How Inner Child Healing Can Help You Have Healthy Adult Relationships


How Inner Child Healing Can Help You Have Healthy Adult Relationships

Have you ever heard of inner child healing, and how it can help you resolve issues that might crop up in your adult life?

Many, many years ago I noticed a pattern in my romantic relationships where eventually my boyfriends would leave me ‘to go home’.  One boyfriend actually moved in with me, leaving his home state and his family to do so.  But it didn’t take long for him to conform to my pattern and leave me, going home to his family.  Each relationship ended this way and it was very painful.  It just kept happening.

Later on, when I had started my ‘spiritual’ journey and inner child healing, I came across Regression Therapy and decided to give it a go with the intention of healing this relationship pattern.  I had done this one enough and now it was time to get the lesson so I could move on.

Has anything from your childhood ever affected your adult life? Read How Your Childhood Shapes Your Adult Life

In this process, I had regressed back to my birth scenario and as I witnessed this very important part of my new life, I got to see the details that I had obviously forgotten.  I saw what a hard time both my mother and I were having and got to see that we both nearly didn’t make it through.  I was born footling breach and back in those days performing a Caesarean wasn’t the medical staff’s first option.

So I struggled my way out and could feel my body being so close to giving up but there was a part of me that knew I would make it.  While this was all going on, I saw my father pacing up and down the hallway looking very nervous.  I could hear his thoughts and how anxious he was as he was being updated with the progress the birth was making.

His focus was on my mother and his fear of losing her was quite strong and I could really feel it.  Maybe it was because I am an Empath that I felt his feelings so strongly than most would.  “Oh god, just let my wife make it through please, I can’t live without her,” he thought, this was his most dominant thought.  I felt his anger towards me, ‘the baby’, blaming me for making it all so difficult.

In those days, fathers were not allowed in the birthing rooms, and because my father was having problems dealing with his strong emotions, he decided to go home to the rest of his family to await the news of the outcome.  Did you notice that? Decided ‘to go home’ …. The baby that I was then heard these thoughts and as most children do, felt responsible. 

The baby me could feel his emotions even while having to work so hard just to make it.  Maybe that was why I nearly gave up so at least my mother would make it, even if I didn’t. I felt abandoned by him, he could have stayed and helped us emotionally but he wasn’t strong enough to do that. Just like the men in my relationships weren’t strong enough.

Most people wouldn’t be aware of how much their babies are in tune with what is going on around them during the birthing process. Our birth scenario is like our blueprint for the life we are about to embark on. Even down to our timing, such as someone who was premature, will always show up early. I was six weeks premature and you can always count on me to be the first to arrive.

Do you share a healthy relationship with your father? Read How an Unhealthy Father-Daughter Relationship Damages a Daughter’s Adult Relationships

Just like the action my father chose to take that day, so the men in my life were attracted to me because that was the lesson I needed to learn, one of the lessons my higher self wanted me to get this time around. When I had the chance to see this ‘act’ played out as an adult and given this knowledge allowed me to express the emotions that I couldn’t that day.  I allowed my inner child to grieve, as I sobbed with this realization because I couldn’t at the time, as I was too busy just trying to survive.

Inner child healing allows us to go back and complete the emotional processes that for some reason or another we weren’t able to at the timeIt is in these moments, due to not being able to complete the process, that we make decisions or form belief systems that do not actually serve us.

The belief that I formed at my birth was ‘Men are not there for me when I need them, they just leave and go home’.  That belief system kept playing out until I was able to go back, properly grieve, get the lesson and move on.

This simple inner child healing enabled me to change that pattern and then with the men that I had relationships with it was actually me that ended the relationship when I realized that I couldn’t see myself spending the rest of my life with them. That was until I met my husband and we have lived ‘happily ever after’.

I have experienced many forms of healing/therapy in my life and this process has been the only one where I have been able to see a change. We can do all sorts of ‘work’ on ourselves but unless we can change the belief system that was formed in childhood (usually by the time we turn seven), we can end up going around in circles just to see the pattern returning yet again.

Every child needs four experiences in their childhood to grow up to be their authentic self.  They are known as the four ‘A’s, Approval, Attention, Affection, and Affirmation. Without these four experiences, we may form unhealthy belief systems.

Without the four ‘A’s we can experience difficulties in our adult life such as anger issues, depression and anxiety, abandonment issues, co-dependency, abusive relationship patterns, Borderline personality disorder (BPD), low self-esteem, self-criticism, and self-sabotageWe can, in the worst-case scenarios, experience trauma as a result of emotional, physical and sexual abuse.

It does take courage to have a good look at what experiences we’ve had and how it formed our belief systems and what a wonderful experience that can be.  To uncover why events in our lives don’t turn out the way we want them to and to learn what we need to do to turn that around is very powerful. Getting to know who we really are without those distorted views.

