Do you run out of topics during a conversation? Do your friends avoid spending time with you? Have you ever been called (gasp)… a boring person?
We all like to think that we are charming, interesting, attractive and exciting. But what if you are not? What if, wait-for-it, you are a boring person? What if the room becomes dull instead of lighting up when you walk in? While there is nothing wrong with being boring, you personally wouldn’t prefer to be around someone who is boring, would you? Boring people are dull, uninteresting, tiresome, demotivating and soul-destroying. They suck all your mental and emotional energy out, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted. You feel like running a mile away every time you see them and pray that you never turn into someone who is so mind-numbing.
So when someone calls you boring, it can come as a rude shock and make you wonder “Am I truly a boring person?”
Well, are you? Are you a boring person?
Related: 8 Causes Of Boredom
Signs you’re a boring person
While most of us feel bored and not-that-awesome at times, a person with a boring personality can be a nightmare to be with and turn any situation awkward. If you have ever asked yourself “Do I have a boring personality?”, then here are a few common signs of a boring person –
1. You don’t have any opinions about anything
A boring person never adds anything to a conversation. They don’t have any opinions, they never disagree or argue nor they speak up for themselves…ever. This is mainly because they don’t feel passionate about anything in life. They don’t have any hobbies, they don’t learn new skills, they don’t learn new information or invest any time in self-development. And hence, they have nothing to say about anything.
So if you tend to go with the flow and have a rather laid-back attitude, you just might be boring to the core. When others cannot learn anything from you, and when you float through conversations simply by agreeing to what others say all the time, others will see you as a boring person.
2. You talk only about yourself
Love talking about yourself ALL THE ‘EFFING’ TIME? While talking about yourself may be your favorite topic and you may find it very interesting, others can find it utterly boring. One of the major signs of a boring personality is constantly talking about yourself. Yes, it’s okay and important to share your achievements, struggles, thoughts and emotions with your friends and loved ones. But no one wants to hear you whine about the drama in your life or listen to you gloat about how awesome you are every single time you open your mouth.
If the conversation always circles back to you and your life, then people will see you as a boring person. A person with boring personality traits does not think about what others may be interested in, they only focus on what they want to talk about. If it doesn’t concern you, then you don’t find it interesting. And that’s exactly when others will find YOU uninteresting.
Related: 25+ Fun Things To Do When You’re Bored At Home
3. You talk A LOT (or NOT at all)
When you don’t have the ability to listen to what others have to say and only focus on saying what you want to, then you will appear boring and dull. Interesting people actively listen to others and talk to respond or to share their views, not to react. A boring person, on the other hand, talks nonstop without thinking about the content that is coming out of their mouth. They talk because they have to and to hide their anxieties, insecurities and awkwardness.
Contrarily, while listening is important, responding appropriately is equally important. As I said earlier, when you don’t add anything to the conversation, you become a conversation killer and make the other person feel awkward and confused. It shows that you are socially anxious and a pure bred bore.
4. You have a negative mindset
Do you feel like a victim of the circumstances? Do you feel you never have enough? Do you always believe that others screw your chances of achieving success in life? Okay, all of us tend to feel a bit pessimistic at times. But if you are overly negative, have a victim mentality, and love to blame others for your mistakes, then people will find you not just boring, but annoying as well. No one wants to hear you complain about life all the time. Your friends don’t want to play therapist for you so that you can nag and whine for hours.
Being negative all the time reveals that you have a distorted perception of people and life. You lack self-control and will power and just love to complain, complain and complain all day long. Does it sound interesting and exciting to you? Of course not. No wonder people think you are a boring person. Everyone is going through struggles and challenges. Granted we all share our problems with trusted friends, but you need to stop complaining every time you see them. People love individuals who have the strength and courage even in the face of challenges, not someone who starts crying when it starts raining.
If you feel you are unable to change your mentality, seek professional help to identify any underlying psychological causes like depression.
