Life is not always going to be a bed of roses, and no matter how much we might hate it, it is not going to be pretty too all the time. Sometimes, it’s life that throws you several curveballs to test and challenge you. However, sometimes you do certain things that lead to you ruining your life.
Fortunately, you do have a considerable amount of control over your life. Whether it goes downhill or not depends on what your attitude is towards life. If you have consistently negative thoughts about your life, they will end up being true through a socio-psychological phenomenon known as a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ in which a person’s prediction comes true simply because the behaviors of the person align those beliefs.
Similarly, if you think positively, have faith in yourself, and are optimistic about the future, then your life will not seem as bleak and negative. You will be able to live life in a more happy and more joyful way.
Nobody wants to ruin their life on purpose. Most of us do so due to a number of psychological and behavioral reasons. Knowing what you may be doing that is ruining your life can help you change the way you think, and take the right steps in improving your life.
Let’s find out what is it you’re doing unknowingly that is threatening to destroy your life as you know it.
Related: How Changing Your Beliefs Will Make You Realize How Much Life Has To Offer
5 Ways You Are Perfectly Ruining Your Life
1. You are too scared of change.
One of the biggest ways you can ruin your life is by resisting change. Most of us will stick to a mundane, familiar, stagnant, and useless 9-5 job for the fear of being unemployed or unsuccessful. You become so preoccupied with security, that you let go of what makes you happy.
Success is not just about earning money and living in a grand house, success is about passion and there is a difference between your passion and the job you choose out of compulsion. If you’re always afraid of getting out of your comfort zone, you will never be able to grow.
If you cannot muster up the courage to venture outside the box leaving behind comfort and routine, you will never be able to taste success. And unfortunately, most people choose to do exactly that due to the fear of failure.
2. You are choosing the wrong people to have your life.
We are too excited about fast-forwarding relationships, aren’t we? We are falling in and out of love like it’s nobody’s business. Nowadays love has become a trade for hungry hearts.
People fall in love when they want to sleep with someone, people fall in love when they need attention from someone, and people fall in love when they are bored. You are not searching for the real kind of love, you are simply looking for someone who will fill the void in your life.
The secret to having the right kind of love in your life is to love and accept yourself fully. When you discover yourself, learn to love yourself, and accept your flaws, only then can you completely love another human being. If you are scared to face yourself and love yourself, how can you expect your significant other to do the same?
Don’t rush into a relationship, because real love can never be rushed. It will happen when it’s meant to happen, always remember that. Let the love blossom and the connection deepen before you make the final decision to put your trust and commitment in them. Having the wrong kind of you people in your life can sometimes cause irreparable damage.
Related: 11 Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back In Life
3. You are still stuck in the past.
Everybody’s life has a few incidents they would never like to relive, some horrific, some a little less devastating. Bad experiences are a part and parcel of everyone’s life, you cannot move through life without getting scarred. What your attitude is toward your mistakes, heartbreaks, and failures, and how you use these adversities to your own advantage is up to you.
You might find it hard to trust a person who really loves you just because someone in the past cheated on you and broke your heart making you feel worthless. But this will only stop you from experiencing the good and pure things in life.
Leave behind what was said, felt, done, and created. Move forward to positive things that are currently happening in your life. If you judge your present context with the past context, incident, and happenings, you will be ruining your life forever. Direct your mindful focus on what you have today instead of on what you didn’t have yesterday.
The only way you’ll ever be happy in your life is by focusing on the present, instead of regretting the past and feeling worried about the future.
4. You constantly compare yourself with others.
This is one of the worst things you can do to yourself, and one of the major factors behind your ruining your life. Your friend has a really well-paid job, a happy family, a nice house, lots of fancy things, and above all, a luxurious lifestyle. What do you have? A life you want to end, failures, broken heart, a job you are not happy in, and a decent place to stay. Nothing much to boast about, to yourself or to others isn’t it?
If this is how you view your life then you haven’t thought of people who have it much worse off than you. It is our human tendency to catastrophize our problems and also view other people in better conditions. But the reality is that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
If you want to live a happy life, you need to be grateful for all the things you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t. Gratitude is the best-kept secret for a happy and content life. You have your parents with you, a home to live in, and food on the table – isn’t this a life worth living for and feeling happy about? Mental peace, contentment, and happiness are all that matter, at the end of the day.
Related: 6 Core Findings About Human Happiness
5. You let other people take charge of your life.
When you give the reins of your life to someone else, you are giving off the message that you have no confidence in yourself, and would rather have someone else make all the important decisions for you. Have confidence in yourself, and always remember that you know yourself the best, so the decisions that are the best for you should only be taken by you.
Comparing yourself with others, letting other people bulldoze over you, and suffering from low self-worth will only harm you in the long run. What other people want from you and expect from you comes second, what you want and expect from yourself is what matters.
Live life on your own terms, and don’t let others tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.
Are you unknowingly doing any of these things that are probably ruining your life? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
Want to know more about the signs you are ruining your life? Check this video out below!
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