Why Self-Work Should Never Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

 / 

, ,
Self Work Never Feel Bad Yourself

Self work is probably one of the hardest things to do in life but at the same time a very necessary one. Self work is closely tied with spiritual work and no doubt plays a huge role in a person’s spiritual development and self improvement.

As you get into the personal development (and even spiritual development) world, it can be easy to begin to alienate certain parts of yourself. To see them as bad and something to get rid of. We want to change our negative patterns, conquer our limiting beliefs, and quickly get over uncomfortable emotions. We strive to do the work to move through it all… be above it all.

But as I was reminded in a recent podcast interview with Katie Buemann, from a spiritual perspective, denying ourselves any aspect of this human experience – including all the “negative“ – is to deny our soul the learning and the growth that accompany it. It is to deny ourselves the very reason we are here.

Related: Shadow Work: How to Let Your Inner Demons Guide You

As I travel down this journey of trying to better myself, more and more I’m starting to realize it’s really all about accepting myself. Fully accepting exactly where I am in this journey. Yes, there is work to be done. There is a path ahead of me and there are steps to take that will “better“ me. But only looking down the path is denying myself the beauty within my current view.

I’ve written before that one of the greatest ironies in life is that it is only when we fully accept where we are that we are able to move forward. It’s something I understand on an intellectual level but am only beginning to understand on a deeper level.

It’s such a hard concept for our brains to grasp because our brains love linear movement. They are wired for patterns and logic. How can we possibly stop and be okay with where we are, yet see that as a step forward? It doesn’t make sense.

But maybe the true spiritual work (and personal development) is to free ourselves from the limitations our human mind tries to place on us. To see that fully accepting where we are is the only form of forward movement. For change can only happen in the present. Looking ahead and striving for more, or different, or better is ignoring the now. It is overlooking the one place that will actually enable us to reach those steps further along our path. We don’t walk our path in the future. We only walk it in the present.

self work
Self work

I constantly encounter this concept of balance. And when you think about it, balance is the true middle point between two seemingly opposing elements. It is the point in which both have an equal presence. It’s another difficult concept for our human brains to wrap around because we much prefer to live in the either/or as opposed to the both/and.

We are either okay with where we are or trying to be better. But more and more I’m learning that isn’t the case. And the true work is finding the middle within everything. Accepting the present and looking to the future. Allowing the good and the bad.

And maybe the key to that is removing the labels altogether – another thing our human mind will fight. Rather than viewing my limiting beliefs as limiting, see them simply as beliefs that exist to point out where the ceiling is so I can break it. That’s not bad. That’s something to be grateful for.

Related: How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming

And my negative patterns aren’t actually negative, but instead a way of practicing how to interact with the world, myself, and others. A way to test things out to see what works best for me. Again, not bad. Necessary. And immediately pushing away uncomfortable emotions doesn’t give them the chance to teach me the lesson they came to teach. To show me where something about my life is out of sync.

None of it is bad. It’s not even a matter of bad or good. It’s all necessary. It’s all here to propel us forward. But first, we must stop and allow it to exist within our lives. Allow it to just be without trying to change it…so we can embrace the knowledge it came to give us.


Written By Kacie Main 
Originally Published On Thought Catalog 
Self Work Never Feel Bad Yourself pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How To Be A Better Thinker: 11 Proven Techniques And Why It Matters

How To Be A Better Thinker: Tips To Think Like A Pro

Are you tired of feeling stuck in your thought patterns? Do you wish you could come up with innovative solutions to the challenges you face? If so, then learning how to be a better thinker is the key to unlocking your full potential.

After studying the science of thinking for years, researchers have discovered that anyone can train their mind to think more effectively. So today, let’s explore why do you need to be a better thinker, and learn practical strategies to enhance your creativity, improve your decision-making, and solve problems more efficiently by understanding how to become great thinker.

How to Be a Better Thinker



Up Next

3 Mindset Shifts That Can Help You To Stop Feeling Uninspired And Empty

How To Stop Feeling Uninspired And Empty? Mindset Shifts

Do you feel uninspired and demotivated most of the time? If your answer is yes, then you have come to the right place! This article is going to talk about how you can stop feeling uninspired and empty, and how to feel fulfilled.

KEY POINTS

Languishing has become a typical state due to the social disengagement experienced as a result of the pandemic. Daily motivators were lost.

Setting goals to increase autonomy, mastery, and a sense of purpose can help you look forward to your days and end each day feeling fulfilled.

Looking forward to your days is up to you. Try gaining small wins in your tasks and being of service to others to elevate your energy.



Up Next

How To Overcome Daily Acute Anxiety: 5 Practical Tools for Immediate Stress Relief

How To Overcome Daily Acute Anxiety: Practical Tools

The modern day life is a fast paced whirlwind that throws numerous things at us at every corner. In such situations it is not uncommon to experience acute anxiety on a daily basis. We are constantly challenged by looming deadlines, towering lists of work at home and many such things which can act as triggers for anxiety.

However there are coping strategies that you can use for anxiety management at times like these.

Related: The Power Of Art Therapy For Anxiety Management : 6 Techniques That Bring Relief

U



Up Next

Why Do People Use “LOL” After Every Text That Is Not Particularly Funny?

Why Do People Use LOL In Unfunny Situations? Clear Reasons

While texting, why do people use LOL so much these days? It’s like our thumbs outrun our brains and “LOL” slips out even though nothing is remotely amusing.

We hardly think before typing it. But what’s the reason? Or rather, does it do more harm than good?

Saying LOL after every text that is super depressing or saying things like ‘I hate my life lol’. Why do people use LOL so much? Is it an instinct or an underlying issue?

Do you ever finish trauma dumping or complaining about your family or partner or whatever else and end up saying LOL after every sentence? — And trust me it’s not because you’re laughing out loud, but because it feels relatable.



Up Next

Do you wish to stop Procrastinating? Dopamine detox is your solution!

Dopamine Detox: Step Guide to Remove Distractions and Increase Focus

Often we fall into procrastination and try hard to get out of it. Getting out of the bed or completing a vital task takes forever and we delay each day by saying to ourselves, ” I will definitely do it tomorrow”, but the tomorrow never comes. Is Dopamine detox the solution?

Procrastination creates stress, overthinking and self-loathing that affects and further delays our crucial tasks.

You might wonder about the reason and the possible solution to break through the loop.

The answer is Dopamine



Up Next

30 Things To Do Alone — Learn To Have Fun By Yourself

Fun Things To Do Alone To Make You Happy

In a world that’s constantly buzzing, people fail to pay attention to the art of being alone. That’s why I’ve come up with fun things to do alone at home, on a Friday night, or the weekend.

Sometimes, you need to find things to do alone to make you happy because it is responsible for numerous self-discoveries and peace from within.

It’s not just about luxury but few minutes with yourself will help rejuvenate your soul. All those moments by yourself range from quite reflections to nerve-wracking escapades.

30 Fun Things To Do Alone To Make You Happy

Before you say, “I’m bored”, take pride in your own company and start off on a journey of <



Up Next

7 Sophisticated Phrases That Will Make You Sound More Worldly And Polished

Sophisticated Phrases That'll Make You Sound More Polished

Are you looking to add a little sophistication in your speech and zhuzh up your vocabulary? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Today, we are going to talk about some of the most sophisticated phrases there is. These sophisticated phrases will not just add to your knowledge, but they’ll also make you sound more cultured and worldly.

From some beautiful French phrases to a few Latin ones, you’ll be spoilt for choice. So grab a snack, and let’s find out what these sophisticated phrases are and what they stand for.

Related: 27+ Cool Ne