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Taking a Closer Look at Letting Go

Taking Closer Look at Letting Go

How do you look at letting go? On a recent walk, I was reflecting on the concept of letting go – of getting out of our own way and allowing the grace and intelligence of Life to move us forward.  Don’t you love the sound of that?  So supportive and nourishing and ease-filled…and yet, for many people, it’s confusing and seemingly difficult to do.

One of the first questions clients ask, once they’ve acknowledged a need and desire to experience the relief of letting go, is what they’re actually letting go of.  Usually, they’ve been trying so hard for so long to make something happen, they think what they need to let go of is the desire itself.

And while it’s true that our desires shift and change over time, and that it’s always beneficial to pause, go within and ask our heart of hearts what we want now (as opposed to what we may have wanted in the past), what usually needs to be released is the struggle and frustration, not the desire.

closer look at letting go
Taking a Closer Look at Letting Go

What most people desire are experienced such as greater fulfilment at work, satisfying creative self-expression, financial plenty, vibrant health and loving relationships. These are natural, life-giving desires that generate a sense of aliveness and fulfilment as they are realized.  They call us toward our most meaningful, peaceful and joyful lives. They are meant to be honoured, not tossed into the trash bin of “not going to happen.”

But because so many of us don’t fully grasp the ramifications of being a vibrational being in a vibrational universe, we don’t understand that pushing and forcing and struggling to make something happen to generate feelings such as frustration, resentment and overwhelm – all of which is vibrational static that interferes with the natural evolution of our desires from ideas to experiences.

Related: Why Letting Go Is Not Always A Bad Thing

At a certain level, though, most people intuitively recognize when they’re trying too hard, even if they don’t understand energy dynamics. In that recognition – and in their exhaustion – they understand that they need to relax and get out of their own way. And so they figure out what they can delegate, eliminate or do less of, and maybe they even schedule a vacation or retreat to get away from it all and focus on relaxation, all of which are excellent, self-loving things to do.

But the thing is, changing action without changing mindset doesn’t actually change anything long-term. It’s like moving pieces around on a game board.  You change the specifics of how you get to the endpoint, but you’re still playing the same game.

It’s time for a different game, one that reflects the vibrational nature of your being. In this game, there is no endpoint, just ever-expanding cycles of growth, joy and fulfilment.


As a vibrational being, the tone or quality of your consciousness determines the tone or quality of your life, and it sets the stage for the specific opportunities, circumstances and relationships you experience.  It determines the kinds of ideas you have, the types of people who show up in your life, the level of income you can currently realize, the nature of opportunities that present themselves to you and so much more because one of the properties of energy is that like attracts like. 

As you vibrate, so you create.

As I’m using the term, “consciousness” is the constellation of your ideas, assumptions, beliefs, opinions, interpretations, conclusions, thoughts, worldview, feelings, doubts, fears, etc., all of which have an energetic reality to them. It is the composite of the intangible yet very real aspects of you that define and express who you are.

Your consciousness is the energetic matrix or blueprint for your life, and the really good news is that it can be changed if you don’t like something about your life right now. 

You can change the blueprint by cultivating new perspectives and abandoning the ones that no longer serve you – which brings us back to letting go.

Many of us have been taught we have to work really hard to succeed at anything, and that belief alone is the root cause of a lot of frustration, resentment and overwhelm as we attempt to work harder and harder to achieve our goals, not realizing that the belief in struggle, and the associated uncomfortable feelings that arise as we struggle, are getting in the way of what we want.  Our belief in struggle creates more of it. Talk about a perspective that no longer serves us!

Related: What Is Consciousness? The Scientific Pursuit of Consciousness

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Suzanne Eder

Suzanne Eder is an award-winning writer, transformational teacher and personal mentor, helping people create lives they truly love through what she calls the Alchemy of Self Love. She has a unique talent for articulating teachings about how to create your own reality in a fresh way that helps people embrace and embody what they have only understood intellectually. Suzanne lives what she teaches and is, in the words of best-selling author Tama Kieves, “the real deal.” She was a featured speaker at the 2015 TEDxWilmington conference and her popular talk, The Dark Side of Self Improvement, is available on YouTube. Visit her at Author posts