your mood; it protects your confi