Why a Narcissist Does Not Seem Like a Narcissist at First

Narcissist Not Seem Like Narcissist at First

Third, a person may need to get some space from the narcissist. In Sara’s case, she may ask for a temporary transfer, establish plans with an alternate friend group, and spend some time in nature. The three “Rs” help; regroup, reflect, and recover. The dynamic is real, painful, and takes a toll on a person’s mental health, so recovering is critical.

Fourth, resurrect healthy boundaries in relation to the narcissist. These barriers may protect a person from incurring further abuse.

Using the example, Sara decides to refrain from accepting any favors from Lisa in the future. Professionally, she calmly alerts a trusted superior about Lisa’s unprofessional tendencies and identifies herself as Lisa’s target. She asks for support. Socially, Sara spends one on one time with close friends but avoids the larger activities that Lisa attends. After time passes, Sara may feel ready to participate in the social gatherings that Lisa attends, but prepares to ignore Lisa’s attempts at gaslighting.

Looking to know more about how you can protect yourself from a narcissist? Read 5 Ways You Can Ignore A Narcissist Who Is Trying To Hurt You

The situation is additionally complicated when a person discovers a romantic partner embodies narcissistic tendencies. Yet, applying the four strategies may help. If the partner responds in a healthy manner and respects the person’s new boundaries, the partner may be able to evolve and salvage the union. Assessing the narcissistic partner’s motivation to address his or her profound defensiveness is an equally critical factor. A highly motivated partner may seek the professional help necessary to soften narcissistic defense mechanisms.

No human being is required to endure emotional abuse. Remember the four tips; do not surrender to guilt inflictors, calmly take a stand, get emotional space, and resurrect strong boundaries. Having a golden heart is a gift. Protect it.

You can read Dr. Erin Leonard’s book “Emotional Terrorism, Breaking The Chains of A Toxic Relationship” to know more about this, and you can get it here. She has several other books to her credit, and you can check them out here


Written By Erin Leonard

Originally Appeared In Psychology Today

Narcissists behave with you in such a way that it is not always possible to identify them in the first glance. They have a way of sucking you in, and getting in your good books. Once they are successful in doing that, they start playing their games. So, the next time you feel that you are being manipulated by a narcissist, keep these pointers in mind and protect yourself.

If you want to know more about why a narcissist does not always seem like a narcissist initially, then check this video out below:



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1 thought on “Why a Narcissist Does Not Seem Like a Narcissist at First”

  1. mikeboggs18@gmail.com Yes,I was involved with a female narcissist. She showed very strong characteristics of every thing you described. I don’t have the time to give you all the details. Basically she pretended to be my advocate in a bad situation. She made things 10 times worse and told me she couldn’t be held accountable. I feel lucky that I’m not dead. She got another person involved..He hurt me pretty bad. Spinel cord injury, there is no way I can get them to be accountable
    .So she ended up being right that she couldn’t be held accountable.. The whole was very complex. I didn’t see it coming at all. I thought she wsd there to help me. If they would have killed me
    They some how would have made it look like an accident that was entirely my fault..253-248-3655 for all the details and pictures and texts.

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