Taking the journey to discover who we once were, our authentic selves, before the learned behavior from our caretakers, as children along with false beliefs formed, we can peel back the untruths that have buried that empowered little being.

If you want to know more about inner child healing, then you might find this video interesting:

How Inner Child Healing Can Help You Have Healthy Adult Relationships
How Inner Child Healing Can Help You Have Healthy Adult Relationships

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Martyr Complex Meaning: 5 Signs Signaling a Sacrificial Syndrome

Martyr Complex Meaning: Five Signs of The Sacrificial Syndrome

Ever met someone who always puts others’ needs before their own, sacrificing their own well-being for others? They may exhibit a pattern of self-sacrifice and recognition for their suffering known as the martyr complex. Let’s explore martyr complex meaning, martyr complex symptoms, martyr complex example and how to deal with someone with martyr complex.

Martyr Complex Meaning

Martyr complex refers to a psychological pattern in which individuals adopt a self-sacrificial role, assuming the position of a

Up Next

Understanding Atelophobia Symptoms: Fear Of Imperfection Unveiled

Understanding Atelophobia Symptoms And Seven Ways To Overcome

Do you ever find yourself plagued by self-doubt, constantly fearing failure, or feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to be perfect? If so, you might be experiencing atelophobia symptoms, a condition that affects countless individuals worldwide. 

Let us explore the depths of atelophobia, exploring its definition, symptoms, and related factors. By gaining a deeper understanding of this condition, we can empower ourselves and others to overcome the paralyzing fear of imperfection and embrace personal growth and self-acceptance.

Atelophobia Definition

Up Next

Electronic Dementia: Understanding The Impact of Screen Time on Brain Health

electronic dementia

Are you constantly glued to your smartphone, scrolling through social media or binge-watching your favorite series? Do you find it hard to concentrate or remember things? If so, you might be experiencing the effects of a modern-day phenomenon known as electronic dementia or digital dementia. 

In this digital age, where electronic devices dominate our lives, it’s crucial to understand the impact they can have on our cognitive abilities. Let us delve into digital dementia meaning, explore its causes, and discuss potential options for digital dementia treatment. 

What is Electronic Dementia?

Digital dementia meaning:

Up Next

How To Recover Repressed Memories: 20 Ways To Rediscover Your Story

How To Recover Repressed Memories: Helpful Strategies

Have you ever wondered about the hidden chambers of your mind, where memories lie concealed, waiting to be revealed? Repressed memories, the enigmatic phenomena that can be both elusive and powerful, have long fascinated psychologists and individuals alike. Let’s find out how to recover repressed memories.

What are Repressed Memories?

Repressed memories are memories that have been unconsciously blocked from our conscious awareness. These memories, locked away in the depths of our subconsciou

Up Next

What Is Eldest Daughter Syndrome: 10 Key Signs and Lasting Impacts Of Being The First Child

What Is Eldest Daughter Syndrome: Ten Key Signs and Impact

Are you familiar with the term – Eldest Daughter Syndrome? It’s a phenomenon that delves into the emotional weight often placed on the shoulders of the oldest daughters in many families, right from a tender age.

From tending to their younger siblings’ needs and assisting with daily household chores to taking care of ailing parents or even handling mundane tasks like sorting online orders, eldest daughters frequently bear a substantial but often invisible load of domestic responsibilities from their early years.

Now, you might wonder, what’s the harm in this? Shouldn’t older children naturally lend a helping hand and look out for their younger siblings? Isn’t it believed that girls are inherently better at caregiving? These commonly held beliefs are so deeply ingrain

Up Next

Waiting Mode Anxiety: Why It’s Holding You Back from Taking Action

What Is Waiting Mode Anxiety? 8 Ways To Overcome It

In today’s fast-paced world, where every moment counts, the concept of “waiting mode anxiety” has become an all-too-familiar experience for many.

Whether you’re awaiting an important meeting, a doctor’s appointment, or any other significant event, the relentless countdown can hijack your focus and productivity.

In this article, we’ll delve into the nuances of waiting mode anxiety, understand its underlying causes, and explore practical ways to break free from its clutches.

What is Wa

Up Next

Your Mental Health Matters: 5 Habits You Need To Let Go Of Right Now

mental health matters

Everyone talks about the importance of having good physical health, and a healthy and strong body. But what about mental health, or rather the importance of good mental health? Just like physical health, mental health matters equally. 

As caregiver to my mom and sister, both of whom were diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I got good at pretending I was fine. From the outside looking in, I played the role of someone who had it all together.

On the rare occasion when somebody would ask me, “Are you okay?” or “What’s the matter?” my automatic responses would be “I’m fine” and “Nothing.” Few people ever bothered to