We Fall In Love With 3 People In Our Lifetime
“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” ~ Unknown
Usually, a person falls in love with 3 people in his/her lifetime before they know what love really means.
The reason for loving these three different types of people is also very different. We all need these three types of love to teach us distinct lessons in life.
First love: The Love that Looks Right
The first love usually happens when we are still in high school or sometimes even younger. This love is somewhat similar to what we have read as kids. It is the idealistic love.
We want to do it for the sake of society, for our families, mostly while trying to overcome peer pressure. We tend to believe this love will last forever and even if it doesn’t feel the most right thing we want to do it. We are ready to ignore our personal truths, but all we want is to make it work somehow because our heart believes that this is what love is.
This type of love feels perfect, emotionally overwhelming and all-consuming. We are ready to sacrifice everything to make it work because we are confident of its credibility. Why would we want to think of others when we are in love? That’s because this type of love makes us care more about how people look at us than how we feel about ourselves.
It perfectly fits into the imagination that we have about love.
Do you still remember your first love? Read The Impact of First Love on Your Life and Future Relationships
The second love: The Hard Love
The second love can be called hard love, the love that teaches us tough lessons the hard way.
Going through this loved one understands who they are and the need for love in one’s life. It brings hurt as most of the people are manipulated and lied to by their lovers. In this type of love, one encounters pain.
We still have so many illusions that need to be broken. When think we have learned a great deal and are making better choices, but in truth, we still opt from the need to learn the bitter truths of life. Despite the pain, we want to work it as long as possible. Even if one relationship gets over, we keep getting back to the same types of relationships and make the same choices. Every time we think things would be different this time, but the end is worse than before.
Making the wrong choices leads us to wrong people. We end up getting into unbalanced relationships. Relationships which are unhealthy. And also with narcissists as we still haven’t developed the power of judgment that helps us distinguish between the right and wrong people. We get subjected to mental, physical and emotional abuse, but still, we want to stick to such relationships. There are such extreme highs and lows that one feels as if they are riding on an emotional roller coaster. That prevents us from quitting because we are always ready to face the lows in the hope of the highs.
When in this type of love, trying to make it last is what seems more important than if it should exist at all.
We wish with all our heart this love were right. We badly want it to be that way.
Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? Read 5 Ways You Feel When In A Toxic Relationship
The third love: The Love that Lasts
And then there is the third type of love. We have never imagined it and never thought such love could be right for us.
It destroys any ideas that we had about how love should be. We fall into it so easily that it seems impossible. We can’t even explain the connection that binds us with the other person. Yet, we are swept off our feet because we had no plans to have such an experience.
In this type of love, we just meet this person and everything falls in place. Even without our knowing everything just fits. This happens because one does not think or rather remember that they must behave in a particular manner or any pressure to be other than what they naturally are.
We are accepted for what we are. There is no coloring, no makeup – just our plane authentic self. This realization reverberates deep within our souls.
Never had we imagined that love would come to our lives in this way. It does not follow any of the rules we thought would help us to be careful and calculated. This love removes any fixed notions we had in our mind about how it should be.
When love happens like this, we may not be able to believe that it has actually happened. But, it continuously tells us that it has arrived, no matter how much time we take to respond.
It seems the most right thing that has ever happened to us.
Perhaps, not everyone gets to experience this type of love, or maybe we can’t because we aren’t ready to experience it. The truth is we have to understand what does not mean love before we can know what it is.
It can take a whole life to learn the lessons of life, or if, one is lucky they grasp all of them just in a few years.
It could be that it does not matter if we are prepared for love, but if love is ready for us.
So many times we have seen people around us who fell in love once and are in as much love today as they were 50 years ago when they entered matrimony. Their passionate love doesn’t lose its sheen until their lives end. They make us wonder if we have any clue how to love at all.
Most people believe they are lucky, and indeed, they are.
But people who survive all the failed relationships and ultimately make it to the third love are the luckiest.
They are the ones who are tired of trying and their broken hearts make them wonder if there is something truly wrong with their way of loving.
There’s nothing wrong with their way of loving. It’s just that they haven’t found someone who could love them in the same way they did.
Have you found the love of your life? Read 6 Reasons Why The Right Relationship Is Absolutely Worth The Wait
So, it boils down to this. Either we don’t have the ability to love other than the way we do or we know no limits when it comes to loving someone.
Anyone can stay in first love if they are happy with it because it looks so perfect and everyone approves it. They can stick around with the second one if we are able to live with the belief that it isn’t loved unless we don’t have to struggle to keep it. Or we can believe there exists a third love.
The love that makes you feel as if you have come home but you can’t prove it with a piece of rationale. It doesn’t feel as if you are facing a storm, rather it feels like the calm that surrounds after the storm has passed.
First love is special as they say and the love that leaves a scar on our hearts is still unique, but the third love is truly amazing.
Because we never saw it coming, yet it lasts. It reveals why the previous ones didn’t last. That is why you should not cease to try, cause you don’t know when you will find your final love.
“You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.” ~ Unknown
Here’s an interesting video on how we fall in love with 3 people in our lifetime – each one for a specific reason: