This is how you ruin your life.
Life is not a straight line. It is a zig-zag line, full of uncertain twists and turns which we are never prepared for beforehand. We flow with it and all we can do is change its course up to a certain limit. Fortunately, you do have a considerable amount of control over your life. Whether it goes downhill or not depends on what your attitude is towards life. If you have consistently negative thoughts about your life, it will turn true through a socio-psychological phenomenon known as ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ in which a person’s prediction comes true simply because the behaviors of the person align those beliefs.
Similarly, whether you want your life to sail smoother and on an optimistic stance, you need to have a positive and hopeful attitude towards your life.
Nobody wants to ruin their life on purpose. Most of us do so due to a number of psychological and behavioral reasons. Some being our bad habits of procrastinating, our self-limiting thoughts, etc. There is no easy formula for success, but failure is predictable and stoppable.
Here I will talk about 5 ways in which you can unrelentingly ruin your life.
5 ways you are ruining your life:
1. You are ruining your life by rejecting the change.
One of the biggest ways you can ruin your life is by not accepting change. Most of us will stick to a mundane, familiar, stagnant and useless 9-5 job for the fear of being unemployed. We forget that our jobs are just illusions we feed ourselves to play the success make-believe. Success is about passion and there is a difference between your passion and the job you choose out of compulsion. Every one of us is afraid to move out of the box. Most importantly, our accomplishments and opportunities lie outside our comfort zone. If you cannot muster up the courage to move outside the box leaving behind comfort and routine, you will never be able to taste success. And most of us are caged in fear.
2. You are ruining your life by making the wrong decisions about people.
We are too excited about fast-forwarding relationships. Aren’t we? We are falling in and out of love like it’s nobody’s business. Nowadays love has become a trade for hungry hearts. People fall in love when they want to sleep with someone, people fall in love when they need attention from someone, people fall in love when they are bored. People are in a hurry to mingle with someone. We do not search for the fundamental love we are in need of, we search for easy fills to our lack. When we discover ourselves, learn to love ourselves and accept our own flaws, only then can we completely love another human being. If you are scared to face yourself, love yourself, how can you expect your significant other to do the same?
Do not hasten the process of being into a relationship, just for the sake of it. Let the love blossom and the connection deepen before you make the decision to put them in your life. The wrong choices of people can build or mar your future. Choose wisely.
3. You are ruining your life by sticking to your past.
Everybody’s life has a few incidents they would never like to relive. Some horrific, some a little less devastating – bad experiences are a part and parcel of everyone’s life. You cannot move through life without getting scarred. What your attitude is towards your mistakes, heartbreaks, failures, and how you use these adversities to your own advantage is up to you. You might find it hard to trust a person who really loves you just because someone in the past cheated on you and broke your heart making you feel worthless.
Leave behind what was said, felt, done and created. Move forward to positive things that are currently happening in your life. If you judge your present context with the past context, incident, and happenings, you will be ruining for the rest of your life. Direct your mindful focus on what you have today instead of on what you didn’t have yesterday.
4. You are ruining your life by comparing it with others.
Your friend has a job, a settled family, a well-furnished house, lots of possessions and a luxurious lifestyle. What do you have? A life you want to end, failures, broken heart, unemployment and a merely decent place to stay. Nothing much to boast about, to yourself or to others. If this is how you view your life then you haven’t thought of people who are at a worse position in life than you are in. It is our human tendency to catastrophize our problems and also view other people in better condition.
Now, look at your life in a positive light – you have your parents with you, a shelter to live, some foods to eat, a life worth living, mental peace, contentment, and happiness. Does it seem better? Always try to focus on the positive side of your experience spectrum.
5. You are ruining your life by living it on someone else’s terms.
Do not let people’s success drive you crazy, other people’s relationships make you feel lonely or the possessions of others make you feel worthless. Everyone has their own timeline. Never stop working hard for the dreams that define your life’s purpose. If you want to heal the world of its sickness, do it. Do not stop at anything unless you reach your determined destination. Life is once and for all. It will never come back. Then why live someone else’s life? Fall in love with yourself and dance to your own tune.