Have you ever found yourself wondering if your mother harbors some deep-seated resentment, or even hatred towards you? If you have, then I know that it’s a really tough pill to swallow. How can your mother hate you, and most importantly, how to know if your mother hates you?
Today, we’re diving straight into the realm of family dynamics, exploring the question “why does my mother hate me?”. We will try to understand the signs that give away her true feelings for you, and which may indicate if your mother’s love has taken a dark turn.
Let’s uncover 8 revealing clues that might just help you make sense of the complicated bond you share with your mom. Explore how to know if your mother hates you.
Related: 20 Signs Of A Toxic Mother
How To Know If Your Mother Hates You? 8 Disturbing Signs
1. She never shows any affection towards you.
It can be tough to accept, but it’s possible your mom isn’t showing too much love or affection towards you. We often think a mother’s love should have no limits, but if she hardly ever says “I love you,” it should be something to worry about.
While some mothers are not very fuzzy or expressive with their feelings, there’s a stark contrast between a mom who is simply inexpressive and one who seems cold-hearted and narcissistic.
2. She is never supportive of you.
How to know if your mother hates you? When your mom never backs you up, it might mean she dislikes you. Usually, mothers are like your personal cheer squad and your most enthusiastic supporter.
She stands by you, motivates you, offers advice and helpful feedback, and lends you her shoulder to cry on. She’s supposed to be your safe space, where you can rest peacefully without thinking too much.
However, if love is missing from her side, all these positive aspects of a caring mom won’t be there. You end up having to encourage yourself or lean on other friends and relatives for support.
3. She feels miserable when you are happy.
If you’ve ever thought “why does my mother hate me?”, then know that your happiness makes her miserable. Your mom should naturally feel joy at your achievements rather than being upset by them.
But that’s not always how it goes in real life and some experience this more than others. Imagine getting the promotion you have been working hard for, for a month? Or imagine scoring the winning point in a game? What do you think is her reaction?
If she doesn’t seem excited about what makes you happy, maybe it’s because she sees your wins as losses for herself.
4. She always blames you for her unhappiness and misery.
When your mom keeps telling you that you’re the reason she’s upset, and you’re the reason she’s never felt happy in her life, then it’s very clear that she hates you.
This sort of a treatment gradually takes a toll on you, and before you know it, you have become a very bitter person since you’re always treated as a scapegoat.
But you know what? Your mom blaming you for her unhappiness is not on you, it’s on her. She is simply projecting her insecurities and low self-esteem on you, because she considers you a soft target. Always remember that how she treats you is a reflection of her, not you.
Related: The 10 Types Of Toxic Mothers: Understanding The Traits That Harm Their Children
5. She takes out her anger and frustration on you.
How to know if your mother hates you? She treats you like a punching bag when it comes to taking out her anger. Managing emotions isn’t a strong point for such mothers, which is why you always get caught in the crossfire.
You serve as her stress relief and face unfair criticism if something goes wrong in her life, even when you aren’t responsible for it. Because you are her child, and she is your parent, she feels she has the right to treat you any way she wants, and you are the easier target for her.
In her life, she finds it easier to control you and boost her own ego by picking on you, because she knows that there won’t be any consequences.
6. She always invalidates and dismisses your feelings.
If you have trouble talking to your mother about your tough times, look closely at how your mom and you interact. She might be unintentionally teaching you to bottle up those feelings or maybe she simply ignores them.
If she is going through something hard, it is your “responsibility” to be there for her and resolve her issues. But when the tables turn and it’s her chance to emotionally support you, she is quick to dismiss and invalidate your feelings.
This makes you feel alone and betrayed, and you gradually start to think that your emotions are not worth the time and energy, and this ultimately leads you to bottle everything up.
7. She is abusive.
“Why does my mother hate me?” If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, then this might be a huge reason.
Dealing with an abusive mother can affect you in every aspect of your life; regardless of whether she’s physically, verbally, emotionally, financially, or mentally abusive it’s all damaging for the psyche.
Being abusive isn’t just about physical attacks like hitting or kicking or slapping. Words and certain behaviors can also cause a lot of psychological and emotional harm, sometimes even more so.
It’s crucial for you to learn about abuse patterns so that you can spot them and defend yourself. Keep in mind that nobody should put up with abuse of any kind. You’re entitled to be treated with courtesy and compassion. It’s what you deserve, so don’t settle for less.
8. She always wishes you to fail.
How to know if your mother hates you? Look out for this sign!
It’s deeply saddening to realize that the one person who should have been your biggest cheerleader is the very person always trying to drag you down. If your mother hates you, she will spare no opportunity to highlight your flaws and mistakes.
It’s almost as if she’s sitting on the sidelines, eagerly waiting for you to mess up, just so she can throw an “I told you so” your way. It seems like she has no interest in watching you succeed, rather seeing you fail gives her a sick satisfaction that nothing else can.
Now that we have talked about how to know if your mother hates you, let’s explore what do you do when your mother hates you.
Related: 12 Gripping Movies About Narcissistic Mothers That Depict Moms From Hell
What Do You Do When Your Mother Hates You?
1. Reflect on the situation.
Take some time to reflect about how you feel. Journaling or confiding to a close, trusted friend can help you understand your emotions better, and can also serve as an outlet for your frustration.
This self-reflection can provide insight into the dynamics at play and help you gain clarity, which will in turn help you understand how to handle your mom better.
2. Try to understand who she is as a person.
Try to understand your mother’s perspective, even if it feels unfair and difficult. Sometimes, underlying issues or past experiences can be the reason behind strained relationships.
While it isn’t an excuse to mistreat your own children, understanding her side can help you navigate the situation with empathy and clarity.
3. Consider having an open conversation with her.
What do you do when your mother hates you?
If you feel safe and comfortable enough, consider having an open and transparent conversation with your mother about everything you feel. Express your feelings and concerns calmly, using “I” statements to avoid sounding like you are accusing her.
However, be prepared for different outcomes, as she may not be willing to take accountability for her actions, and may even dump the whole blame on you.
4. Build a strong support network.
Surround yourself with friends and family who provide positivity, support, understanding and love. Build strong relationships with mentors, friends and other family members who can encourage you, guide you and make you feel loved and less alone.
5. Focus on your personal growth and development.
What do you do when your mother hates you? Despite the challenges you face with your mother, don’t forget to focus on your own personal growth. Take time out to pursue your hobbies, interests and goals that make you feel happy, calm and fulfilled.
By investing in yourself and doing things that make you happy, you can become more resilient and find happiness beyond your toxic family dynamics and relationships.
Takeaway
If you keep on asking yourself the question “why does my mother hate me?”, then my heart breaks for you. Living with a mother who dislikes you and always wants to see you fail is not just tough, it’s heartbreaking.
But remember that you are a very, very strong person who has the capability of dealing with this. Know that how she treats you says nothing about you, and everything about her.
Related: What Is A Devouring Mother? Overcoming A Narcissistic Mother’s Toxic Grip
So, according to you, how to know if your mother hates you? And what do you do when your mother hates you? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
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