5. You are way too predictable
One of the basic signs of a boring person is predictability. A boring individual is a servant of their habits. But the thing about habit is it is a good servant, but a bad master. When you become too tied up in following your daily routine blindly, your life becomes dull, tedious and mundane. You do the same thing every single day – you eat the same, you wear the same, you do the same, you live the same. But worst of all, you don’t want to change anything about your life.
You don’t want to venture into the unknown and experiment with what more life has to offer. You are defined by your predictable routine. Can anyone ever find you interesting then? No. Harsh, but true.
Related: How To Break Monotony In Life: 35 Hacks To Make Life More Thrilling
6. You lack passion and excitement
When was the last time you were ambitious about something? When was the last time you pursued a goal with passion and determination? People love individuals who are passionate about their dreams and goals. Individuals who go through crevices of struggles to reach the summit of success. That’s what people want to see and hear. That’s what inspires them. When you lack any true passion, people will feel bored in your presence. When you don’t get excited about anything, behave in a passive manner, seem expressionless and speak without enthusiasm, you seem disengaged, hopeless, dry and boring.
7. You are low on emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI) enables us to manage our emotions and understand what others may be feeling. When you lack emotional intelligence, you become stubborn, rigid and unable to understand others’ perspectives. This turns you into a downright boring person. Emotional intelligence is crucial for maintaining positive and healthy relationships and a successful career. Being emotionally detached from others keeps you from connecting to them.
Low emotional intelligence also results in a lack of empathy which keeps you from realizing what others are going through. As you cannot relate with them, you lack the ability to engage in deep conversations, which makes you seem superficial and boring. When you become overly self-centered and your life revolves only around you, people will stay away from you.
Related: The Boredom Paradox: 5 Steps To Take When Bored
8. You love being in the comfort zone
The comfort zone is called the “comfort” zone for an obvious reason. It makes us feel safe, secure and relaxed. But when you trap yourself inside the comfort zone, you stop yourself from growing and getting better. While our comfort zones keep us safe and prevent things from changing abruptly, reality does its own thing and continues to change constantly. The more you stay holed up in the comfort zone, the weaker you will become – unable to cope with the changes, challenges, risks and threats of the ever-changing real world.
Overstaying in the comfort zone keeps you afraid and restricted. As you become afraid of taking risks, you increasingly become a boring person as you live inside your self-created tiny little world. While evolution has programmed us to avoid threats and risks, real growth exists outside your comfort zone. Being comfortable with discomfort leads to confidence and happiness, while staying in the comfort zone will lead to suffering and discomfort in the long run.
9. You are bored and don’t have any fun
A boring person is never interested in trying new things and engaging in fun activities. When you explore new places, learn new skills, try new experiences, you become more exciting, wiser and knowledgeable. Your experiences become interesting stories that others will want to hear and learn from. When you get stuck in a routine and trap yourself in your comfort zone, refusing to have any fun, you become a boring person without a shadow of a doubt.
Monotony is dull and boring. Variety is fun and exciting. It’s that simple. While routine is important, we should also be adventurous and explore things that we have never even thought about. It enables you to enjoy life, which otherwise turns into a super borefest.
10. You don’t want to improve yourself
What is one of the most common and easily identifiable signs of a boring person? Staying glued to a screen all day. While you may find watching the latest MCU shows or Netflix highly interesting, it makes you look like a dull and boring person who has nothing better to do with their lives. A person who has no interest in personal development is unappealing, unattractive and uninteresting. Watching Netflix doesn’t necessarily make you boring, but not taking responsibilities, not reading, not going to the gym, not meditating, not taking those online classes to boost your career makes you downright boring.
All of us need to be entertained, but that entertainment should be earned. We all need to relax and let our hair down, but that time needs to come after a day of working hard to make our and our loved ones lives better. When you avoid self-development, and become an expert on the latest web series, you start sounding boring and quite frankly, dull.
