“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas
No matter the length and time spent on your relationship, there are some simple rules that you need to follow to keep the ride going on for years. These simple fundamental rules help make your relationship strong and everlasting. Every long term relationship has its bumps and the finesse of a good lover lies in navigating these effortlessly. Building a relationship takes a lot of work and has its share of bumps and challenges. Though tough and rewarding at the same time, here are the expert tips to make your relationship last aeons.
1. Express yourself and stand to gain:
It makes sense to keep the relationship full of spark and flame. A lot of the times, boredom or everyday frustrations create ebb in the love and attachment. You probably need to say a dozen of the positive things to nullify a harmful statement. Be vocal about compliments and give heartfelt appreciation specifically aimed at your partner. You should not only know how to press your partner’s hoot buttons but also help giving him or her joy in the journey called life.
2. Learn to touch each other often:
Human touch often helps in the release of endorphins for both who caress and those who get cared for. Try and hold hands, exhibit physical proximity and affection while you are walking or even watching a movie. Revive the ways in which you expressed love in the early days of the relationship. Form a tight unit around your loved one. Take his or her side whenever there is a tumult or turmoil. Try and keep her or his secrets. Spend about 30 minutes each day talking to each other about the work day and day that was. It’s time to reciprocate and talk. Be friends always. Except for emergencies, do not disturb the couple time you spend at home.
3. Stop playing the finger pointing game at each other:
Often in a relationship, when something goes sour, we have a tendency to place the blame on the other person. It is in fact tempting to feel angry and disappointed with your partner when you are stressed about life and work. You cannot expect to “change” your partner and cast him r her in defensive light. The result is that neither changes and there is no one to take the responsibility. The idea is to not chastise and seek the best in your companion. The idea is to change oneself and address one’s own flaw. Optimism increases and both feel motivated to make things happen.
4. Relax in your spare time and introspect:
It is important to be the one that `attracts and gives attention. The happier and jovial you feel, the better it is for your relationship. You can switch to decaf, do some morning yoga or even listen to music. All this will soothe your senses and help you reflect on your life and companionship. It makes you relationship ready and makes you feel good.
5. When in a conflict, fight fair and square:
Conflict is a normal part of every relationship. You need to handle your relationship well with the right frame of mind and problem solving abilities. Conflict should lead to greater intimacy rather than silent seething sessions. Learn to stay away from attacking personally, criticising, confronting always and from discussions escalating into verbal fight matches. Call a truce and walk off to cool when things get out of hand!
6. Find yourself time to argue:
Do not fight on the fly. If you are dealing with conflict, you need to stop yourself from getting distracted and stay away from potentially tough talks if you are tired or even hungry. Avoid drinking or even smoking when you are heated and disturbed. All this will go a long way in achieving positive results in the talk.
7. Listen and communicate freely:
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
― J.K. Rowling
It is a time tested truth that good listeners are great lovers. You need to listen more often and pay attention when you are in trouble. Speak less but communicate openly. Stay focused and stop blaming or interrupting. Never turn combative.
8. Create a shared dream for togetherness:
In the midst of cleaning the house or working long hours, you need to have long term goals. These goals should be shared and for the good of both partners. Shared goals and planning leads to the development of a solid foundational relationship.
9. Maintain a physical proximity and closeness:
For any long term relationship to be successful, you need to build a solid physical intimacy. You should share and revel in love. Passion and closeness is vital for a connection. Stresses cannot be roadblock in the quest for physical attraction and love making.
10. Anticipate change and compromise when necessary:
Personal and character changes are very common in life. You need to accommodate this change in people when living together. Compromise is the name of the game in a marriage or a long term relationship. You need to exercise patience too. A person undergoes several character changes in a span of 5 years. You should embrace and appreciate the change, not criticize and question!