The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

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The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising, of course, is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.




Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and forget.

Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

They may be poor calls of judgment, lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.

Because lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly.

Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the problem is, they’re still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.

When love scars, it cuts deep. The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to.

You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust.




Chances are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live with. Why?

Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and so you don’t have to worry about her happiness anymore.

You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is the darker side of love.




40 COMMENTS

  1. @ Sious, that's so sweet and beautiful. hope you guys will meet in the next life. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 11 month. it felt like 11 years. when I meet him, I've never felt the way I felt before with any other guy. the instant connection, smiles, laughs and spending quality time together over weekends as we lived in different cities. we had our challenges but the connection I had with him, sense of belonging made me hold on and believe that, the storm will pass. I tried everything to make him see how much I love him, how I would love for him to do the things which would make me happy but he told, he cannot do any of those things. I told myself, hold on, it'll get better. instead it got worse. emotionally I was bleeding, hurting and doubted the relationship because, he spoke of his ex, made reference to them about our relationships, he swore at me and I took the pain and smiled. he was never sincere in his apologies. I could feel that, he was just saying it. I tried to be strong even broke up with him twice but that didn't change who he was. I told him that, the issue of him speaking about his ex and making reference to them about our relationship is not healthy and I do not like it but he saw no issue with that. I cried a lot of times not understanding how can someone I love do this to me, someone I'm connected to emotionally. unfortunately no answer came through. I spent hours, daily , weeks being emotionally torn apart. I suggested we go for counselling and he said he was scared and sensed that, he is loosing me and I said I will never go. I want to fix our relationship. he was indenial until he came through for one session. He spoke without fear and indicated that, I'm too demanding and always looking for problems were there aren't. I asked, why he chooses to go to a party when we could be home resolving our issues, but I got the same answer I got the first time, I'm looking for problems were there aren't. after seeing that, I'm not getting anywhere with this guy, I decided to leave and told him that, I'm leaving because, I'm not appreciated and taken advantage off. but funny enough, a part of me wishes, he could see the wrongs he did and come back but my mind says, he will never come back and will never apologise because he saw no issues of all that affected me in the relationship and the doing he did. how do I move on

  2. This post is beautiful. For those who says love does not hurt or it is not love, you are wrong. It can cause an emotional hurt. Forty years ago I lost the love of my life, my twin flame/soulmate to suicide. I loved him so so much. Every once in a rare while he visits me in my dreams, but I am always half awake, so I know he is really here. Very early this morning as I was waking he came, gave me one of his huge bear hugs and sang softly in my ear, James Taylor's How Sweet it is to be loved by you. We walked and talked, he broke down in tears, we hugged some more, he made me breakfast and then had to go. I am so happy but it sure does hurt that I cannot be with him until I cross over as well. My heart is always yearning for a love that I know exists, across time and dimensions, but I cannot physically touch or kiss. I go to sleep at night alone, no body next to mine. That hurts. But I still smile because I know that he loves me too. One day we will be together again and our broken hearts will be healed and one again. There is no power greater than love. <3