This ongoing pandemic has brought people closer than ever, especially with their families. Parents, children, grandparents, and spouses are spending more time than ever while isolating together. Then there are some people for whom this is nothing short of their worst nightmare, as being stuck with an abusive person 24/7 puts them in grave danger. Every minute of every day.
With almost the entire world in a total lockdown in order to fight this pandemic, several victims of abuse have no other option other than to isolate with their sexual, physical, and emotional abusers. If you are one of these victims, and you are trying to find ways to protect yourself from your tormentor, here are a few things you can do, to deal with this horrible situation you are in.
Here Are 8 Things You Can Do When Stuck With An Abusive Person
1. Always be prepared.
When you are stuck with an abusive person, then the very first thing that you need to do is to keep yourself prepared. Isolating with your abuser means that you can never be sure when things will escalate and take a dark turn, so it’s important that you know what to do when it does.
Prepare an emergency bag (in secret, of course) which will consist of some clothes, your car keys, medicines, money, credit card, shoes, and some food. Also make sure that your mobile phone is always fully charged so that you can contact helpline numbers, the police or your friends whenever you need it. In case you have children, teach them a code word or a safety word, to help them understand when to leave with you and not ask a ton of questions.
Planning everything ahead and being prepared for the future will help you escape as fast as you can when the time comes. However, make sure that you do all of this very carefully and inconspicuously so that your abuser doesn’t have an inkling about your plans.
2. Establish some boundaries.
When you are co-habiting with your abuser, it is important to set some boundaries. Almost all the time, an abuser absolutely hates it, when their victims try to explain themselves. If you feel that a conversation is going in the wrong direction and can become dangerous for you, then firmly, but calmly ask for some space and a time-out from your partner.
Yes, when you are being abused or when your abuser is saying horrible things to you, it can be mighty difficult to keep your calm. But right now, in this kind of situation that is probably the best thing that will save you and help you stay alive.
But in case, you notice that your tormentor is showing no signs of backing down and is increasingly becoming violent and aggressive, then know that it’s time for you to leave.
Want to know more about how boundaries are important? Read Why You Should Set Boundaries In An Abusive Marriage
3. Indulge in some self-care.
Abuse isn’t always physical; it can be emotional, verbal, and mental too. Changing an abusive person or expecting them to change just because you love them does not always work. So, the best thing you can do for yourself in such a situation is to do everything you can to take care of yourself and love yourself.
Do what works for you the best, especially all those things that make you happy and calm. If you feel overwhelmed with all the negativity, then take a moment to deal with them. All your feelings are genuine and justified, and no, you are not overreacting and there is nothing wrong with you.
Be it reading books, dancing, taking your dog for a walk, cooking or talking to your friends and family, do all those things that give you happiness, and provides you a respite from all the hurt and pain.