Are you someone who has ever paid the price for choosing loneliness over love?
Love and loneliness are intimately related. They either open up the heart or completely shut it down.
Most of us will experience love at some point in our lives and are left hurt when that love ends. We are bound to get hurt by love when we are younger, as we most likely do not have the capacity to stay and integrate the process of detachment and lost connection just yet.
Decisions We make out of Self-Preservation
Often we make the decision in the moment of hurt to withdraw within ourselves. In the process, however, we close off parts of ourselves to avoid getting more hurt or be hurt in the future.
When we don’t open up, be vulnerable and connect with others, we cannot invite love in anymore and the price we pay is loneliness.
The human need for connection is as old as mankind. When we lived in tribes, the punishment of exile from the tribe was considered worse than death. You can imagine then how deep our need for connection is and how profound the pain of the loss of love runs.
Reverting back to Love by Moving through Loneliness
As an exercise, observe yourself escaping into loneliness. Follow that feeling so as to really feel the pain of loneliness, in the heart, the breath, and the chest. Once you build up a capacity to feel through it, you will come upon the pain of the loss of love.
See if you can do the same with this feeling. Feel it in its entirety without further dwelling on it as self-pity or escaping from it, but become fully aware of the depth of the pain and sorrow of it.
Resilience is the Container, Love is the Healer
By giving attention to that loss of love and the memories and pain attached to it, you will heal that pain.
Through connecting and loving again, now with more resilience, you will have the possibility to love deeper, knowing that love and relationships will come and go, as with all things in life that are bound by time and space.
Written by Roland Bal
This article is syndicated with the author’s permission. Click here to view the original copy.
Choosing loneliness over love can be a painful thing to do, but maybe sometimes necessary. But you know what the silver lining is? It is only through pain and loneliness, will you able to move on and heal yourself.
If you want to know more about choosing loneliness over love, then check this video out below: