7 Warning Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship And How to Rediscover Your Sense of Self


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Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Are you starting to feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Do you have this persistent feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore? You know, that feeling when you are so caught up in someone else’s world, that you forget who you are? Well, these are just some signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common feeling, and lots of people experience this. If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, then this article can be a godsend for you.

Let’s delve into the all those signs of losing yourself in a relationship, so that you can stop yourself from doing so (at least to some extent!). And not just this, we will also talk about what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship. So, are you ready to explore this? Let’s go then!

Related: The Joy and Terror Of Losing Yourself in Relationship

7 Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

1. You don’t talk about your feelings and wants anymore, instead you always put them on the backburner.

More often than not, you tend to bottle up your feelings and emotions, and instead choose to prioritize your partners. Have you ever thought why you do this? Do you do it to gain their approval or make them feel special? Or you just want to avoid causing trouble?

Ignoring your own wants to make your partner feel more special may feel good in the beginning, but in the long run, it’s really not good for you. By overlooking your desires and happiness, you will gradually move towards emotional exhaustion.

The more you pretend your feelings don’t matter, the more you are going to stoke the fires of resentment and regret.

2. You have stopped doing the things that made you happy.

It’s easy to to lose yourself in a relationship, especially if you are a woman. Women generally always prioritize everyone around them, except for themselves. You may notice that all the things that made you happy, you don’t indulge in those things anymore.

Maybe you liked singing, but because of various responsibilities, you have stopped practicing it. Maybe you liked going for walks outside, or maybe you liked going to the salon to treat yourself sometimes. But now, you have stopped doing all of this.

You neglect your own interests and desires, and you are so focused on your marriage or relationship, that you no longer dedicate any time to yourself. This is one of the biggest signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

3. You are always the one who is compromising.

When was the last time your spouse or your family did something that you wanted? When was the last time they indulged you, instead of it being the other way around? Simple choices like where to eat, what to watch, what to plan for the weekend – everything is decided by others, and you are okay with it.

You often give up your preferences in favor of theirs, especially when you disagree. Instead of sticking to your choices, you usually agree to what they want, even if you don’t like it at all, and just to maintain the peace.

It’s fine to compromise occasionally, but doing it too much can lead you to feel alone, sad and taken for granted.

4. You turn to unhealthy habits to deal with the emptiness within.

Do you feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Does it feel like real happiness seems like a distant dream right now; it’s almost unattainable? If you feel like this most of the time, then take this as one of the major signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

When you feel empty and lost inside, you turn towards unhealthy coping habits to deal with those difficult feelings. Netflix marathons, binge eating, drinking too much, sleeping all day, and even not taking care of your personal hygiene – these are all major signs you feel tired and lost.

These things will only make you feel better and happier temporarily, instead these things will cause you more harm in the long run. Trying to fill the void inside with such things will only make matters worse.

Related: 12 Signs You Are Losing Yourself In Your Relationship

5. You have no social life of your own anymore.

Your once busy social schedule is no longer full, rather you spend much less time, or perhaps none at all, with your close friends and family. Your world has shrunk to just your relationship or marriage, and you hardly step out of that bubble.

You hardly speak to your friends, nor do you make time for them. It takes days for you to reply to their texts or respond to their calls, that is if you choose to answer at all.

If you stopped communicating with the important people in your life, you may be losing your sense of self, or maybe you have already lost yourself in a relationship.

6. Your opinions are also not your own anymore.

It’s one thing to change your mind after hearing a convincing argument from your partner, it’s another to completely change your views just to avoid conflict or because you’re uncomfortable with disagreement.

Do you think exactly like your partner now? Have you completely let go of your beliefs and opinions, and have fully embraced theirs? Are you scared that if you strongly put forward your opinions, you might have to be in the middle of an argument?

If you answered yes to all these questions, then these are signs of losing yourself in a relationship. Constantly adopting your partner’s point of view without considering your own values and beliefs is not a mark of a healthy relationship.

7. Your partner has become the center of your Universe.

If the only thing that matters in your life is your partner and nothing or no one else, then unfortunately, you have lost yourself in a relationship. If you are always doing what they want you to do, and never consider what might make you feel happy, then it’s a huge red flag.

Not only that, you also feel accountable for their happiness and emotions, adopting them as if they were your own. You strive to meet all their needs and address all their issues.

Prioritizing your partner and trying to respect their wishes is a good thing to do, but too much of it and at the cost of your mental sanity? Not so much. You are your own person, so maybe you should think about prioritizing yourself too sometimes.

Now that we have talked about the signs of losing yourself in a relationship, let’s talk about what you can do to prevent that.

What To Do When You Lose Yourself In A Relationship?

If you relate to these signs of losing yourself in a relationship, then you should know that it’s indeed possible to find yourself again.

1. Make plans and spend time with your friends.

Just like spending quality time with your partner is important, spending time with your friends is equally important. Making plans with them occasionally can help you reconnect with them and help you remember who you are outside of your relationship.

Why don’t you plan a trip with your friends? Or meet them once a week for coffee and catch up? Plans don’t have to be extravagant, doing something simple together works too.

Related: He’s Not The Sun, You Are

2. Focus on taking better care of yourself.

The only way you can ensure your happiness and your partner’s is by taking better care of yourself, be it physically, emotionally and mentally. You cannot hope to have a healthy relationship if you keep on ignoring your personal needs.

Most people refuse to believe this, but the key to a healthy relationship is self-care. The more you take care of yourself, the more you will be able to turn up in a positive way for your partner.

3. Open up about your feelings and be honest.

Be clear about how you feel, what works for you or doesn’t, what you like or don’t like. Share your fears about losing yourself in the relationship. Trust me, I did this and my partner understood where I was coming from.

Open and transparent communication can make your relationship stronger and if you’re thinking what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship, being honest is the way to go.

4. Acknowledge how you feel.

When you are honest about how you feel, especially to yourself, you are showing yourself love and respect. Acknowledging your feelings will go a long way in maintaining peace in your relationship during tough times.

It will also help you identify the issues and come up with the right solutions to tackle the said issues.

5. Write down all the things you appreciate about yourself.

Put together a list of all the things you adore about yourself, and make sure you are 100% honest. By acknowledging your positive qualities, you are practicing self-love.

When you view yourself in a positive light, and accept yourself the way you are, you tell yourself that you and your needs matter too. So the next time you wonder what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship, remember this.


If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, or you relate to almost all these signs of losing yourself in a relationship, then I hope this article has been able to give you the answers you are looking for.

Related: 5 Ways To Be Yourself In A New Relationship And Make It Last

Prioritizing yourself and paying attention to your needs, desires and wants doesn’t make you a selfish person at all. So, just like you shower love and affection on your partner, do the same for yourself. You will thank yourself later.

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