Have you ever heard of inner child healing, and how it can help you resolve issues that might crop up in your adult life?
Many, many years ago I noticed a pattern in my romantic relationships where eventually my boyfriends would leave me ‘to go home’. One boyfriend actually moved in with me, leaving his home state and his family to do so. But it didn’t take long for him to conform to my pattern and leave me, going home to his family. Each relationship ended this way and it was very painful. It just kept happening.
Later on, when I had started my ‘spiritual’ journey and inner child healing, I came across Regression Therapy and decided to give it a go with the intention of healing this relationship pattern. I had done this one enough and now it was time to get the lesson so I could move on.
Has anything from your childhood ever affected your adult life? Read How Your Childhood Shapes Your Adult Life
In this process, I had regressed back to my birth scenario and as I witnessed this very important part of my new life, I got to see the details that I had obviously forgotten. I saw what a hard time both my mother and I were having and got to see that we both nearly didn’t make it through. I was born footling breach and back in those days performing a Caesarean wasn’t the medical staff’s first option.
So I struggled my way out and could feel my body being so close to giving up but there was a part of me that knew I would make it. While this was all going on, I saw my father pacing up and down the hallway looking very nervous. I could hear his thoughts and how anxious he was as he was being updated with the progress the birth was making.
His focus was on my mother and his fear of losing her was quite strong and I could really feel it. Maybe it was because I am an Empath that I felt his feelings so strongly than most would. “Oh god, just let my wife make it through please, I can’t live without her,” he thought, this was his most dominant thought. I felt his anger towards me, ‘the baby’, blaming me for making it all so difficult.
In those days, fathers were not allowed in the birthing rooms, and because my father was having problems dealing with his strong emotions, he decided to go home to the rest of his family to await the news of the outcome. Did you notice that? Decided ‘to go home’ …. The baby that I was then heard these thoughts and as most children do, felt responsible.
The baby me could feel his emotions even while having to work so hard just to make it. Maybe that was why I nearly gave up so at least my mother would make it, even if I didn’t. I felt abandoned by him, he could have stayed and helped us emotionally but he wasn’t strong enough to do that. Just like the men in my relationships weren’t strong enough.
Most people wouldn’t be aware of how much their babies are in tune with what is going on around them during the birthing process. Our birth scenario is like our blueprint for the life we are about to embark on. Even down to our timing, such as someone who was premature, will always show up early. I was six weeks premature and you can always count on me to be the first to arrive.
Do you share a healthy relationship with your father? Read How an Unhealthy Father-Daughter Relationship Damages a Daughter’s Adult Relationships
Just like the action my father chose to take that day, so the men in my life were attracted to me because that was the lesson I needed to learn, one of the lessons my higher self wanted me to get this time around. When I had the chance to see this ‘act’ played out as an adult and given this knowledge allowed me to express the emotions that I couldn’t that day. I allowed my inner child to grieve, as I sobbed with this realization because I couldn’t at the time, as I was too busy just trying to survive.