We experience three types of love in our lifetime, and these 3 loves happen for a reason. When we are hopelessly in love with someone, it becomes unbearable even to think that this won’t last forever. But we do get heartbroken and we also break others’ hearts; sometimes knowingly and other times we just can’t help it.
Nevertheless, no matter how much pointless our existence seems to be after a breakup, with time, we move on with our lives, and again we find love. Some luck out in this department and find the love of their life sooner than the rest of us, while others have to wait for a long time to get the one who is for the keeps.
But before meeting “the one”, we might have to turn quite a few pages of unfinished stories; stories of dashed hopes and unfulfilled dreams. After all, how many times can you fall in love?
We Experience Three Types Of Love In Our Lifetime
Given that all our lives are different, if you look closely, you will realize that you will have 3 main loves in your life.
The reason for having 3 types of love in your life is also very different. We fall in love with 3 people and all of them teach us distinct lessons in life. So dig in to find out more about who they are to whom we give our hearts to and how many times we fall in love.
The First Time We Fall In Love: The Love that Looks Right
The first time we fall in love is when usually we are still in high school or sometimes even younger. This love is somewhat similar to what we have read as kids. It is idealistic love.
When we are hit by cupid’s arrow for the first time, we tend to think this is it! There will be no love like this, at no other time.
We want to do it for the sake of society, and for our families, mostly while trying to overcome peer pressure. We tend to believe this love will last forever and even if it doesn’t feel like the right thing, we want to do it.
We are ready to ignore our personal truths, but all we want is to make it work somehow because our heart believes that this is what love is.
This type of love feels perfect, emotionally overwhelming, and all-consuming. We are ready to sacrifice everything to make it work because we are confident in its credibility. We don’t think about how many times we fall in love in our lives because our first love makes us naive and hopelessly optimistic.
The Second Time We Fall In Love: The Hard Love
The second love can be called hard love, the love that teaches us tough lessons the hard way.
Going through this kind of love, out of the three types of love, you will understand who you are and the need for love in one’s life. It brings hurt as most people are manipulated and lied to by their lovers. In this type of love, one encounters pain.
We still have so many illusions that need to be broken. When we think we have learned a great deal and are making better choices, in truth, we still opt for the need to learn the bitter truths of life.
Despite the pain, we want to work on it as long as possible. Even if one relationship gets over, we keep getting back into the same types of relationships and make the same choices. Every time we think things would be different this time, but the end is worse than before.
Making the wrong choices leads us to the wrong people. We end up getting into unbalanced relationships. Relationships that are unhealthy.
And also with narcissists as we still haven’t developed the power of judgment that helps us distinguish between the right and wrong people. We get subjected to mental, physical, and emotional abuse, but still, we want to stick to such relationships.
There are such extreme highs and lows that one feels as if one is riding on an emotional roller coaster. This prevents us from quitting because we are always ready to face the lows in the hope of the highs.
When in this type of love, trying to make it last is what seems more important than if it should exist at all. We wish with all our hearts this love was right. We badly want it to be that way. Even by this time, we haven’t found the answer to the question of how many times we fall in love.
The Third Time We Fall In Love: The Love that Lasts
And then there is the third type of love. We have never imagined it and never thought such love could be right for us.
It destroys any ideas that we had about how love should be. We fall into it so easily that it seems impossible. We can’t even explain the connection that binds us with the other person. Yet, we are swept off our feet because we had no plans to have such an experience.
In this type of love, we just meet this person and everything falls into place. Even without our knowing, everything just fits. This happens because one does not think or rather remember that they must behave in a particular manner or feel any pressure to be anything other than what they naturally are.
We are accepted for what we are. There is no coloring, no makeup – just our plain authentic self. This realization reverberates deep within our souls. Never had we imagined that love would come to our lives in this way. It does not follow any of the rules we thought would help us to be careful and calculated. This love removes any fixed notions we had in our minds about how it should be.
When love happens like this, we may not be able to believe that it has actually happened. But, it continuously tells us that it has arrived, no matter how much time we take to respond. It seems the most right thing that has ever happened to us.
Perhaps, not everyone gets to experience this type of love, or maybe we can’t because we aren’t ready to experience it. The truth is we have to understand what love is not before we can know what it is. It can take a whole life to learn the lessons of life, or if, one is lucky they end up grasping all of them just in a few years. It could be that it does not matter if we are prepared for love, but if love is ready for us.
So many times we have seen people around us who fell in love once and are in as much love today as they were 50 years ago when they entered matrimony. Their passionate love doesn’t lose its sheen until their lives end. They make us wonder if we have any clue how to love at all. These people believe they are lucky, and indeed, they are.
But some of us, who survive all the failed relationships and ultimately make it to the third love is the luckiest. We are the ones who are tired of trying and our broken hearts make us wonder if there is something truly wrong with our way of loving. At this stage when we still haven’t figured out how many times we fall in love, our true love appears.
And they teach us that there’s nothing wrong with our way of loving. It’s just that we haven’t found someone who could love us in the same way they do.
So, the question that, how many times we fall in love, boils down to this; the right love can appear anytime and before that, we might need to learn a lot of lessons from all our failed relationships.
We can stay in first love if we are happy with it because it looks so perfect and everyone approves of it. We can stick around with the second one if we can live with the belief that it isn’t love unless we don’t have to struggle to keep it. Or we can believe there exists a third love.
The love that makes us feel as if we have come home but we can’t prove it with a piece of rationale. It doesn’t feel as if we are facing a storm, rather it feels like the calm that surrounds after the storm has passed.
First love is special as they say and the love that leaves a scar on our hearts is still unique, but the third love is truly amazing.
Because we never saw it coming, yet it lasts. It reveals why the previous ones didn’t last. That is why you should not cease to try, cause you don’t know when you will find your final love.
Want to know more about the three types of love? Check this video out below!