Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

 / 

, ,
Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers: Understanding Their Struggles

Having a narcissistic mother is, safe to say, one of the most traumatic things to go through. Sons of narcissistic mothers look at the world and relationships in an entirely skewed way, and this is due to the lessons they have learned growing up with a narcissistic mother.

KEY POINTS

  • The worldview of a young man whose mother has narcissistic personality disorder becomes skewed.
  • NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, among other traits.
  • Once one have been gaslit, they may always suspect the people they are close with may be holding matches.

Research has shown that children of narcissistic parents may struggle with issues such as self-esteem, boundaries, and identity formation. However, little research has been conducted on the specific relationship issues that the sons of narcissistic mothers may face.

The studies that have been done indicate that narcissistic parenting can have a number of negative effects on children. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that children of narcissistic parents have lower self-esteem and are more prone to anxiety and depression (Konrath, et al., 2011).

A separate study in the same journal found that children of narcissistic parents are more prone to developing narcissistic traits themselves, as well as experiencing difficulties in relationships with others (Barry, et al., 2003).

Related: 20 Signs Of A Toxic Mother

The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

When you are a young man and your mother is a narcissist, your view of the world becomes skewed, because you are commanded to see it through your mother’s eyes and do her bidding.

Eventually, you see (or imagine) that most, if not all, relationships are like this. As a result, you may become programmed to steer clear of relationships and not allow yourself to be vulnerable as an adult.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for constant attention and validation.

Narcissistic individuals may have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, and their behaviour can have a detrimental effect on the people around them with particularly long-lasting damaging effects on their children.

Sons of narcissistic mothers
Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

This is one reason why a focus on personal and relational identity—which became so popular with Gen Zers—has now entered mainstream culture. If you don’t know who you are or have a positive sense of identity, it is difficult to relate to another person on an intimate level.

In extreme cases, it becomes hard to relate to people or groups generally, because of social anxiety. When you are not certain about who you are and you have low self-esteem—because someone was always telling you that you weren’t good enough—it is difficult to trust other people or believe they are being authentic when they show kindness.

Once you have been gaslit, you will always suspect the people you are close with may be holding matches. And without trust, true intimacy is almost impossible to find. These issues directly impact your ability to have any kind of meaningful relationship, because you are always questioning yourself and the ones who love you.

Sons of narcissistic mothers often struggle to break free from their mothers. The book, The Sons of Narcissistic Mothers, by Randi Fine and Shari Schreiber, LMFT, is dedicated to helping men overcome the effects of growing up with a narcissistic mother.

Related: How To Know You Have A Narcissistic Mother Wound

It offers practical advice and support for adult sons of narcissistic mothers who have escaped from, or are in the process of escaping from, their mother’s toxic legacy of smothering love, manipulation, and control.

The guidebook is intended to help them come to terms with the reality of having grown up with a narcissistic mother and to help them move on.

Sons of narcissistic mothers and how to heal
Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

If this has been your experience, know that it will take time, and therapy, but you can heal. You can work through your childhood trauma and discover your true potential as an adult.

In doing so, you can experience greater joy and fulfilment and create a life that works the way you want and love the people who bring you happiness.


Written By Barton Goldsmith
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
adult sons of narcissistic mothers
Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Are You The Scapegoat In A Narcissistic Family? 8 Scapegoat Roles

Scapegoat Of A Narcissistic Family? Types Of Scapegoats

Being the scapegoat of a narcissistic family is tough and confusing. You might feel like you are always the problem, no matter what you do. But did you know there are actually different types of family scapegoats? Yup, there are 8 distinct kinds, each with it’s own unique challenges.

But, who is a scapegoat really? When it comes a narcissistic family, there’s always that one person who is unfairly blamed and criticized for everything that goes wrong, even when it’s not their fault. They often bear the brunt of family abuse, feeling like they just can’t catch a break. That is who a scapegoat is.

