No matter how good we are at self-regulation, there are times when we are over-agitated and get into a fight. But, if it comes to people who are not level-headed, they are angry and irritated most of the time. How to calm an angry or emotional person instantly?
Before explaining that you need to first understand that – being highly emotional doesn’t always mean a person only exhibits exaggerated changes in mood or cry or laugh like insane. Rather, s/he is a person having intense feelings and responding to emotions more often than not.
The problem with being more emotional than more people are – it makes you emotionally invested in many issues, your intuition becomes skewed and that makes you vulnerable. At times you end up sucking everyone’s energy with your negativity. Since you are ruled by your emotions, you experience an ongoing battle with fear-based logic and your judgement becomes misguided.
Therefore, emotional regulation is an important tool for social interaction
It will prevent the escalation of strong emotions and regrettable situations caused by irrational behavior. We function in different settings – family, work, social gatherings, and many more. You need to learn to manage and modify your emotional expression according to the demand of the situation.
Self-regulation not only helps you improve your mood but behave in a more mature manner and save you a lot of embarrassment.
For example, you can give a witty reply to your colleague who’s trying to bully you and dilute the negative situation. Similarly, when your girlfriend is upset because you were late for the date, you cannot yell at her. There are many such situations where you need to be calm and composed instead of reacting in an impulsive manner.
Related: Buddha And The Angry Man, A Story That Will Change Your Perspective On Anger
Dr Albert J. Bernstein, a clinical psychologist using his years of experience and knowledge has perfected his techniques for bringing out-of-control conversations to the normal mode. His method will help you deal with an angry or emotional person very easily.
Here are three phrases that will instantly calm angry and emotional people
1. “Please Speak More Slowly. I’d Like to Help.”
Here the concern is not about your speed of talking. But, maybe you are screaming at the top of your lungs or sobbing uncontrollably. In spite of that, this phrase can do wonders, according to Bernstein.
Because it immediately breaks the pattern in your head. This phrase signals a positive response. The listener is not resisting you but is interested to help you. That helps you to pause a little and push yourself into thinking. And that’s good.
Related: Studies Reveal: Words Can Revive Dead Cells
2. “What Would You Like Me to Do?”
This phrase works almost on similar principles to phrase number one.
It helps an over-emotional person to think more rationally and logically. And that’s the best way to calm an angry or emotional person.
Related: How To Connect With A Man Emotionally And Speak His Language
3. Any Question at All
When a person is unstable, it’s a futile attempt to say to him or her that your viewpoint is more sensible. It will only make the other party more aggressive and dangerous. Instead of bringing out-of-control conversations back down to earth, it will turn more chaotic.
Why?
“Explaining is almost always a disguised form of fighting back,” says Bernstein.
So, don’t tell them “you are an unwell psychiatric patient”. But actively listen to their story and be curious about it and ask relevant questions.
“The act of listening is reflecting back the person’s emotional state, not necessarily the content of what they’re saying,” said Bernstein in an interview.
This technique is highly likely to calm people down and lead the conversation onto firmer ground.
If you found this post helpful, let us know in the comments. And feel free to share the post with those in need.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the names of some historical personalities who are known for their calmness?
Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Ernest Shackleton are some historical figures who are known for being calm in times of crisis.
What are the verbal strategies for calming an upset person?
Speak in a calm and even tone. Use simple words that are kind, positive, and uplifting. Offer solutions or simply listen. Ask questions and use silence in your dialogue.
What are the 5 sayings to calm someone down from an anxiety attack?
Mindfully acknowledge 5 things that you can see around you, 4 things that you can touch, 3 things that you can hear, 2 things that you can smell, and 1 thing that you can taste.
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