11 Mistakes Stopping You From Finding The One (and What To Do About It)  

Mistakes stopping you from Finding the one: There’s a reason you keep attracting the wrong people.

When it comes to love and being in a relationship, attraction plays a huge role.

Are you trying hard to find love and build a healthy relationship but nothing you do is working?

You may be doing a bunch of things that are blocking genuine and true love from entering your life.

So, if you’re asking yourself, “Why can’t I find love?” and “Will I ever find love?”, you need to be aware of what you’re doing wrong and what healthy relationships really need.

So, here are 11 fatal attraction mistakes that stop you from finding the one and building a genuine relationship.

11 Mistakes Stopping You From Finding The One (and What To Do About It)

1. Holding on to old relationships

Always let go and move forward from past relationships. Holding on only blocks you from moving forward. Focus on the lessons you learned from that relationship and bring that with you but leave the rest behind.

Don’t treat new relationships any different because of past hurt. Don’t take out previous pain on a new partner. Really work that out before you move on. Take the lessons you learned but leave the rest behind and start fresh with each new person.

You want to move forward and not stay stuck in the past. You can never do that if you are replaying the past and criticizing past mistakes. Either regretting the past or wishing you were still in it will always block you from moving forward.

If you are hanging on to old relationships you are closing the space for a new love to come in. Work through and fully grieve old relationships so you can open up space to move forward with a new love.

2. Lack of self-love

It’s so important to love yourself first because if you don’t love you, you cannot attract others who will love you. If you aren’t treating yourself right you won’t attract others who will treat you right.

Take a good look at how you are treating yourself.

Does negative self talk? That will attract others who will talk down to you. Not trusting or believing in yourself? That will attract others who won’t trust you or that you won’t trust.

3. Living in energies that repel love

Before you can attract anything into your life, you must add more of that same energy to your life. Are you looking for stability when it comes to love? If so, look at where you are unstable in your life and make changes.

If any element of your life is unstable, it’s very important to work on that. Instability will only attract someone who is unstable. Really look closely at each area of your life and take new steps to work on any areas that aren’t stable.

This goes for anything you are looking for in love, fun, comfort, etc. Whatever it is you are looking to attract in a partner, really focus on, adding more of that into your life in all areas.

We are whole beings and must align every area of our lives to what we want, not just the one area we are working on.

4. Too much focus on everyone else’s problems

Don’t focus on other people and what they are doing to you. Focus on what you are doing to attract them in the first place. We only have control over ourselves, no one else.

Nothing ever just happens to us, we create everything in our life with our choices. The good news is by making some new choices you can get what you want.

5. Feeling desperate

Desperation when looking for love will only lead you into desperate situations and attract those who will only hurt you.

Know that happiness can only be found in yourself. Do not expect love to fill your happiness need. Yes, love can make you happy but it’s the cherry on top after you have found your happiness inside of you first.

Being happy within yourself and not needing love to fulfill you is the best way to attract love to you. Looking for anyone else to fulfill you will never lead to anything and will only leave you empty inside.

The beautiful thing is that you can find love and happiness within yourself without needing anyone else. Focus on your passion and your purpose and that will lead you there.

6. Not fully expressing yourself

When you keep things in and don’t express yourself you aren’t being your genuine self and can never attract real genuine love.

Be yourself and say what you feel when you feel it. You want to attract someone who will fall in love with you, not with who you are pretending to be.

7. Seeing yourself as having baggage

We have all made mistakes and have a past. See it as all learning experiences that made you the wonderful person you are now.

When you see it as baggage, a weight, or a problem, you put out to the world that you aren’t worthy.

Instead, be thankful for all you have learned and gained from those experiences and put that foot forward.

8. Only focusing on the negatives in your life

Focusing on the negative will only attract more negative to you, especially in relationships. Every negative thing you go through is there to teach you something to lead you to a better place.

Look for the lessons in these negative experiences and make new choices to get out of them instead of just dwelling and lingering in them. They are always a tool to move onto a better life but you must look deep and find those lessons and make the necessary changes.

There is always a new choice you can make as a step out of any situation. Focus on the positives and what you do have so you can attract more positive into your life.

This especially applies to negative thoughts about yourself. Being happy with yourself is so important in attracting the right person for you. If you aren’t happy with yourself, the person you attract cannot ever be completely happy with you either.

9. Not having fun in your life

Fun and laughter are big love attraction magnets.

Think about it: aren’t you more attracted to someone who is happy and having fun? Purposely find ways to have more fun and laugh in whatever way works for you.

10. Not taking care of yourself

Nurture and be sure not to neglect yourself. When you neglect yourself you can only attract those who will neglect you as well.

You must always put yourself first so you will have more to give to others. Always put your oxygen mask on first.

11. Expecting love to save you

Love is two whole people who come together to make things even better for each other. Never expect someone to come in and save you or make you feel fulfilled inside.

Only you can find your own happiness and fulfillment. No one can magically do that for you.

But, once you have found that in yourself, love can help that grow even more and it’s the perfect cherry at the top of the sundae. But you must build that sundae by yourself first!

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Written By Kristine Carlson
Originally Appeared On Your Tango

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