3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

 / 

,
3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

Anyone who has been in love or experienced this pure emotion would know how liberating it feels. However, the problem is that we sometimes confuse other feelings and emotions for love. And when these feelings or emotions bring us conflict or unhappiness we blame love and think of it as something that is to be avoided at all costs. Romance is usually a rocky road for many because of the high expectations and the subsequent hurts that it entails. Love is in fact freeing, but when we add the attachment to the mix, things get all confused and messed up.

I know the concept of love sans attachment might seem quite strange for many. But it is actually wrong when we confuse attachment for love. Attachment has quite a few markers which are similar to love and it is the reason we bring all the miseries of heartbreak upon us. In both of these, you sort of give yourself over to the person you love. You stop thinking about yourself and care only for the happiness of the other person. In fact, this is what allows people to write impeccable verses describing the beauty of their lover. A lot of great art has come into existence thanks to the artist’s beloved. But attachment also has a very definite downside. We start believing that our entire life will come to a standstill just because the person we love (whom we might not even have known a few months ago) leaves us. The sole purpose of our life is turned into pleasing this other person.

Learn The Difference Between Connection And Attachment

Love is a much vast experience in comparison. It is definitely not limited to just one person, the so-called ‘object of our love’. True love is universal. Someone who has known the secret of how to love- will love every being and non-being alike. It requires an understanding of the inherent unity in the universe. All of us are one. And therefore it makes no sense loving (or rather getting attached) to one part of the creation and not the other. Such an all-encompassing love is liberating and the true essence of what it means to love. When we love only a certain person, we are being selfish for them. True love is never selfish.

Here are a few pointers which will help you understand love better:

1)  Make sure you are in love, not in love with something or someone

Can you narrow down the object of your love to one person? In that case, it cannot be love. Love flows in all directions and for everyone and everything. But if you feel this way only towards one person- you are in for a fall. This is attachment. And attachment never bodes well. Attachment makes you clingy and needy. Don’t let attachment limit and chain you to only one person. Learn to love everyone and everything. If you feel that you are becoming attached to just one person, take care not to let this attachment grow any further. Don’t choose something which will limit you in the place of something which is truly freeing. It might seem difficult at first to not obsess over someone you like, but it is not impossible. When you allow yourself to not get attached to them, you will see that you are able to love deeper. Loving one person might make you selfish, which is not what love is about.

2)  Don’t try to label, hoard or hold on to love

Love is a fleeting feeling. And it is best enjoyed like that, living in the moment. As much as you might like it, you cannot bind it. When we first experience love, the feeling is so overwhelming that we want to capture it and want to keep it with us forever. But the moment you try to bind love, you are giving in to attachment. You cannot bound love, it will only turn sour or worse. For instance, when you see a beautiful flower- your first instinct is to pluck it from its garden and keep it with you. It will definitely give you the momentary pleasure of having it in your possession. But it will soon wilt away and turn bad. The moment you seek to take control of the object of your love- it turns into attachment. Love is momentary. You need to appreciate it in the moment. If you start thinking that having a certain person in your life is crucial for your existence, leave immediately. You have become attached to them. And this will lead to conflict. You might try to limit them or yourself in trying to hold on to each other. You need to realize that limiting each other will also mean hindering the wholesome development that each individual needs. Let it go. The memories of a perfect moment are enough, you don’t have to try and prolong that perfect moment, it will only malign it.

3)  Don’t try to control someone because you want your love to be perfect

Remember the in-the-moment nature of love. This also means that love doesn’t care how perfect or imperfect someone is. Love happens out of the blue and just as the person is. Thinking about improving on your partner, telling them how they could be better is not living in the moment. It is anticipating future, and that is the beginning of the end of true love.. Love doesn’t require change. In fact, love is quite in opposition to attachment or this need for perfection. Love is spontaneous and all about the quirks that make you an individual. Don’t get caught up in the idea that you need to be perfect for your spouse or they need to change certain aspects about themselves. All of that is just attachment talking. Love someone for exactly how they are, not some imaginary perfect image of their future.

In Conclusion

Just because love is momentary, doesn’t mean that your relationship has to be. Love will come and go as it pleases. Instead of being daunted by it, try to welcome it every time it comes around, and enjoy it to the fullest for however long it lasts. You don’t have to limit or change yourself or your partner for true love. Those are only the urges of attachment, learn to break away from them.