Understanding the different types of narcissistic family scapegoats can help you make sense of your experiences and see that you are not alone. Whether you are the “truth-teller” who always speaks up or the “rebel” who refuses to conform, knowing your role and where



Up Next

10 Reasons Why Narcissists Never Grow Up Emotionally

Reasons Why Narcissists Never Grow Up Emotionally

Narcissists never grow up emotionally, and trying to deal with them can make you feel like you are dealing with a tantrum-throwing, difficult teenager. Have you ever wondered why some people just can’t seem to act their age, no matter how old they get? Yeah, you might be standing opposite a narcissist.

Narcissists are stuck in a cycle of immaturity that’s both fascinating and frustrating. Be it their constant need for attention or their severe lack of empathy, there’s a lot going on beneath the surface.

That’s why we are going to talk about one of the biggest reasons why they are the way they are. It’s because narcissists never grow emotionally. But why narcissists never grow up? What are the reasons behind their emotionally stunted psyche?

Let’s find out!



Up Next

How To Forgive Narcissistic Parents: 8 Ways To Heal And Move Forward

How To Forgive Narcissistic Parents: Tips To Find Healing

Dealing with narcissistic parents is tough, and trying to forgive them for the way they have treated you can feel impossible and unfair, especially if they are not sorry for their actions. So, how to forgive narcissistic parents?

Forgiving narcissistic parents is important for your own mental and emotional well-being. Always remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to find peace and healing, even when they don’t change.

Today, we are going to help you navigate the tricky waters of forgiveness, offering 8 practical steps to heal and move forward. Whether you are still struggling with past trauma or dealing with your parents now, be rest assured, these tips can help you feel empowered.

So, are you ready to start? Let’s go!



Up Next

11 Effects Of A Narcissistic Parent on Their Children: Parenting Poison

Effects Of A Narcissistic Parent: Parenting Poison

Growing up with a narcissistic parent can leave deep scars that shape who you become. The effects of a narcissistic parent can sneak into every part of your life, from how you see yourself to how you connect with others.

If you have ever felt like you’re constantly seeking approval, struggling to set boundaries, or dealing with a never-ending fear of abandonment, then you are not alone. These are just a few ways narcissistic parents damage their children.

Today, we are going to explore how it feels to be children of narcissistic parents and the damage they cause.

Related:



Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic Manipulation: Sneaky Phrases That Signal Trouble

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twisting them to control or belittle. So, are you curious to know the signs of romantic manipulation, and the things manipulative partners say?

Whether you’re navigating your own love life, or just looking out for your friends, this article will help you spot the subtle signs of emotional trickery. So, are you ready to dive in?

Related:



Up Next

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? Let’s Settle The Debate Once And For All

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? Important Things To Know

Are narcissists born or made? Delve into the age-old debate as we explore whether nature or nurture shapes this complex personality trait. Uncover the secrets behind pathological narcissism!

Narcissists can be hard to empathize with, but research on inherited narcissism shows they didn’t choose to be that way; they bear scars from childhood.

Traditionally, childrearing, particularly by the mother, was considered the cause of narcissism. In recent years, more research and twin studies have also looked at genetic factors.



Up Next

8 Major Reasons You’re Attracted to Narcissists and How to Break the Cycle

Attracted to Narcissists? Here Are Revealing Reasons Why

How many time have you found yourself irresistibly drawn to someone who seemed perfect at first but turned out to be a self-absorbed narcissist? Well, you’re not alone. There are a surprising number of us who keep getting pulled into the orbit of these charismatic, but toxic individuals. But why are we attracted to narcissists?

Whether it’s their initial charm, their confidence, or something deeper within you, the reasons you are attracted to narcissists are as fascinating, as they are frustrating.

Today, we are going to answer the age-old question “why do I attract narcissists?”, find out more about why this keeps on happening and also talk about how to stop attracting narcissists.

Rela