Love and attachment are not the same things. We can be attached to something without loving it and we can love someone without being attached to them.
Love and attachment
Whether in relationships or life, we often get attached to certain people and things that lead to negative outcomes. We have a tendency to get attached to almost everything, whether it’s our perspectives, opinions, ideas, places, material possessions or our loved ones. However, almost all attachment is usually unhealthy and sometimes even toxic. And this can bring a lot of anxiety, frustration, suffering and sorrow into our lives.
When we are in a relationship, it is important that our love for them is stronger than our attachment towards them. In fact, when it comes to romantic relationships, practicing detachment can help a relationship sustain longer than otherwise. “Loving without attachment, without becoming dependent, is loving without being needy. It’s freely and consciously giving yourself to the other person,” explains Exploring Your Mind.
Love and attachment are very different. When you love without attachment, there is no room for ego, insecurity, narcissism or abuse. As long as you have set up clear boundaries, a relationship will thrive based solely on love, trust and respect and without attachment. “Building a relationship based on attachment means that partners need each other as a child needs its parents. They depend on each other for validation, nourishment, and to find their place in the world. This is an immature love based on needs, fears, and dependence,” adds Exploring Your Mind.
Loving everything without being attached anything
Most of us fail to distinguish between love and attachment. So we cannot love without dependence or attachment. The main reason for this is we are programmed to love with conditions. We want our circumstances and the people around us to adjust to our thoughts and emotions. We want people, places, and things to fill the void within us and eradicate our loneliness. We want our people and things to fix us and our lives. However, we tend to forget that only we can heal ourselves. Exploring Your Mind explains “No one is responsible for rescuing you. No one has to rebuild your life or make you what you’ve always dreamed of being. The responsibility is yours alone.”
But most of us are unable to accept this notion. And that’s why we are incapable of loving without getting attached. However, it is possible to keep love and attachment separate from each other and live a satisfying, happy life. And it all begins with gratitude and mindfulness. Author Luminita D. Saviuc writes “It would be so much easier if we could appreciate what we have if we could appreciate our friends, our family if we could love all of them without being attached to them. I know it might sound crazy, insane, you name it, but think about it for a second, nothing in this world lasts forever.”
Read also: The Difference Between Love And Attachment