“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King
This quote reflects the mixed emotions you experience when you have to let go of people you love.
To let go of people you love as a piece of your own heart is probably the most tormenting experience on earth. The thought alone fills us with fear as if our existence will become hollow and devoid of any meaning without that person. It feels like our heart will never be able to love again.
But why are so many fear and insecurities associated with love? Isn’t love supposed to be a pure and beautiful feeling that helps us become the best version of ourselves? Are we not then confusing love with attachment?
Love gives you power. Attachment is a kinder word for bondage.
“The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, “I will love this person because I need them.” Or, “I’ll love you if you love me back. I’ll love you, but only if you will be the way I want.” This isn’t love at all – it is attachment – and attachment is rigid, it is very different from love.”
– Jack Kornfield.
Sometimes, you refuse to let go of people you love, even though the relationship has turned toxic and ugly, thinking that it’ll make you awfully unhappy to lose the person you’ve spent so much time with. But the irony is that both the people in the relationship are already miserable. They no longer create happy memories together; what they hold on to is a false sense of wellbeing. They cling on to the good times of the past, although they are suffering at present.
Freeing yourself and the other person is the healthy thing to do; it will restore the peace and calmness missing from your lives. Letting go of a person doesn’t always have to so painful – provided we have a loving relationship with ourselves. When we are at peace with ourselves, including our imperfections and failures, the process of letting go becomes easier.
Moving on takes a lot of strength. The dilemmas can get maddening, but sometimes we have to be brave for the happiness of us both. But letting go of a relationship doesn’t necessarily imply letting go of the love you have for a person. That happened naturally, so how can we forcefully remove those feelings from our hearts?
But remember this – letting go is the most “real love” there is. It’s about realizing that both people need to take separate journeys for their growth and happiness. It doesn’t mean that your love wasn’t enough, or that you no longer care for, need, and want them. Letting go comes from a place of great love and courage. It will hurt a lot, but on the other side of the pain is peace because you know it was the right thing to do. You’ll feel happier and more alive you’ve felt in a long while.
Souls remain connected even when bodies are detached. If you’ve experienced real love, you’ll know that it’s a profound connection between two souls that transcends the physical realms.
“Family is family, and it is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made at heart.”
– C. Joybell C.
Once you form a family with someone, you will always be a family if the ties are kept alive in your heart. A family falls apart only when the connection between the hearts is broken.
Find Happiness Within Yourself, Love Yourself Unconditionally
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
– Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.