Giving the Gift of Attunement
Being there for your partner when they are upset is one of the best gifts you can give them.
It may be difficult to listen to your partner’s negative feelings such as sadness, anger, disappointment, or fear, especially if it’s directed at you, but it is valuable.
“Taking responsibility—even for a small part of the problem in communication—presents the opportunity for great repair.”―
Negative emotions are like knights protecting the castle around your partner’s heart. If you can get past them by being kind and gentle, you’ll get to see the heart of your partner and learn how to love them better.
The goal is for you and your partner to feel comfortable expressing negative emotions in ways that allow both of you to listen without feeling attacked. That way the message on how to love each other better can create healing rather than injury.
Acknowledging negative emotions, tackling them and resolving them is the best way to build a strong and unbreakable bond. If you can show your partner that you will always have their back, they will feel safe and loved. After all, it really doesn’t take a lot to show someone how important they are to you.
1. Yoshimoto, D.K. (2005). Martial meta-emotion coaching and dyadic interaction. Dissertation Abstracts International, Section B: The Sciences and Engineering, 66(6-b), 2448. ↩