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Do You Have to Love Yourself Before You Can Love Someone Else?

love yourself before you can love someone else

Someone else loving you will always be more powerful than you loving yourself. It’s easier to love someone else than ourselves, no matter how much work we’ve done on us. Think about it. The love you have for your children. Your husband, wife, brother, sister, friends. You would do so much more for them than yourself, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself. It means you’re human. And that’s what makes us magical.

When we experience healthy love back — someone treating us like we have value, without conditions and judgment — we learn to treat ourselves that way. The relationship lays the tracks.

On the contrary, when we are in unhealthy, toxic relationships where we are controlled and not allowed to be ourselves, we learn to turn the gun to ourselves and not love ourselves.

Related: How To Tell If You’re In A Healthy Relationship (When You’ve Never Had One Before)

That’s why it’s so important to be in a healthy relationship. The relationship itself becomes a self-love machine.

So you don’t have to love yourself to love someone else. But you should like yourself because when you like yourself, you will make healthy choices and create a space (build a relationship) that will promote self-love.

– Angry

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Written By John Kim
Originally appeared on Psychology Today
You Have to Love Yourself Before You Love Someone Else - Why It Won't Work For You
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Do You Have to Love Yourself Before You Can Love Someone Else?
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John Kim

John Kim, author of "I Used To Be A Miserable F*ck", founder of The Angry Therapist, and co-founder JRNI.co, has pioneered online life coaching six years ago when he started helping people in unconventional ways. The Angry Therapist now has hundreds of thousands of followers and his podcast over 2 million downloads. He sends out daily texts and runs live Zoom self betterment groups.View Author posts