“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” ~ Unknown
Usually, a person falls in love with 3 people in his/her lifetime before they know what love really means.
The reason for loving these three different types of people is also very different. We all need these three types of love to teach us distinct lessons in life.
First love: The Love that Looks Right
The first love usually happens when we are still in high school or sometimes even younger. This love is somewhat similar to what we have read as kids. It is the idealistic love.
We want to do it for the sake of society, for our families, mostly while trying to overcome peer pressure. We tend to believe this love will last forever and even if it doesn’t feel the most right thing we want to do it. We are ready to ignore our personal truths, but all we want is to make it work somehow because our heart believes that this is what love is.
This type of love feels perfect, emotionally overwhelming and all-consuming. We are ready to sacrifice everything to make it work because we are confident of its credibility. Why would we want to think of others when we are in love? That’s because this type of love makes us care more about how people look at us than how we feel about ourselves.
It perfectly fits into the imagination that we have about love.
The second love: The Hard Love
The second love can be called hard love, the love that teaches us tough lessons the hard way.
Going through this love one understands who they are and the need for love in one’s life. It brings hurt as most of the people are manipulated and lied to by their lovers. In this type of love, one encounters pain.
We still have so many illusions that need to be broken. When think we have learned a great deal and are making better choices, but in truth, we still opt from the need to learn the bitter truths of life. Despite the pain, we want to work it as long as possible. Even if one relationship gets over, we keep getting back to the same types of relationships and make the same choices. Every time we think things would be different this time, but the end is worse than before.
Making the wrong choices leads us to wrong people. We end up getting into unbalanced relationships. Relationships which are unhealthy. And also with narcissists as we still haven’t developed the power of judgment that helps us distinguish between the right and wrong people. We get subjected to mental, physical and emotional abuse, but still, we want to stick to such relationships. There are such extreme highs and lows that one feels as if they are riding on an emotional roller coaster. That prevents us from quitting because we are always ready to face the lows in the hope of the highs.
When in this type of love, trying to make it last is what seems more important than if it should exist at all.
We wish with all our heart this love were right. We badly want it to be that way.
The third love : The Love that Lasts
And then there is the third type of love. We have never imagined it and never thought such love could be right for us.
It destroys any ideas that we had about how love should be. We fall into it so easily that it seems impossible. We can’t even explain the connection that binds us with the other person. Yet, we are swept off our feet because we had no plans to have such an experience.
In this type of love we just meet this person and everything falls in place. Even without our knowing everything just fits. This happens because one does not think or rather remember that they must behave in a particular manner or any pressure to be other than what they naturally are.
We are accepted for what we are. There is no coloring, no makeup – just our plane authentic self. This realization reverberates deep within our souls.