“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” ~ Unknown
In reality we fall in love with only Three types of people.
The reason for loving these three different types of people is also very different. We need each of these three types of love in our life as they affect us in different ways.
Falling In Love the 1st Time: The Love that Looks Right
The first love usually happens when we are still in high school or sometimes even younger. This love is somewhat similar to what we have read as kids. It is the idealistic love.
This love has an element of altruism. We want to do it for the sake of the society, for our families. We tend to believe this love will last forever and even if it doesn’t feel the most right thing we want to do it. We are ready to ignore our personal truths, but all we want is to make it work somehow because our heart believes that this is what love is.
Why we want to think of others, when we are in love? That’s because this type of love makes us care more about how people look at us than how we feel about ourselves.
It perfectly fits into the imagination that we have about love.
Falling In Love the 2nd Time: The Hard Love
The second love can be called hard love — the love that teaches us tough lessons the hard way.
Going through this love one understands who they are and the need for love in one’s life. It brings hurt as most of the people are manipulated and lied to by their lovers. In this type of love one encounters pain.
We still have so many illusions that need to be broken. When think we have learned a great deal and are making better choices, but in truth we still opt from the need to learn the bitter truths of life. Despite the pain we want to work it as long as possible. Even if one relationship gets over, we keep getting back to the same types of relationships and make the same choices. Every time we think things would be different this time, but the end is worse than before.
Making wrong choices leads us to wrong people. We end up getting into unbalanced relationships. Relationships which are unhealthy. And also with narcissists as we still haven’t developed the power of judgment that helps us distinguish between the right and wrong people. We get subjected to mental, physical and emotional abuse, but still we want to stick to such relationships. There are such extreme highs and lows that one feels as if they are riding on an emotional roller coaster. That prevents us from quitting because we are always ready to face the lows in the hope of the highs.
When in this type of love, trying to make it last is what seems more important than if it should exist at all.
We wish with all our heart this love were right. We want it to be that way, badly.