4. Stay with someone else.
The best thing you can do if you are stuck with an abusive person is by staying with someone else. It can be your friend or even your family. Every minute that you are with your abuser, you are putting yourself at risk.
Of course, you cannot be open about that with your abuser, so create an excuse to live with your friends or some family member. Maybe your friend has an accident and she is all alone, and that is why she needs someone to look after her for a few days. Or your parents are not well, and they need you.
Whatever excuse you give, make sure that you say it with a lot of conviction and confidence. Abusive people are very good at detecting lies and pretense. If by any chance they catch your bluff, you will be in more danger than usual.
5. Look out for red flags.
Many people don’t even realize that they are living with an abuser, and tend to brush off all the mean things and the fights as something extremely normal. But it always starts from somewhere, and even before you realize it, you have become a victim of abuse.
Women tend to ignore red flags by convincing themselves that it’s all temporary, and they can change their partners. This is where you go wrong.
Some of the red flags that you should watch out for are the following:
- Emotionally manipulating you.
- Trying to make you feel guilty all the time.
- Control freak (deciding what you will wear, who you will talk to, what you will eat, etc.).
- Excessive possessiveness and jealousy.
- Threatening you and intimidating you all of the time.
- Pushing you away, dismissing you, or giving the silent treatment when they are upset.
Abusers always use power, control, and domination to torment their victims and make sure that you do what they want you to do, no matter what.
Want to know more about which red flags you should watch out for? Read 12 Red Flags You Are Being Psychologically Manipulated
6. Keep your finances in order.
Each day is unpredictable when you are stuck with an abusive person, so it is for the best if you have your own financial safety nest. Avoid having a joint bank account with your abuser, and even if you do, open a new one for yourself. If you ever have to leave suddenly, at least you will financially be sorted.
Having your own money will help you stay afloat on your own, and will also prevent you from going back to your abuser. This is especially helpful for all those victims who have children.
There have been many times when victims of abuse had no other option but to go back to their abusers, due to a lack of financial independence. Try to make sure that doesn’t happen to you.
7. Focus on getting support.
When things get too much and you feel like you just can’t take it anymore, then seek support from wherever you can. You can call up helpline numbers, talk to your friends, and also go for therapy. Several victims tend to have suicidal thoughts due to living with an abusive person, but that is never the solution.
When things seem too bleak, get in touch with qualified mental health professionals and experts so that they can help you through this. You can also contact many shelters who can talk to you and ease your pain.
Looking to know more about why you should always ask for support if you are being abused? Read Living with Abuse: Why Didn’t I Ask for Help?
8. Learn self-defense.
Of course, you won’t be able to go out of your home and take self-defense lessons right now, but that is where the internet comes into play. Self-defense can literally save your life, especially if you are stuck with a physically abusive person.