Related: 8 Mental Health Benefits Of Boredom, According To Studies
Habits of extremely boring people
Here are some more signs of a boring personality that you need to identify in yourself to find out if you are being a boring person –
- You don’t have a strong, individualized and unique personality
- You don’t smile enough, have a poor sense of humor and can’t really tell any good jokes
- You have become overly jaded & cynical with age and lost your sense of awe
- You lack creativity, imagination and original ideas
- You feel unhappy, numb, restless and bored most of the time
- You fail to read others’ body language and are unable to understand when they are uninterested in you
- You are always glued to your phone and are constantly active on social media
- You speak in a monotone voice and repeat yourself often
- You tend to become needy or codependent in romantic relationships and platonic friendships
- You are unable to adapt and improvise based on the situation
- You hang out with the wrong crowd
- You don’t have good storytelling skills and make conversations unnecessarily long
- You do not engage in any spontaneous, weird or embarrassing activities
- You are indecisive and are unable to take decisions on your own
- Your idea of enjoyment is drinking alcohol, smoking and taking recreational drugs
Can you relate to most or all of these signs of a boring person?
Related: 5 Reasons Why You’re Bored With Life and 8 Ways To Make Life Interesting
How to stop being a boring person
If you have identified the above signs of a boring person in you, then here are a few tips to avoid being a boring person and become more passionate and interesting –
1. Listen to others
Be more interested in listening to what others have to say instead of talking about yourself all the time. Even if you are shy and not necessarily self-centered, learn to ask people about their experiences.
2. Do something new
It can be anything. Take a vacation, learn new skills, explore new areas in your city, meet new people, try new restaurants. Anything. Just focus on gaining new experiences instead of sitting on the couch and watching Netflix or scrolling social media. That’s how you stop being a boring person.
3. Smile more. A lot more.
Regardless of whether you are naturally serious or reserved, learn to smile more and enjoy the little things. Share a joke with someone and laugh at other people’s joke, read a funny book or simply smile when you meet someone.
4. Don’t waste your time
Focus on self-improvement instead. Doing things that don’t really matter to you will make you feel bored and make you a boring person. That latest episode of your favorite series is not going to add any value to your life. Focus and do things that add value to your life.
Related: How To Overcome Laziness and Be Productive: 5 Tips
5. Learn about body language
Understanding our own and others’ body language can help us become more social and respond better in social situations. By improving your body language, you can make yourself appear more confident, appealing and attractive.
6. Set some scary goals
Have some small goals for the week, the month or the year that scares you. Aim for something you are not sure you can achieve and put in your best effort to achieve it. If your goals don’t scare you, aim higher. That’s a great way to avoid being a boring person.
7. Be more confident about voicing your opinions
It doesn’t matter whether you agree with others or not in a conversation, what matters is that you boldly share what you think about a particular topic. It will make others see you as independent, thoughtful, confident and definitely not boring.
8. Develop empathy and compassion
Try to take in others’ perspectives and learn to care about them, their values and beliefs. Being empathic and compassionate will help you get more involved and be more interesting.
Related: How Do I Know If I Am Bored Or Depressed
9. Pursue your passions
Be more passionate about your hobbies and interests and invest more time on honing your skills, instead of staying glued to a screen, unless you want to be a boring person.
10. Break out of your routines
Yes, routines are important. But play with them every now and then and tell yourself – screw those routines, if you don’t want to be a boring person anymore. Shake things up a bit and avoid following the same old schedules and things every single day.
11. Learn about interesting things
Read and research about things you are interested in and things you don’t know about. Research online about some fun trivia, read some books about psychology, philosophy or the universe. Gain some interesting knowledge. This can help you make your conversations more interesting and not sound boring.
Lighten up and have some fun
Life can be boring sometimes and most of us can seem dull to others at times. But that doesn’t mean we will not try to improve ourselves and be better. The key is to enjoy what you are doing and have fun doing something small every single day. Whether you enjoy the company of others or cherish your alone time, talk about and do interesting things that add some spice (and value) to your life.
Being a boring person is not a curse. You can easily become a lot more exciting and interesting simply by putting in a little effort.
So go ahead and just have some fun.
Related: What Is Dry Personality: 10 Habits of Extremely Boring People
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