Isn’t it weird to wonder if you are the unloved child of the family? Or if there is really something called an “unloved child”? Parents don’t usually pick the most loved child. Some may not even believe that parents may favor one child more than the other. But it happens more often than not.
It is possible to detect an unloved child just by looking at their emotional scars. There is a substantial difference between a child who is loved and accepted and a child who is not.
There may be reasons why a parent doesn’t give the love the child deserves. They can include:
- When the child isn’t a conscious decision
- When a child is a representation of a lack of affection between parents
The child usually doesn’t tend to understand why they are being treated this way. The unloved child seems to view the world as unfair and they feel like they are all alone. This makes the child want to do anything to change the circumstances.
Playing the Blame Game
Let’s say the mother says “I am tired of handling them”. A lot of mothers can say this due to stress or maybe they are just having a bad day.
But when there is an unloved child involved, the parent tends to put demands on the child they can’t fulfill. Since there are too many expectations, it makes the child develop more skills than necessary at their developmental stage. They are often found to always stay quiet, paying attention for long periods of time, or setting the table exactly like an adult due to these expectations
And when the child cant fulfills such expectations the parents tend to blame their frustration on the child and treat them as incompetent. The child sees that everything that they do becomes annoying to their parents and nothing is enough for their parents to accept them.
Therefore they tend to develop strong feelings of blame and develop learned defenselessness. They feel that no matter what they do the outcome will always be unappreciated.
11 Signs of an Unloved Child
When the child feels unloved, their heart breaks. They can’t understand the reason for their suffering or why their parents behaving in such a manner. They tend to develop fears and anxiety due to a lack of affection. Some of the signs of an Unloved child can include:
- The child develop fears and phobias of objects or situations which the child can’t control
- They tend to become very impulsive
- Not being able to control rage or anger
- Unable to express their emotions
- They tend to move from task to the next and become more unstable
- Developing anxiety
- Asking too many questions, not sitting still, or any kind of repetitive behavior
- They try to become invisible to avoid feelings of disappointment
- Uncomfortable being social with other people or children
- They become very suspicious and show signs of confusion and discomfort
- Being unable to trust anyone
What do we need to understand?
As humans, we need touch, hugs, and affection. Especially when we are growing up. Receiving criticism and zero affection can make a child feel unloved. As parents, it is essential to understand that no matter if the child was unwanted or if you were not prepared for it, the child must feel welcomed and loved all the same. Emotional affection is an essential need for a child just like eating or sleeping.
If the child doesn’t receive love and affection while growing up, they never learn how to love or how love feels like. Since they never experienced love, they tend to always struggle with the depths of love.