They may have been pushed into the background during their formative years so that mum or dad may take center stage. They may have been subjected to seemingly endless displays of parental rage.
As a result of their traumatic upbringing, children of narcissistic parents often display low self-esteem having been constantly blamed and put down by their parents or parents. Some may bottle up their anger, being unable to express their feelings. They have spent all their childhood trying to please their parent and often grow into people pleasers who do everything to please others.
People who are people, pleasers, often pay too high a price, the cost of their own needs or wants are put on the back burner. As a child of a narcissistic parent, they were never allowed to stand up for themselves resulting in a strong likelihood that this will continue into their adult lives.
It may be necessary to protect not only yourself but your children, from your narcissistic parent.
It may be that you feel that you can never leave your child on their own in the company of your parent. The disordered parent may endeavor to turn your own child against you. Supervised visits may be the only answer. It takes a great deal of strength to stand up to a parent but sometimes you will be left with no choice. You may feel like you have drawn every bad card in the deck when you realize one of your parents may be a narcissist.
Depending on the severity of the abuse, the answer may be to spend less time with the controlling parent. In some cases, the only solution may be to sever all contact. Every situation is different. It is not being selfish to value yourself and your needs and to do what is necessary for you to grow into and be the person who you are meant to be.
Don’t feel guilty and be influenced by others outside the loop who do not understand your position. Your parent may have fooled people on the outside into believing that they are a pillar of society, but you know the truth. Do what is right for you in your own circumstances.
Don’t believe the parent who tries to convince you that you aren’t good enough. You are. Unfortunately, many will never recognize that they are the problem and not you.
Written by Anne McCrea
Originally Appeared on narcissisticandemotionalabuse.co.uk
Printed with Permission
Narcissistic parents will always put themselves first, and they could care less about their children or their wellbeing. As long as they get to mold their kids according to their convenience, and wishes, all will be well.
If you want to know more about a narcissistic parent, then check this video out below: