No matter how much of an amazing person you might be, and no matter what you achieve in life, there is always going to be someone who will never be happy for you, and always try to bring you down to their level.
We learn so much during our mid to late twenties. We of course learn about ourselves, what our core values are, what we can accomplish, what we are hoping to achieve, and what we still need to work on in order to keep growing as a person. We also learn a lot about the people we surround ourselves with. The friends, family, co-workers, classmates – whoever they are and for whatever reasons – they are in our lives.
We eventually learn who’s here for the long haul and who’s just here for a temporary stay. We learn who truly has our back and who doesn’t. We learn who has resentment towards us and who genuinely wants to see us succeed. We learn who we can trust and depend on, and who we would never tell our secrets to or rely on for anything. All of this learning comes with time.
Throughout this process, we sometimes, unfortunately, are forced to remove the individuals in our lives who have become toxic. But somewhere on a scale between toxicity and a healthy relationship are those people who can just never be happy for anyone (except maybe for themselves). These people are on the toxic side of the scale.
You probably don’t know they even carry this quality until their true colors are (eventually) revealed. The thing about these people is: when we are expressing our happiness, or spreading joy, or we’re celebrating something GOOD in our lives, these people are unable and unwilling to share these moments with us. They will either try to sabotage that happiness, tear you down, make it all about them instead or simply be negative and ensure you feel their negative energy.
There are some who will try and force it or fake it, pretending to be happy for you, but we always know deep down when it’s disingenuous.
We often become upset or hurt that these individuals can’t just be happy for us. We try our best not to take it personally, but sometimes that feeling is unavoidable. “Why don’t they want to celebrate with me?” “This is a happy moment, I just want them to be there with me.” “I’m always proud of his/her accomplishments, why can’t they feel the same way towards me?”
We often internalize this person’s behavior and begin questioning ourselves. This is such a disservice to ourselves. When we should be focusing on that happy moment or achievement, or celebrating, or rejoicing – we end up shifting our focus to the one person who isn’t supporting us or sharing in our joy.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to not internalize their actions, and to remember these real reasons for why those people choose to never be happy for anyone:
1. They’re miserable with their own lives.
2. Misery LOVES company…and they can’t relate to you anymore because you aren’t miserable. All they can do now is try to deny you of your happiness and opt-out of celebrating or acknowledging. This is their attempt at getting you back down to their level.
3. They choose to feel jealousy and envy instead of empowering others with what they have to offer.