Lessons Learned On My Journey To Love

Love is very individual and experiential. 

We tend to learn how to love the hard way – by making mistakes and hopefully learning from them. We all have lessons we’re meant to learn based on where we’re at and where we are meant to be.  The distance between these two places are bridged by the experiences that help us learn and grow into our best selves.

If you tend to compare yourself to other women (i.e. can’t understand why they’ve found love and I haven’t), let these comparisons go.

Keep in mind that every woman is on her own journey – some paths are more direct while other paths take indirect routes – all meant for each individual’s greater good.

 

The Typical Journey to Love

Most every woman’s process of finding love (myself included) goes something like this…the trial and error approach such as making mistakes, repeating the same unhealthy patterns, dating and being in relationships with men who aren’t right for us, blaming the other person when problems come up, sacrificing our integrity, etc.

Then after much heartache and having had enough, an awakening happens when we realize things have to change.  This is what happened to me after two breakups with the man I dearly loved.  These breakups caused me to look within and reflect on how I had been approaching and perceiving love.

 

5 Major Love Lessons

By reflecting and making positive changes within, I’m able to share these valuable lessons to help alleviate further heartache and shortcut your journey to love.

Love Lesson #1: Everything happens for your greater good

Everything happens for your greater good, especially love’s difficulties.  It may not seem like it at the time, yet these difficulties are happening to help you learn, grow and become your best self.

When you’re in a challenging situation, don’t ask, “Why me?  Why is this happening to me…?  Why is he doing this…?”

Instead, ask, “Why is this happening for me?  What is the positive lesson I’m meant to learn from this?  How I can take this situation and apply it in a way that helps me grow?  What is the perfection in this situation?”  Then stay open to the answers that come up.

 

Love Lesson #2: Love happens when you are ready

If you think that time is running out, it’s understandable to want love now.  Wanting love now can actually be harmful because you will tend to be desperate, overlook red flags, and settle for a guy who isn’t the best fit for you.

Love doesn’t just happen, and it doesn’t happen in the time you want it to. It takes conscious effort by preparing yourself for love; putting yourself in places to meet the one; getting comfortable with the unknown; and having faith that love happens in the right time.

While you’re preparing yourself for love, live your life by doing things you love, discovering your passions, soothing your soul, spending time with people who care for your well-being, and living a healthy lifestyle.

 

Love Lesson #3: Individual choices matter

Don’t make short-term decisions hoping you’ll get long-term commitment.  Every choice matters.  They either lead you closer or take you further away from the love you truly desire.  For instance, let’s say you go out with a good-looking guy who tells you he only wants something casual.  You get caught up in chemistry and think that in time, he will change his mind after getting to know you more.

Believe him when he says he only wants something casual then leave so that you are available to meet someone else.  Every moment you spend with him takes you further away by keeping you unavailable for someone who wants the same kind of relationship as you do.

Get clear on what you want, take steps in favor of your heart’s desire, and let things happen naturally.  In doing so, you will be in a long-term relationship with a great guy.

Janet Ong Zimmermanhttp://loveforsuccessfulwomen.com
Janet Ong Zimmerman, founder of Love for Successful Women, mentors women are professionally successful yet still missing that deep and meaningful love. She helps them simplify love, so they can see things clearly and know what to do. Janet's gentle and introspective manner helps her clients feel at ease, confident and hopeful about love.
Her own experience of marrying her soul mate later in life has reinforced her belief any woman, at any age, can have the love they desire. Janet wholeheartedly believes there is a special someone for every woman. Janet inspires women to open their hearts to the real meaning of love through her editorial contributions to Your Tango, eHarmony, and the Huffington Post Live.Your monthly guide to love is filled with insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that you can put into immediate use. You canread current and past issues here.
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