One of the best ways to help someone who’s struggling with Quiet BPD is to simply offer your support and make sure that they know that you’ll be there for them. You might not be able to understand exactly what’s going on inside their heart and mind, but you can make yourself available to them if they are ready to reach out.
Even though their push-pull pattern can be challenging, try not to desert or punish them. Set kind and firm boundaries, give them space to come to terms with their own struggles and try not to patronize or attempt to rescue them.
Ultimately, understand that it is not on you to alter their path. You can be a caring but respectful ally and that is enough.
Their behavior may not make sense from your perspective, but please remember that their symptoms are a result of unspeakable pain and trauma. Whatever it is that they did or are doing, they do so to survive.
If you are able to show your friend or family member that you are there for them with an open heart, then when they feel safe enough, they will open up to you.
Many people with BPD are incredibly gifted, sensitive, and creative. They have a lot to offer the world. If they can find a way to heal from their past and learn to manage their stormy emotions, they can channel their empathy and creativity to become the best lovers, artists, and empathic leaders of the world.
“I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation.” ― Elie Wiesel
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Written By Imi Lo
Originally Appeared In Eggshell Therapy