You may also like

Love Without Attachment: Ways To Love Unconditionally
Why Non-attachment is one of the Keys to a Happy Life and Relationships
How to Release Attachments to Past Relationships
6 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Infatuated or in Love But is Obsessed and Emotionally Attached
10 Signs That Your Partner Is Becoming Emotionally Detached

The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1  is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021 

3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

— Share —

— About the Author —

Response

  1. Debashis Midya Avatar
    Debashis Midya

    test2

Leave a Reply



Up Next

When You Refuse To Let Go Of Someone You Love, Even When They Don’t Love You Anymore

Why You Should Let Go Of Someone You Love

I get it. You don’t want to let go of someone you love. Even when it’s clear that it’s over. Even when it’s clear that it is time and things will only get worse from here. Yet, you want to hold on just a little longer. But if you truly love someone let them go.

“No! No! It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. It’s working. Listen to me, I know it’s working. This is normal. Show me a relationship that doesn’t have problems. I will make it work. I know I can. Just give me a little time. Just a little more time. Please, just bear with me for a second here. Please. Don’t take it away from me yet. Please. It’s not time. It can’t be. Will you just listen to me once for god’s sake?”

But deep down you know it in your heart. You just know it. It is screaming at you. And even though you may pretend you



Up Next

7 Warning Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship And How to Rediscover Your Sense of Self

Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Are you starting to feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Do you have this persistent feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore? You know, that feeling when you are so caught up in someone else’s world, that you forget who you are? Well, these are just some signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common feeling, and lots of people experience this. If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, then this article can be a godsend for you.

Let’s delve into the all those signs of losing yourself in a relationship, so that you can stop yourself from doing so (at least to some extent!). And not just this, we will also talk about what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship. So, are you ready to explore this? Let’s go then!



Up Next

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Desperately Trying To Hold On To

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Trying To Hold On To

Do you know what happens when you desperately hold on to someone you really need to let go of? When you hold on to the idea of “us” and refuse to see the reality for what it is? You force the person you love the most in the world to hate you. You compel them to resent you. And in this process, you hurt yourself more than the other person did. This is why it’s crucial that we talk about how to let go of someone you don’t want to lose.

No one wants to let go of love

Especially when it’s the real deal. Especially when you’ve been told you are not worthy of love all your life. And this one person comes into your life and completely changes



Up Next

15+ Quotes From “Bridgerton” That Depict Obsessive Yearning

Best Bridgerton Quotes About Love And Romance

If you like romances and things from the Regency era, these Bridgerton quotes show how obsession can be a form of longing. This Netflix series features several love stories in which the characters experience intense desire and emotions.

Through eloquent dialogues and passionate interactions, “Bridgerton” powerfully reveals the aspirations that motivate its characters.

The series effectively frames the relationship between Daphne and Simon as an embodiment of smouldering attraction while at the same time conveying other major figures’ secretly yearning for each other.

Here are some Bridgerton quotes about love that perfectly sum up obsessive yearning.<



Up Next

TikTok’s Ultimate Couples Psychometrics Test: Which Iconic Pair Are You and Your Partner?

Couples Psychometrics Test: Fun Results Of Fictional Couples

Do you want to explore your relationship dynamics in a fun and insightful way? Take this Couples Psychometrics Test, the newest sensation making waves on social media, particularly TikTok!

Forget zodiac signs and typical personality quizzes; this one goes further to study your compatibility with your partner’s and give a famous fictional couple from TV shows or movies as your match.

This is a test attempts to find the perfect on-screen duo for you. It checks out our personalities, styles of communication and other oddities that make us real-life couples.

For those of you who are just wondering about which legendary pair represents your love story in th



Up Next

10 Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

The dating world can sometimes feel like you are on a wild roller coaster ride of emotions, full of exhilarating highs and heart breaking lows. And you might find yourself unknowingly become someone’s rebound. But how do you gauge that? What are the signs you are a rebound, and nothing more?

Being someone’s rebound means being an emotional pit stop for them; it’s like they are taking a short break where they are seeking temporary solace before moving on for good. It’s not a good place to be in, honestly.

Today, we are talking to talk about all those glaring signs you are a rebound, so that it’s easier for you to decide if you want to remain one, or let go and wait for someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve.



Up Next

What Are Yellow Flags In A Relationship? Is Your Relationship Sending Warning Signals?

Identifying Yellow Flags In A Relationship and How To Deal

Have you ever felt a tinge of uncertainty in your romantic relationship? A flickering doubt, a slight unease? Relationships are complex, and it’s normal for them to have ups and downs. However, it’s crucial to pay attention to the subtle yellow flags in a relationship that may indicate potential issues down the road. 

These early warning signs can offer insights into the health and sustainability of a relationship. Let us explore what does a yellow flag mean, how to identify them, and most importantly, how to deal with yellow flags to foster a stronger and healthier connection.

What Does a Yellow Flag Mean in a Relationship?

A yellow flag in a relationship is a cautionary sign that som