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How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming

How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming

Taking Charge Of Who You Are Becoming And Who You Are Meant To Be. Have you ever struggled with the feeling that you are stuck? Have you tried to take charge of who you are becoming instead of always resisting it?

If you want to feel more connected to yourself and more in charge of who you are becoming, we recommend three steps:

  1. Review
  2. Revise
  3. Reframe

Reviewing gets you in touch with your experiences.

It is the way to feel the feelings tied to your stories. When you take a close look at yourself and your thoughts, instead of avoiding them or just letting life happen, you are more fully engaged with what is you.

Revising is the way to let your past transform.

You get to take part in this. You can’t change what happened but you can change the story you tell yourself. Revising doesn’t mean dismissing. Instead, you revise your past from alternate points of view to discover strengths and moments of clarity in difficult situations

The purpose of reframing is to foster your becoming.

Reframing provides a new window and allows you to move forward, with all that you’ve been, and evolve into someone new. The reframe gives you purpose and direction.

You are becoming
How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming

Read 7 Toxic Thoughts To Get Rid Of As You Get Older and What To Think Instead

Here is a simplified example:

Lin never wanted to sit and look at the actual events of her life. She preferred to say “My life sucks, that’s why I drink and shop. It’s the way I get through.”

Over the years she avoided herself more and she felt worse.

Finally, at 52, she decided she had to take charge.

“The script has gotten away from me and now I’m really a mess.”

So first we reviewed. For example, we looked at Lin’s childhood, when she felt frightened and alone. “It was painful to do, I felt a lot of emotions, but it was also a relief.”

Then we revised. “Look at how that girl was clever. She actually survived so much.”

Then we reframed. “I am not a mess. I am a woman who has always recreated herself.”

Now Lin doesn’t have to run from the past and she can look towards what’s next.

Read 15 Savage Truths About Life No One Wants To Admit

The truth is, by the time we reach our 50’s we have been incubating a whole new self within ourselves. We can’t let old stories keep her from coming through.

Your future self is waiting for you to imagine her and put her to work in the world.

Let’s let her out…

Written By Cecilia Dintino
Originally Appeared In Twisting The Plot

You take control of your life when you accept that you alone are responsible for your actions.

If you want to be the best version of yourself and don’t want to remain stagnant, then you have to take charge of who you are shaping up to be. Resisting this major change will only stop your growth. Accepting your personal growth and the fact that change is the only constant in life, being the absolute best version of yourself is not far away.

How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming pin
How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming pin
How To Be In Charge Of Who You Are Becoming


Cecilia Dintino is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology at Columbia University Medical Center and on faculty with New York University’s Program in Drama Therapy. She is co-founder of Twisting the Plot and Twisting the Plot Podcast with the mission to help women over 50 imagine and create new futures. Twistingtheplot.comView Author posts