Deciding whether you should spend the rest of your life with the person you’re dating can be a difficult decision. How do you know someone is marriage material? How can you know if you can trust them with your love and commitment?
There are certain signs that can help you find out.
Dating can be an exciting part of a single life. There are all those enticing elements that keep you curious, connected, active and hopeful.
But for marriage-minded people, dating is more purposeful than it is for those without an end-goal of getting married.
If you have marriage in mind, you know that dating can sometimes get stressful. You are, after all, always wondering if your date is marriage material.
How do I know if he’s the one?
Knowing which signs to look for that will tell if you, if someone is ready to get married, will help you spend more time enjoying your dates together, secure that you can trust your head, as well as your heart.
The qualities you should look for in someone are all about that person’s character, personality and core values. They assume that you and the person you’re dating find each other another attractive while recognizing that looks shouldn’t be the defining criteria when deciding who to marry.
Infatuation can confuse the mind and your ability to make good judgments.
Infatuation is a normal and necessary phase of dating, and we wouldn’t continue as a species without it, but it’s important to be able to discern those qualities that make someone marriage material and not just a fun date.
Why does infatuation make it so difficult to judge a relationship long-term potential with someone new?
For one thing, cortisol levels increase while serotonin levels decrease during this stage of romantic relationships. This means the body is in a stressed state, which makes sense. After all, both of you are worried about being your best and catching the other person’s attention. It’s Mating 101.
Serotonin, the feel-good hormone, doesn’t start flowing normally again until a relationship has been established and becomes comfortable. In the meantime, it’s important to keep yourself focused on what’s truly most important in the long-run.
To help you out, here are 8 important signs to look for that indicate the person you’re dating may be the one and is ready to get married.
1. They’re emotionally mature and available
“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.” – Joey Adams
These qualities are huge and, in many ways, encompasses most of the others that will follow in this list.
Is your dateable to access their emotions without trying to avoid them or cover them up? Are they able to communicate their feelings in a responsible manner, owning them and not blaming others?
A person who is comfortable with their own feelings — as well as with sharing them — has the foundation for empathy, which is essential to any emotionally intimate and balanced relationship.
They need to want to be in a relationship and possess the desire to connect with another person.
I call this wanting to be in an “us” and not just a “me”-focused relationship.
2. Their core values align with yours
“The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” – Julia Child
A big part of becoming mature (and not just becoming an adult) is defining your core values in regard to relationships.
Those people who are grounded in their lives tell you in their words and actions who they are and what they stand for. Their lives align with their values.
In terms of dating with the goal of marriage, it’s important that your core relationship values align with your partner’s. There will always be shades of difference, but you don’t want to live in a house divided.