“You are 30 and still not married? Wow.”
“How is a beautiful woman like you still single?”
“You need a companion to spend the rest of your life with. Otherwise, who will support you when you’re old?”
“Marriage will complete your life.”
“You need to find a partner before it’s too late.”
And it goes on and on and on. These are just some of the comments single people (like me!) are subjected to, in the guise of ‘good advice’ by their ‘well-wishers’. Being single is not a crime, nor is it something that anybody should be ashamed of. Being in a happy relationship can indeed make you feel amazing and secure, but so can being single, especially if you have had relationships that caused you nothing but pain in the past.
Most people see singlehood as this curse that needs to be broken as soon as possible, to feel more complete. But it really isn’t that bad, is it? Rather, being single can actually teach you a lot of things about love and relationships; you just have to be willing to listen. Also, it’s any day better to be single than be in a relationship just for the sake of it.
I learned a lot from my past relationships, and safe to say, none of them were happy ones. Because of this, I now love my single life. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to spend my life with an amazing person (if there is one for me!), but for now, I’m perfectly happy being single. And interestingly, my single life now is opening up my eyes to so many core truths about love and relationships, that I did not really realize before.
20 Life-Changing Lessons Being Single Taught Me
1. Being with someone will never make you happy unless you’re happy with yourself. Unless you’re comfortable with being alone, you’ll never be genuinely happy in a relationship.
2. There’s no point in being in a relationship if your partner doesn’t respect you; respect is the most important thing, always remember that.
3. Be with someone who will support and respect your dreams, not someone who will always make you feel like your dreams are too far-fetched and overambitious. Someone who doesn’t take your dreams seriously doesn’t deserve a place in your life.
4. Changing yourself for the person you love is never the answer. If you feel the need to change for someone else, then you’re with the wrong person. Be your authentic self, and the right person will love you for who you are.
5. Just because you’re single that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Being alone doesn’t mean that you’re difficult to love; it’s always better to be alone than be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
6. Being open and vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak, rather it means that you’re strong and brave enough to open up your heart and soul to let people in. Never ever see your vulnerability as a bane.
7. In love, emotions and chemistry are not the only things that matter, timing is probably even more important. If you don’t have timing on your side, all of it will be for nothing.
8. It’s important to be with someone who doesn’t just make promises, but also follows through with them. Empty and false promises are just manipulation in disguise.
9. No matter how much you might love someone, it’s crucial to have boundaries, and if your partner cannot respect that, then you need to let them go.
10. When you are single, you’re free to do whatever you want. It’s not that being in a relationship doesn’t allow you to be free, but when you’re single, you’re not answerable to anyone except for yourself.
11. Heartbreak is an inevitable part of loving someone, and no matter how much you try to run from it, you will have to experience it at some point or the other.
12. You cannot change someone who doesn’t want to change. You cannot keep on fighting their battles expecting them to turn over a new leaf. If they love you, they will work on themselves, and if they don’t, then it’s better to move on.
13. Loneliness shouldn’t drive you to settle into the arms of someone who is not right for you.
14. Don’t give others the power to shame you just because you choose to be single. You don’t owe them any explanations or justifications as to why you have embraced singlehood. Whether you get married or not is your call, nobody else has the right to make you feel bad about it.
15. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the people who have wronged you, and everything to do with your inner peace. Forgive even those who don’t deserve your forgiveness, so that there is peace in your heart and soul.
16. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, and without it, no relationship can ever hope to survive.
17. You can never force someone to love you; either they do, or they don’t. And why would you even want to be with someone who is incapable of loving you the way you deserve?
18. Your happiness is in your hands, and if you depend on others to make you happy, then you will always end up with disappointment and heartbreak.
19. Don’t keep on chasing love, it will come into your life when you least expect it.
20. Know who you are, and love yourself for that.
Being in a relationship is a beautiful feeling, but being single can feel freeing too. You know the importance of being alone and when you feel comfortable with it, you don’t feel the need to always be in a relationship. Most importantly, you know that your soulmate will stumble into your life when you will least expect it.