Everyone has met somebody who, physical appearance aside, is just truly, deeply appealing. Whether they are physically attractive or not, members of the opposite sex flock to them in droves, and thought you’d like to be annoyed by that, you might actually have a bit of a crush on them yourself. You just want to get to know them better – and so does everyone else.
Whether we are male or female, each of us likely spends hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars over the course of our lives in an effort to improve our physical appearance. We sweat at the gym, buy flattering clothes, shave, bathe, and style our hair in order to maintain our physical appeal – but how much time do we spend cultivating that curious internal magnetism that is actually the basis of most attraction?
BELOW ARE SIX SIMPLE HABITS THAT CAN INCREASE YOUR CHARISMA, CONFIDENCE, AND SENSE OF SELF.
1. EMPOWER YOURSELF!
The Law of Attraction dictates that we tend to arrive at the outcome which we most expect. Of course this principle does not always hold true – unfortunately for my toddler, who expected cookies for dinner – however, there is certainly something to it. When we radiate a genuine confidence in our actions, others tend to believe in our goals as well. After all, if we don’t believe we deserve our desired outcome, why should the rest of the world?
Focusing on reasons why we should reach our goal puts us in a more confident mindset, and genuine confidence is an infinitely attractive trait. It also helps us to perform at our best. A teenager asking a girl to a school dance is much more likely to get a “yes” if he is smiling, standing tall, and cracking jokes that if he is staring at the floor and mumbling. The message that the latter gives is that he doesn’t think she should want to go to the dance with him. This might, in turn, make her doubt her attraction to him in the first place. However, a wide smile and clever joke will make her feel comfortable, connected, and excited for the fun-filled evening ahead.
A good way to empower yourself before a big moment like this is to write down ten reasons why the person would want to say yes. Once you internalize these reasons, even if you are denied, you will feel that it is their loss and find it easier to move on from the rejection.
Even more effective than doing this before a big moment is to practice it in your daily life. By consciously noticing when you elicit a smile, or when your hair looks great, or when your speech was well received, you are training your brain to look for these positive traits in yourself and, in turn, to see yourself in a flattering light. When you see yourself as an appealing, clever, magnanimous person, others will too.
2. TAKE TIME TO MEDITATE.
Most people feel stressed and unsure of themselves when entering a new social situation. Although this is completely natural and understandable, it is far from the best mindset to be in when you want to give off a good impression. A simple trick to counteract this is to learn how to meditate.
Meditation has been shown to lower stress levels and in particular the traits of anxiety, impulsiveness, and worry, all of which often lead to social blunders. It also strengthens your mental strength and focus, creativity, and memory, qualities which are crucial to good conversation and building relationships. Best of all, it only takes twenty minutes a day.