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13 Signs You Are A DemiSexual

Signs You Are A Demi Sexual

“A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It’s more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality” 

Demisexuality is the cross between sexuality and asexuality.

You are not repulsed by the idea of physical love or are not disinterested in making out like asexuals nor do you engage in sex as a means of purely physical gratification.

You lie in between the spectrum wherein you do enjoy making out but under specific conditions wherein you need to feel a strong emotional bond or mental compatibility to get intimate with someone.

If you are the type of person who experiences attraction to someone only after connecting with them mentally and emotionally on a level that dives deep below the surface, you may be a demisexual.

Can you relate with this definition?

Demisexual - a person who

Read on to find out the 13 tell tale signs that show that you may be a Demi Sexual:

1). Friendship is a huge part of your relationship

If you are a demi sexual, then you want to connect with someone on all levels: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. You are looking for someone with whom you can be completely naked -in the body and in mind.

You want to take your time to know someone and let the relationship grow organically. You do not rush into a relationship with someone until you have formed a solid friendship with them.
You value emotional support, open communication, comfort and trust in your relationships.
You need to feel the ease, comfort, and warmth of friendship before you start liking someone or feel sexually attracted to someone.


2). You enjoy physical love but only under specific conditions

You are not repulsed by the idea of making out but you enjoy it only under specific conditions.
Making love is enjoyable to you when you feel an emotional bond or mental compatibility with someone.
Physical love for you is the form of deeply connecting with someone. It is the expression of love and intimacy that you feel for your partner and physical touch serves as a medium to get to know and appreciate your partner better.


3). The idea of sleeping with someone is more exciting to you than the idea of making love

You love intimacy in relationships. You could spend the entire night cuddling up with your partner or stargazing or just reading books with them and not miss having being physical.
You crave emotional intimacy in relationships.


4). You have always felt different while growing up.

You’ve always felt like an outsider. While your friends were fascinated with their crushes and first kisses, these things did not interest you.
You were more interested in human behavior and personality traits and forming friendships.


5). Your attraction towards someone is not just based on looks

For you a big part of liking someone is knowing their overall personality, you do not get turned on simply by good looks and therefore dating apps like Tinder do not work for you.
You get turned out on by personality traits like wit, kindness, and intelligence and you don’t get how people can just swipe right and left on the basis of good looks and decide their potential mates.


6). You’re a sapiosexual and get high on conversations

“If your thoughts cannot touch my soul, then do not bother to reach for my flesh.” ~ Julie Moon

If you are a demisexual then you will closely relate to being sapiosexual. For you, the brain is the most important organ.
You get turned on by intelligent, seamless conversations.
You don’t care about how good looking someone is or whether they have six-pack abs; they will not appeal to you until they can’t engage in meaningful and organic conversations with you.


7). Liking someone for you is a big deal

It’s so difficult and rare for you to like someone because you look for deeper connections and intimacy and therefore when you actually like someone you know it’s a big deal.
You never take your feelings for granted and are quite expressive and affectionate once you find a like-minded partner.
Your relationship is based on a strong foundation of mutual respect, trust, and genuine connection and you do your best to nurture it.


8). You’re not commitment phobic

You take your time to get in a relationship but once you do get into one, you’re totally committed to the relationship.
Once you find the right person, you love with no holds barred.
You believe that a strong relationship requires teamwork and nurturing and you give it you’re all.


9). You long for meaningful and deep relationships

While some may think that you are a loner and don’t like to be physically intimate but the truth is that you crave pragmatic, mature and deep love.
You don’t want to be in mindless, immature, codependent relationships.
You long to be with someone who is both a home and adventure, someone who is both your best friend and lover.
You want to be physically intimate with someone who gets you mentally and emotionally.


10). You’ve some interesting crazy fantasies

If you’re a demisexual, you’re not asexual or disinterested in being physical. You just like to have a holistic approach towards it. You want someone to make love to your mind, body, and soul.
You want to engage in it on deeper levels, you have very interesting, deep fantasies and you enjoy touch that goes beyond the body and wants your partner to get your sapiosexual juices flowing.


11). Your friends think you’ve very high standards.

Your friends think you are a prude and have very high standards whereas in reality, you are just not interested in surface level intimacy.
You have romantic fantasies but you want to make love to someone with whom you connect on a deeper level.


12) You don’t understand the hookup culture.

While your friends find partners in bars or Tinder, you just don’t get the hookup culture.
The concept of hanging out with a stranger at a bar and being intimate with them is something you can’t wrap your mind around.
For you, the probability of finding a potential lover in a bookstore is higher than finding someone in a bar.
You would rather just chill out with your friends over coffee or have a quirky conversation with a stranger to get to know them better than flirt with strangers in the bar.


13). You don’t go looking for casual hookups

When you crave physical gratification, you don’t go searching for mindless hookups. You would rather satisfy yourself than be with someone with whom you don’t connect on a deeper level.
You would save the moments of deep intimacy for someone who deeply cares about and shares a strong bond with you.

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Shweta Advani

An HR consultant by profession, a slam poet and freelance writer.Avid reader,dancer and yoga enthusiast. When I am not reading or writing, I star gaze or take long walks in nature.View Author posts