“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King
This quote reflects the mixed emotions you experience when you have to let go of people you love.
To let go of people you love as a piece of your own heart is probably the most tormenting experience on earth. The thought alone fills us with fear as if our existence will become hollow and devoid of any meaning without that person. It feels like our heart will never be able to love again.
But why are so many fear and insecurities associated with love? Isn’t love supposed to be a pure and beautiful feeling that helps us become the best version of ourselves? Are we not then confusing love with attachment? Let’s talk about why it’s okay to let go of people.
Sometimes It’s Okay To Let Go Of People You Love
Love gives you power. Attachment is a kinder word for bondage.
“The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, “I will love this person because I need them.” Or, “I’ll love you if you love me back. I’ll love you, but only if you will be the way I want.” This isn’t love at all – it is attachment – and attachment is rigid, it is very different from love.” – Jack Kornfield.
Sometimes, you refuse to let go of people you love, even though the relationship has turned toxic and ugly, thinking that it’ll make you awfully unhappy to lose the person you’ve spent so much time with. But the irony is that both the people in the relationship are already miserable.
They no longer create happy memories together; what they hold on to is a false sense of well-being. They cling on to the good times of the past, although they are suffering in present.
Freeing yourself and the other person is the healthy thing to do; it will restore the peace and calmness missing from your life. Letting go of each other doesn’t always have to be so painful – provided we have a loving relationship with ourselves.
When you are at peace with yourself, including your imperfections and failures, the process of letting go of people you love becomes easier.
Moving on takes a lot of strength. The dilemmas can get maddening, but sometimes we have to be brave for the happiness of us both. But letting go of a relationship doesn’t necessarily imply letting go of the love you have for a person. That happened naturally, so how can we forcefully remove those feelings from our hearts?
But remember this – letting go is the most “real love” there is. It’s about realizing that both people need to take separate journeys for their growth and happiness. It doesn’t mean that your love wasn’t enough, or that you no longer care for, need, and want them.
Sometimes you have to let go of people because letting go comes from a place of great love and courage. It will hurt a lot, but on the other side of the pain is peace because you know it was the right thing to do. You’ll feel happier and more alive than you’ve felt in a long while.
Souls remain connected even when bodies are detached. If you’ve experienced real love, you’ll know that it’s a profound connection between two souls that transcends the physical realms.
“Family is family, and it is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made at heart.” – C. Joybell C.
Once you form a family with someone, you will always be a family if the ties are kept alive in your heart. A family falls apart only when the connection between the hearts is broken.
Related: The Art of Letting Go
Find Happiness Within Yourself, Love Yourself Unconditionally
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
The simple truth is that you can never find happiness being in love with another person if you first don’t learn to love yourself. The joy we look for in relationships, we should first find in ourselves. We must be content on our own. That way, we won’t be scared of being alone, and letting go will be more comfortable.
A soul that isn’t at peace with itself can seldom offer satisfaction to another person. And if you can’t give happiness to another person, how can you expect it in return?
So first, learn to be kind and loving towards yourself. We should think and speak about ourselves the way we would about someone we love a lot- positively and encouragingly.
Go inside. Mediate. Spend quality time with yourself, alone. Explore nature and soak in the serenity around. Try journaling; write about your deepest feelings. Have a conversation with yourself. Find your passion and devote time to it. Reconnect with your friends. Laugh heartily, dance wildly. Be fun, be a little crazy! Do anything that brings you pure joy.
We pine for all the things life didn’t give us. What about the wonderful gifts you are blessed with already? When was the last time you expressed gratitude? Feel grateful for the abundance in life, which keeps coming from an infinite source.
Shift your focus from things that cause pain, anxiety, and stress to the ones that make you laugh, sing, and feel confident.
When you are in a bad place, and things are unpleasant in your life, it’s important to remind yourself that – this too shall pass.
Make it a habit to love yourself every day, and grow with a positive attitude. Self-love doesn’t happen in a day; it’s an ongoing process. Eventually, you’ll get there when you alone will be enough for yourself. And the act of letting go will become much less hurtful.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kaur
Trust Life A Little Bit
“Accept what is,
Let go of what was,
Have faith in what will be.”
Be resilient. Trust that something didn’t work out because something better is waiting for you. If we are honest and work towards our goals with a positive attitude, life will always guide us towards true happiness. Go with the flow, and leave the rest to time- the best medicine for healing your mind.
I hope this article helped you find some answers to the many confusing questions filling your mind. Share it with someone you feel needs to read this too.
Do you feel the need to let go of people, but you are still holding on tightly? Why? What is holding you back from letting go? What are your fears?
Share your thoughts by joining the discussion in the comment section below.
Want to know more about how you can let go of people you love? Check this video out below!