5 Reasons He Won’t Leave His Wife But Won’t Let You Go


, ,
Reasons He Wont Leave His Wife

If you are the other woman, it has always been empty dreams and false promises for you, and in all likelihood, it will remain that way only. You may want to take a few steps back and make the decision to finally let go of him. Understanding why he won’t leave his wife but still, he won’t let you go either can help you to truly assess your situation. Here are the reasons why your married man won’t let you go.

If you are reading this article I am guessing that you are miserable, that your married man stayed with his wife but won’t let you go.

I am guessing that you have spent months, years, maybe even decades, believing that he would do what he said he would do and leave his wife. And now you know for sure – he isn’t going to do it.

But I am guessing the most painful part of it is that he won’t let you go. That, in spite of the fact that he has made you promises that he has broken and that he has chosen his wife over you, he won’t let you go. It sucks.

5 Reasons Your Married Man Won’t Let You Go

When your married man when let you go

The question you are most probably asking is Why he won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go, so that you get on with your life. Right? Let me tell you why your married man stayed with his wife but won’t let you go nonetheless.

1. You give him pleasure.

One of the reasons that you and your married guy got together in the first place was because of the pleasure that you gave each other.

Most likely, your married guy was in an unhappy marriage and when he met you he found the happiness that he wasn’t getting at home. And you were probably so thrilled to find a man who finally got you that you were willing to take a risk, even though he was married.

And now, how many months, years, or decades later, while you might be mostly miserable because of his broken promises, he still gets pleasure from being with you.

You are a break from the routine of this life. When you aren’t fighting about why he won’t leave his wife, you still laugh together. The sex is great because of all the drama. And I am guessing that you take care of him – which he loves.

If he lets you go, your married man will lose that pleasure. He will lose having someone in his life who is willing to fight for him, to care for him. And he needs that. Desperately.

Be honest with yourself. Is what I have said above true? Do you have a lot of miserable nights but are you still very much getting pleasure from each other’s company when things are good? I am guessing so.

Why would he let that go?

2. He is still miserable.

I have a client who, after one and a half years of hoping that her married man would leave his wife, finally walked away. She just couldn’t take it anymore. And she was determined to not take him back.

And he freaked out! He was back with his wife but he was still miserable. Nothing had changed. They stayed together for the children or the finances or maybe even to work on the marriage, but the reality is is that, even if a couple is working on a marriage, the going will be rough.

And guys don’t like rough. They like to have their paths smooth and easy because a rough one is exhausting.

My client did manage to walk away, finally. And she never talked to her married guy again. But she does occasionally stalk him on social media and see the pictures that he posts of him and his wife, ‘having fun’ together.

They look happy but she can still see in his eyes that he is miserable. It makes her want to go back and take care of him because she still loves him, but she knows that, while he might still love her, he would merely be using her to make himself feel better in his world.

We all know what it’s like to be in an unhappy relationship and the prospect of finding happiness again without doing the hard work of fixing it is irresistible. Unfortunately, the band-aid of an affair is only a stop-gap, a way to get your emotional needs tended to without doing the hard work.

And the prospect of having that band-aid fall off permanently is the reason that your married man stayed with his wife but won’t let you go

Read: 11 Signs To Know If Your Marriage is Just Unhealthy Or Completely Toxic

3. He is jealous.

Again, your man is most likely miserable now that he has stayed with his wife. Even if they are going to therapy, their journey is a long one and one that he is, most likely, dreading.

For you, however, the sky is the limit. If you can let go of your married guy, yes you will have to start dating again, but the opportunity to actually be happy, to get your life back, to rebuild your self-esteem, and find love again, is yours for the taking. And the idea of that makes him crazy!

A client of mine, after finally being able to let go of her married guy, jumped into building a business for herself as a way to fill the hole left by his absence. As she built her business she reconnected with old friends, traveled, exercised, and got a dog.

As her business grew and she didn’t have to spend every waking hour obsessing about her guy, her self-esteem flourished. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel like second best. She didn’t feel abandoned.

And what happened? One day she was having lunch with a friend when a friend of her friend walked by. Their first contact was electric and within a week they were spending time together. Because she had rebuilt her life after her affair, she was willing and able to find a healthy relationship, one that made her feel important and loved.

And her married man? He was still living the same life that he had before he met her, with future happiness unknown. Why would he want to let her go if her prospects of happiness made him jealous, made him feel bad about his? No, it would be easier, and selfish, for him to put his needs first and give her no chance to be happy.

4. He doesn’t want anything to change.

Nobody likes change. In my experience, guys especially don’t like change. Change messes up the order of their universe and drastic change can have a big effect.

If your married guy stays with his wife but still won’t let you go it is very likely that he is doing so so that things will remain as they are. Yes, it is tough for him to have to fight with you about his marriage but he still gets a lot out of your relationship.

If he let you go there would be a void that he would have to fill, his routines around finding time for you would shift and he might find himself preoccupied and distracted by the new order of things.

Change is scary. Any kind of change. And no one wants it if they can possibly stop it. And letting go of a relationship, of any kind, is the worst change of all!

Read: 5 Deep-Seated Reasons For Indulging In Infidelity

5. You let him.

The number one reason why your married guy stayed with his wife but won’t let you go is that you let him.

Be honest with yourself. Are you still hanging on? Do you feel like he is your soul mate and that walking away would be a big mistake? Do you still hold out hope that he will leave his wife and be with you? Do you think that you will never find anyone to love you the way he does again?

For many women who say their man ‘won’t let them go’ they have an equal share in the ‘why.’ They want out, they say, but they don’t follow through. Sure, maybe for a day or a week but then their person reaches out to them and lures them back in again. And this can happen over and over and over.

