The Art Of Self-Love

Do you love yourself and your soul enough? In order to live a happy, positive and fulfilling life, you need to master the art of self-love.

What helped me shift my mindset?

I have a very different outlook on life lately.

It has been an interesting shift. A shift to loving and accepting myself.

In my past, I was living with the belief that I was not enough. I, as a person, was worthless.  I wanted to fit in and be loved. And I was definitely loved.  But I didn’t know how to truly love myself so I was never able to fully feel the love of others.

One of the things that were hardest for me to learn was that inherently, as a human being, alive right now, I am worthy.

Of all the possible space in the entire universe, the right number of atoms and elements came together to make me. A conscious being on the planet Earth. What are the odds of that?!

I don’t know if it is God, Fate, Universe, Creator, Soul, Spirit, Intuition, Buddha, or Allah, I think all paths lead to the same thing but whatever you title it we are all blessed to be alive right now.

We are conscious. We have self-control. We have free will, imagination, creativity, speech, thought!

We have a brain that was able to create airplanes, Wi-Fi, Netflix, cars, shovels, the wheel, toilet paper.  Our brain, the human brain, made computers. That was all modeled off of what our brain can do.

We have that brain and those thinking abilities inside of us already. That in and of itself puts me in awe of what it possible.

The Balance Struggle

Not only do our physical bodies and our minds amaze me, but I also feel that we have a compass inside of us that points us in the right direction, our spirit.

We were given/born with/have free will. We can decide to do anything right now and do it. Jump up and down, play with your cat, hug your boyfriend, rob a liquor store. There are so many different things that you could decide to do, some being more acceptable than others.

We also have self-control. We were given the ability to do any crazy thing we want but we were also given a voice or guide that nudges us and says, “you sure buddy?” or even just makes you second think, or makes your stomach queasy when you think about it.

That feeling of uneasiness is hard to put your finger on though. I remember feeling like this all the time.  Should I do this, should I flip off that awful driver for inconveniencing me by going sooooo slow? No? Oh, too late I just did…oops? (I’m working on my road rage…)

We have to take responsibility for combining free will and self-control and doing what is most beautiful. What comes out of love. If you loved this person unconditionally, how would you treat them?

Importance of Self-Love

It sounds easy.  But I have struggled with this! What if you don’t feel like you deserve to be treated that well? You’re probably going to eventually lash out at those who you think are holding you down or making you feel less than. It makes sense, you’re hurt and scared and don’t feel loved and you feel like your back is against a corner, that’s what scared animals do. They fight back.

This is where self-love comes into play. When you start to love yourself and accept your flaws and forgive yourself for the past when you didn’t know better you start to feel love for others more easily. When you can come from love and not judge you start to feel more empathetic and connected with others.

Think about it, who really wants to be around a group of people who are always bringing them down?

We would much rather be with our girls getting a boost of love and friendship! We need how to do this for ourselves! We need to stop being the person that tears ourselves down.

Again, this is not easy but it is worth it. You start to feel lighter, both less heavy and less dark.

It is like the decluttering of your soul. Have you ever had a good day of decluttering and cleaning and just noticed how much brighter the room seemed? That is what loving yourself feels like. You get a new look on life.

What is Self-Love

I have come to accept that being authentic and being the best version of myself is going to take a lot of work every day. Every day.

For some reason, we cannot just say, “Alright, I’ve got this self-love thing figured out from here on out everything I do is good because today I was good.” That is like kids acting really cute about a week before Christmas in hopes it erases everything else that they did that year.

Self-love is a daily practice. What I mean by self-love is knowing that it is okay to show up as your truest and most beautiful self. You know that it is okay to be scared to show up because it is new and different. It is being patient with yourself for falling back into old patterns but then learning a new way to interrupt that pattern.

It is also being human and not wanting to do it (or anything), not feeling worthy of self-love or any love, or simply just wanting to sit on the couch and zone out instead. Those days happen, just be conscious when you do feel that way. It is okay. Just do your best.

Daily Reminders of Self-Love

Some of the things that I have been using to help me stay on track are; being grateful, staying conscious and realizing when my thoughts start to worry about the past and remember that all I can do is what is best at this moment.

1. Be Grateful

I name at least 3 things that I am grateful for every day. I have also started to look for ‘gifts’ throughout the day and acknowledge the little things by saying, “gift received.”  Maybe I got a good parking spot or a free slice of pizza. Maybe I got a promotion or a cute homeless kitten shows up on my doorstep.

Just give a little thanks for how things lined up for you. The more we focus on what we have the more we forget about what we don’t have.

Want to know more about how being grateful can help you love yourself? Read 5 Ways Gratitude Can Change Your Life

2. Stay Present

I remember to stay conscious (present in the moment) by wiggling my toes. It reminds me to reel in my thoughts from where ever they have wandered off.  It is small and silly but if you focus and put all thoughts on some part of your body and move it you start to come back to the now.

This is good to do just every once in a while because even if we aren’t fully aware of it our brains are always thinking about something and sometimes it makes up things to worry about that haven’t even happened yet.

3. What is best in this moment?

This is a new trick that I have learned. When you are struggling with a decision and you don’t know what to do, your brain is going to start pulling old information about what happened in the past, and usually, that is scary unpleasant stuff that makes us not want to make the decision.

Instead of wadding through old, invalid data from the past ask yourself, “What is best at this moment, for me, for this situation, from a place of love?” How can I show up as my truest self at this moment?

Looking to master the art of self-love? Read How To Find Happiness By Living In The Present Moment

Self-Love, Shine your Light

When we can start to uncover our real selves and not the mask we shaped into what we thought would help us “fit-in”, we start to find ourselves where we really belong. Being seen is scary (for me at least I know it is!) but it also helps create honest connections.

By slowly loving yourself every day you start to reconnect and rediscover yourself again.  You come to terms with your quirks and insecurities and love those parts just the same.

We are on this planet with living conditions for a reason. We have thumbs and conscious thought; we are here for a reason. What if that reason was just to love yourself and shine your light as bright as possible?

How will you shine?

If you want to know more about the art of self-love, then check out this video below: