We are literally designed to learn, grow, and love through other people. We are tribal creatures.
Not meant to do life alone.
I understand the importance of The Hero’s Journey. The solo quest, especially after your relationship has expired and you need to do some soul searching.
But that is temporary. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s not meant to be. Eventually you choose to love someone new and bring what you’ve learned about yourself, love, and the world into the relationship.
This relationship, assuming it’s healthy, creates the space for you to love yourself exponentially more because you are actually experiencing someone loving you.
Someone else loving you will always be more powerful than you loving yourself.
Because it’s easier to love someone else than ourselves, no matter how much work we’ve done on us.
Think about it. The love you have for your children. Your husband, wife, brother, sister, friends. You would do so much more for them than you and that doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself. It means you’re human.
And that’s what makes us magical.
When we experience healthy love back, someone treating us like we have value, worth, without conditions and judgment, we learn to treat ourselves that way.
The relationship lays the tracks.
On the contrary, when we are in unhealthy toxic relationships where we are controlled and not allowed to be ourselves, we learn to turn the gun to ourselves and not love ourselves.
That’s why it’s so important to be in a healthy relationship. The relationship itself becomes a self love machine.
So you don’t have to love yourself to love someone else.
But you should like yourself, because when you like yourself you will make healthy choices and create a space (build a relationship) that will promote self love.
Indulge in self love and respect because that would make you fall in love with someone!
Written By John Kim – The Angry Therapist
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Originally appeared on PsychologyToday.com
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