Often people who are struggling with their identity will also feel safer with extra weight because it helps them feel more invisible. No matter where the fear is coming from, it will cause self-sabotaging behaviours if you’re not aware of it and don’t have a plan to manage it.
5. Emotional eating.
Some level of emotional eating is pretty normal for most people on occasion but if you’re someone who relies heavily on food for everything, whenever you’re bored or stressed or upset or anything… you’re going to keep falling back on your go-to copying strategy and consistency will suffer until you learn to better manage emotions.
6. Don’t want it bad enough.
This is a really common one. If your why isn’t big enough, if you don’t want it badly enough, you’re going to struggle with consistency every time it starts getting hard. You really have to dig into your deeper why – fitting into a certain clothing size or seeing some number on the scale simply aren’t generally big enough motivators for most people so what’s your real underlying why? What’s the why that’s going to get you fired up to keep going when it gets hard?
7. Relying on motivation & thinking you need to do everything.
This is SUCH a big one. Most people have this idea about what it takes to “live a healthy lifestyle” or “get fit” or lose weight – that is that it’s all about suffering. We’ve been taught that it takes alllll the exercise and alllll the food restrictions and that it’s hard work.
So we waste time doing nothing while waiting for enough “motivation” to start again. When motivation is high, we jump back in doing ALLL the things. Motivation is powerful when it’s high but it literally never, ever lasts.
For anyone. Ever. And when it inevitably dips, as it always does, we have absolutely no interest in continuing to do all the things anymore and it becomes a never-ending cycle of starting and stopping.
8. The weight centric paradigm that defines success.
This is something I’ve seen derail SO many people – defining success based on what the scale says and nothing else is such a fundamentally flawed premise. What do we often say to ourselves when the scale doesn’t say what you want it to say one morning?
“This sucks, I’m never going to get this weight off, screw it, I’m eating whatever I want today.”
Or even if it goes farther in the direction we want it to than we expected.. “Oh wow, I’m doing so awesome, that’s more than I thought I lost… I deserve a treat!” which usually ends up in overeating.
The other reason that the weight centric paradigm is flawed is because it’s a terrible incentive. Trying to force yourself to work against the way your brain is programmed in order to eat in a specific way today just because maybe at some point down the road from now it’ll make you skinny and happy is terrible motivation to change eating habits that almost never works.
Today you don’t really care about what the next week you are going to look like, today you just want to eat what you want. There’s no immediate gratification when we live from a weight centric approach.
But switching from that weight centric model to focusing on how you feel changes everything because there is immediate gratification there. The things you decide to eat right now, will either make your body feel good or make it feel bad.