16. We’re on time once a year.
In the fall when we’re supposed to turn our clocks back, but we forget because we’re lazy type B people, we’re actually on time the next day.
17. If it’s really, really important, we can usually make it on time with a little extra planning.
For example, last week I had to get my son to the hospital for his surgery by 11 am. I planned on leaving my house by 8 am. I got there at 11:20. Voila! On time, is.
18. “On time” means something different to us.
“On time” means anything within 20 minutes. If we’re supposed to be there at 7 pm and we arrive at 7:20 pm, we’re technically “on time.” Because we live in a world where numbers mean nothing.
19. It’s cause for celebration when we arrive on time.
When we get to work on time and no one is around to notice, we have a burning need to call up all our coworkers just to make sure they know we’re on time.
20. Donuts are key.
But we don’t do that because somewhere in our warped minds, we believe that no one has really noticed that we come in late every day.
I think I came to this determination several years ago when I was late to work every single day. My boss pretended not to notice because I brought him donuts every day. He gained 20 pounds that year and I kept my job.
21. We’re actually pretty chill.
Finally, people who are chronically late tend to be Type B personalities. The good news is that we don’t get upset if you’re ever late.
We probably won’t even notice. We’ll still be at home, fixing our hair, checking Facebook, and folding laundry.