We all have free will – we are in control of our universe and we can decide what we want to do and follow through. You say that your guy is forcing you to stay is a cop-out. You are staying because you want to. You are staying because you can’t walk away.  You are staying because you can’t find the courage to leave.

The best way to get your married man to let you go is to walk away. To let him go. For all the reasons I listed above he won’t leave you. But you can leave him.

The sooner you do the sooner you can get yourself back and start living your life! Having your married man stay with his wife but not let you go is, unfortunately, not unusual in our world.

While everyone thinks that their affair involves a love that is greater than all loves, that their person is their soulmate, in reality, we are all just people in the world, doing our best to find love and be happy. And people are fallible, no matter how much love they might feel.

As a result, letting go of someone who makes them happy, no matter how selfish the motivation, is very hard to do.

On a final note, I want you to review the list above. Every single one involves what YOU do for HIM. None of those things are because he wants to make you happy or take care of you. He keeps you around for himself. Period.

Walk away. Now. You can do it!

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin
Reasons He Wont Leave His Wife pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The 3 Most Common Types Of Cheaters: Uncovering The Love Fraudsters

Most Common Types Of Cheaters: The Silent Echoes Of Deceit

In every love story, the sweet haze of romance often hides some unsettling figures lurking in the shadows—figures of deceit that can turn sweet stories bitter. When it comes to infidelity and cheating, you might be a bit surprised to know that there are different types of cheaters, mainly 3 types of cheaters.

Revealing these types of cheaters might bring out uncomfortable truths, but they’re important for understanding the complex world of human emotions. Through their different ways of dishonesty, they show the complicated and tangled nature of cheating. Each one represents a warning about the rough patches that love can sometimes

Up Next

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? 18 Reasons Why They Cheat (And Why They Don’t)

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? Reasons They Can Be

Can a narcissist be faithful? This question delves into the intricate world of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and the complex dynamics of relationships involving narcissists. 

Understanding the psychology behind this topic is crucial for those who have encountered or are currently involved with narcissistic individuals. Let us explore the nature of narcissism, the reasons why a narcissist can be unfaithful, as well as the factors that might lead them to exhibit faithfulness. 

Can a Narcissist be Faithful in a Relationship?

Can a narcissist be faithful? This is a nuanced question and doesn’t really have a straightforward answer.

Up Next

The 3 Least Loyal Zodiac Signs Who Seem Allergic To Commitment

Three Least Loyal Zodiac Signs: A Guide To Avoid Red Flag

The precious bond that fortifies connections and defines true devotion is loyalty. But these three least loyal zodiac signs are masters of unpredictability, challenging the very essence of commitment.

While the zodiac can offer insights into our strengths and weaknesses, it’s also known for pointing out our less desirable traits. 

Brace yourself, for we’re about to unveil the truth about the least loyal zodiac signs. From the silver screen to real life, these signs have left a trail of disloyalty that’s hard to ignore. 

So, if you’re ready to dive into the drama, let’s explore the traits of these most disloyal zodiac signs!


Up Next

The 7 Thrilling Narcissist Cheating Patterns You Need To Know

Narcissist Cheating Patterns: Seven Signs Of Infidelity

Have you ever found yourself entangled in a relationship that seemed almost too good to be true? Discovering the Narcissist cheating patterns might help you figure out if your suspicions are on point.

In the intricate dance of relationships, we encounter a wide array of personalities. One personality type that often leaves a trail of heartbreak and confusion in its wake is the Narcissist. 

The term “Narcissist” may evoke images of self-absorbed individuals gazing at their own reflection, but there’s more to them than meets the eye. 

Up Next

The Spiritual Meaning of Dreams About Cheating: Exploring Deeper Realms of the Heart

Spiritual Meaning Of Dreams About Cheating: Two Strong Messages

Dreams are portals to our subconscious and the spiritual world. But when your dreams about infidelity make you feel guilty or anxious, delve into the spiritual meaning of dreams about cheating.

Dreams have long been regarded as windows into the subconscious mind, offering insights into our thoughts, emotions, and even our spiritual journey.

Among the myriad of dream scenarios, dreams about cheating — whether it’s your partner cheating on you or you cheating on your partner — hold a special place due to their intense emotional impact.

These dreams often leave us with lingering feelings of confusion, anx

Up Next

Exiting The Infidelity Maze: 5 Ways To Get Out Of An Extramarital Affair

Get Out Of An Extramarital Affair: 5 Ways To Break Free

Sometimes ending an affair, especially when it’s an extramarital affair can be a slippery slope for many. However, it’s important to get out of an extramarital affair if you want to save your family and marriage (if that is your prerogative). This post is going to explore how to get out of an affair and how to end an affair. 

Even though 84 percent of Americans believe that infidelity is morally wrong, the infidelity rate in the United States has been slowly on the rise (Pew Research Center, 2014).

Zuckerman (2020) reported that approximately 20 pe

Up Next

What Every Couple Needs To Understand About Emotional Infidelity

Emotional Infidelity: The Complexities Of Emotional Cheating

We’ve all heard about cheating in relationships, but what about emotional infidelity? Yeah, that sneaky kind where someone forms a deep connection with someone other than their partner. Are emotional affairs dangerous? Let’s dive into this topic and uncover the secrets behind emotional infidelity.

Key Points:

Emotional infidelity is a lesser-talked-about, yet common type of infidelity that can lead to a sense of betrayal and loss of trust.

Emotional infidelity may include conversations that are inappropriately intimate, familiar, or frequent with someone other than one’s spouse.